1
   

HOW DO I GET MY CONFIDENCE BACK AND GET PAST INSECURITY ISSUES AFTER MY GIRLFRIEND CHEATED ON ME?

 
 
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 01:55 am
@Robin Banks,
Robin Banks wrote:
... My money goes into her bank account every month for our savings. I've just got her insured to drive my car ... She decides where we go on holiday and I go with the flow. When we go out for something to eat its my girlfriend who always decides where we go ... When we order our meals, even if I really have a craving for a certain meal, I won't order it if I know she doesn't like it because I know she likes to pick at my meals ... I love salt on some of my foods but ...

Reading all that post makes me think you have a pretty good working relationship, and I don't think you have much to worry about, really. You just need to calm down a bit, maybe, and try not to worry so much. She clearly cares about you and sees your relationship as a shared life. To be honest, your girl sounds like a gem, and I can tell you love her.

I see a lot in your relationship that reminds me of me and my partner. She doesn't use any salt (high blood pressure) but I like it on my food. Also she is vegetarian and I love my meat but I also like veggie stuff too. If we go for an Indian or Chinese she will have something non-meat and I will have whatever I want, so the question of her wanting to pick at my food would not arise. Personally I would put my foot down, in a friendly way, if she tried to make me have a veggie thing and put no salt on it, just because she might want to pick at it. But I think your girl might be thinking of your health and pretending it's for another reason to save your pride. (Caring partners often do things like this in my experience). You might be too young to remember the ads on the TV for Flora margarine with Terry Wogan's voice telling wives to think of their husband's hearts and switch from butter.

When we go to a high standard veggie restaurant we will often order two different main meals and when they arrive each of us divides everything on the plate into equal halves, then eat our half and swap plates. Our friends think we are crazy but I have seen other couples doing this. Because the dish is split I can happily put salt on my part and not worry about her sodium intake. In actual fact I have cut down my salt intake a lot because too much is bad for you. You may think it is unfair to have to leave off the salt sometimes, but think about your health, as she is probably doing! We both have jobs and we each have our own bank accounts, savings etc. I don't know how much she has in her bank account and I don't know to the nearest £1,000 how much she earns. We trust each other not to go crazy and blow money on stupid things. We split all outgoings down the middle. We both like the same type of music TV and films so there is never any argument about that. Bottom line: give and take on both sides.
Robin Banks
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 03:46 am
@contrex,
Haha yeah she does want me to live a healthier lifestyle and I like that she sometimes gets on my case about it because I know that it's only because she cares. And to be honest I want to feel a bit healthier anyway so we've started going for runs and getting down the gym again. That compensates for us going for a good meal and a little drink on the weekends. We're both pretty laid back with what we watch on the tele. She has got me watching all kinds of programs that I would be too ashamed to admit to my mates that I actually enjoy watching them haha. And if there is a big game on the tele she's quite happy for us to watch that too. She only works part time at the moment and I earn a decent wage, but she is far better and more organised with money than I am so I just put it into her account. Am not reckless with it but if I have a bit of loose change in my pocket I would invariably spend it instead of save it. We do get on very well and have a good laugh together. I do know I have been well over the top with her and I'm glad I put this post up because, while I might look a bit stupid, I'm glad everyone has been so straight with me because I did need telling, so thanks for that
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 05:57 am
bookmark
I just gotta read this novel later today.
Robin Banks
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 06:41 am
@chai2,
Chai2 your hilarious mate hahaha quick everyone look how funny chai is
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 06:46 am
I have to say, Robin, that after some of the absolute dickweeds that come on this forum, it is very refreshing to come across someone like you. I wish you well and I am sure you will be OK.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 06:48 am
@Robin Banks,
Robin Banks wrote:

Chai2 your hilarious mate hahaha quick everyone look how funny chai is


Thanks!

However that won't make me read your initial post any sooner. I have to go to work and will read it this evening.
Robin Banks
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 09:48 am
@chai2,
It's upto you, but I've got what I needed out of this so it's sort of ran its course already
Robin Banks
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 09:59 am
@contrex,
Haha cheers, I'm sure I will be fine. I feel alot better already after hearing a few home truths. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and focusing on negatives, which in general are long gone, and start appreciating what I've got and enjoying it properly again. I needed telling straight so I've got no regrets about this first post. I've read it back and it is ridiculous and I needed telling so, so thanks Smile
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 06:10 pm
@Robin Banks,
Robin Banks wrote:

It's upto you, but I've got what I needed out of this so it's sort of ran its course already


Yes, it is up to me.

ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Sep, 2014 06:18 pm
@Robin Banks,
Ok, good, re not being controlling. And now you're the controlled one, from your last description.

Pass the salt..
Robin Banks
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Sep, 2014 02:00 am
@ossobuco,
I don't feel like I'm being controlled either. Just because we might do things for one another, at any given time when one is doing something for the other, it doesn't mean that you're being controlled or controlling. It's more a case of consideration and respect.
0 Replies
 
Robin Banks
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Sep, 2014 02:07 am
@chai2,
Hahaha sounds like your saturday night was a good one
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 07/23/2021 at 07:53:10