Loving married co-worker should i tell her?

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Hi all,
I cannot bear it anymore.. it has become obsessed and so engrossed..
i found one of my new comer office girl sad.. i did my best to make her happy and talking. i was patiently listening and made her talk and entertained her in various ways.. it was not for anything but rather helping a paining heart.. nothing more.

it is some time and seems she has overcome her problems and started spreading her charm.. she is not flirting sticks with marriage. but seems inside of her still there is some sadness. she was very comfortable with me and was speaking with me (me only it was my pride that whoever says ugly jokes she wont listen to)

now my problem is i am becoming very unhappy and looks odd and grudge these days
it was so nice days earlier when we had wonderful period is no longer there. she looks happy and talks with everyone .enjoying.. she is very communicative and is very good listener has a good voice and think but good physique. she is so innocent that poeple can exploit her

but i am in agony and couldnt tell anyone around that i feel this inside. she understands that i am not feeling well. passionately stays with me but still could answer throw jokes and others what i feel is a kind of possessive

it is not that i want something from her.. but i want our relation to keep going.. just talking is enough..
but i fear she might stop doing the same soon. it is because she is mingling with people who i consider against my principle.. (or say i am angry at them) it is just three of them. one who always stands near her another trying the same but a slower manner and the other through ugly jokes and pleasant faces. (sad that three of them are married and i am single). i dont own her but i feel i deserve more attention.

the thing that pricks me now is whether i should tell her what i feel and still not demanding any actions from her..
should i proceed please advice

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 2,497 • Replies: 13

[+4] - ehBeth - 08/24/2014No. Do not do that. It is very inappropriate to speak like that to a co-worker. Seek out a counsellor who can help you move past your obsessive feelings.

@silentwatch2,

No you shouldn't proceed with anything other than being her friend. If you tell her how you feel it will just make things awkward and she might back away from your friendship completely. It's irrelevant that her other three friends are married and you're not. They're responsible for their own behaviour if she can't see through it then there's not much you can do about it. Make sure your own standards are something that you can be proud of and your friend can admire. I think most people know the pain of not being able to have someone they want to be with - we just have to live with it.

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@Pearlylustre,

i dont want to proceed to anything. but just to release my pain
i want to tell her that i had this feeling.. but i can manage.. i want to tell her that my face gone wrong because of these.

what makes me feel even terrible is those three nasty men. i know she will be responsible for her actions but i care for her and could not let it happen at the same time so helpless.
these days my face is so dim that people start asking what happend? which i cannot explain..
strangely she has never asked.. may be she know it well

1 Reply

@silentwatch2,

Have you considered speaking to a counsellor about these feelings you have and the inappropriate behaviour you are considering?

It seems like you need some real-life help with all of this.

Do not speak to your co-worker about this.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

no.. i am not used to and feel ashamed off.
i feel she will understand my feelings and that chapter can be closed. keeping inside is very tight
what i feel is i should tell her only this

"please dont laugh.. i had this feeling that i was in love with you.. i dont know why it came through.. sorry.. but dont misunderstand me."

i feel else i might break down

1 Reply

@silentwatch2,

No.

Do not do that.

It is very inappropriate to speak like that to a co-worker.

Seek out a counsellor who can help you move past your obsessive feelings.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ok ... then i wont..
we used to talk a lot and now a days it is a bit backward due to my non happy behaviour..
i want to get rid of this ugly face and start working to renew our relation
which was friendly warm and so cool.

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Is this girl married? I can't tell from your headline what you mean.

You can get back this "friendly" relationship only if you act more friendly.
If she is married, then STEP BACK and only be casual.

You seem jealous of other people around her and you are pouting. That's why you are depressed.

Why do you not see that YOU are the problem? Change your attitude and you might get back to having a good relationship with her.

If she is single, ask her out for coffee. If she says YES then she MAY want to be more than just friends.

Do not be so suffocating in your friendship.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

thanks for this punkey
i should rephrase the topic name. "Friendship with married co-worker" would be apt.. i value her friendship more than anything else.

sadly she is married.. but i would have given her heaven if i met her few years back. Sad

ME is the problem that keeps pouting and depressed... but i cant help stopping it too.

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@silentwatch2,

Since the girl is married, it would be best if you moved to another department where you work, or get another job elsewhere.

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@Enaj,

no problems
I do appreciate ehBeth
it was a straight opinion.. and i think i got saved from an unpleasant situation..
i didnt say a word..
and hope we still enjoy a warm friendship

heartfelt thanks to you ehbeth

1 Reply

@silentwatch2,

I hope you're feeling better about things and able to interact pleasantly with your co-workers.

Come and join us in the word games or other more casual threads if you'd like.

A2K can be fun Very Happy

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

yes...sure.. thanks
but the things are not completely solved yet..
something inside me still craves for return of the days when i was admired. only that makes things bad.. feel like disappointed and as a loser.. when infact what is the need for the hour is being a winnerlike Sad

0 Replies

I too have this problem. Work with this girl for 4 years. We are both married. I feel like she flirts with me as much as i do to her...kinda...
I fell in love with her...HARD...I would tell her..but she always thought I was kidding..even though I was dead serious.
I broke down
I TOLD HER.
she was blindsided. I couldn't help it anymore and it ALL came out!! Everything!
She dropped the great friend line...she also said she didn't know what to say..
I cried in front of her and appologized for making her feel awkward.
I am hurt..my wife sees I'm upset about something...
This girl seems to have dismissed it all and I am just miserable and don't know what to do.I love her

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Loving married co-worker should i tell her?

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