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buddies girl and trouble believing her

 
 
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 01:40 am
Long story shorter.. Her and I are pretty close I know more about her than my buddy does or it feels that way...... In the past 2 months she has had girls nite 3 times and all 3 times she's ended up at a guys house. Now 2 of the times her man knows about. Now a look into her past I know she has messed around on my friend as I was the guy she fooled around with (he doesn't know) we did stop as she claimed she started feeling guilty... Now all this started first time she went on the girls nite out she tried to lie and got caught by him... This last time she kinda came clean to him.. Not sure if was the full truth. The one that's bugging me is the 2nd girls nite out supposed to have been a girls nite out her girlfriend ended up. Leaving the bar around Midnight and she ended up hanging out with a mutual male friend who has a girlfriend as well but they left the bar before bar close (2am here) and went back to his place alone for around 2 hours. She tried to lie to me about this she tried to say she was to drunk and had to stop by WalMart to sober up she ended up slipping up and finally told me she went to this guys place. But she said if her man asked she would tell him she stopped by WalMart, after getting home around 4am she went to sleep on the couch woke around 9am that's when her and I talked and she tried to lie. She then went back to sleep on the couch until around 5pm got up and took a shower... Then the red flags started to fly I've know this girl quite well she isn't one to take showers every day never has she took a shower before she went out then to wake up and take another shower I knew something wasn't right. I did ask her if they messed around she said no they just talked but the way she replied to my question I could tell she was lying or hiding some thing. Now this situation is really starting to get to me I don't. Know what to do as I don't want to let him know and possible ruin their relationship unless I have prof I do have her voice recording saying he will never find out about being with this guy alone at his house... Not sure if I should just wait and try to catch her red handed or what........
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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 4,837 • Replies: 23

 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 01:50 am
@tommygunn,
WELCOME to the forum!

R u the kind with the round drum magazine ?

I love the MP5, but with .45 ACP, u get the job done better!





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 02:00 am
@tommygunn,
tommygunn wrote:
Long story shorter.. Her and I are pretty close I know more about her than my buddy does or it feels that way...... In the past 2 months she has had girls nite 3 times and all 3 times she's ended up at a guys house. Now 2 of the times her man knows about. Now a look into her past I know she has messed around on my friend as I was the guy she fooled around with (he doesn't know) we did stop as she claimed she started feeling guilty... Now all this started first time she went on the girls nite out she tried to lie and got caught by him... This last time she kinda came clean to him.. Not sure if was the full truth. The one that's bugging me is the 2nd girls nite out supposed to have been a girls nite out her girlfriend ended up. Leaving the bar around Midnight and she ended up hanging out with a mutual male friend who has a girlfriend as well but they left the bar before bar close (2am here) and went back to his place alone for around 2 hours. She tried to lie to me about this she tried to say she was to drunk and had to stop by WalMart to sober up she ended up slipping up and finally told me she went to this guys place. But she said if her man asked she would tell him she stopped by WalMart, after getting home around 4am she went to sleep on the couch woke around 9am that's when her and I talked and she tried to lie. She then went back to sleep on the couch until around 5pm got up and took a shower... Then the red flags started to fly I've know this girl quite well she isn't one to take showers every day never has she took a shower before she went out then to wake up and take another shower I knew something wasn't right. I did ask her if they messed around she said no they just talked but the way she replied to my question I could tell she was lying or hiding some thing. Now this situation is really starting to get to me I don't. Know what to do as I don't want to let him know and possible ruin their relationship unless I have prof I do have her voice recording saying he will never find out about being with this guy alone at his house... Not sure if I should just wait and try to catch her red handed or what........
I suggest that u take the ez way: just let life unfold & go by
and don t do anything.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  7  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 05:24 am
@tommygunn,
Walk away from this drama.
0 Replies
 
oralloy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 05:46 am
@tommygunn,
tommygunn wrote:
I know she has messed around on my friend as I was the guy she fooled around with (he doesn't know)

I predict that if you attempt to bust her for cheating with some other guy, it will backfire on you badly.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 05:53 am
Let me get this straight: You are cheating with a girl (on your best friend) and now she is cheating with still another guy, and you are worried/jealous/mad?

She's acting like a slut. You are acting like a fool.
CoastalRat
 
  4  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 08:22 am
@tommygunn,
I'm with Punkey on this one. You're an ass for messing with your friend's girlfriend. Just mind your own business and don't get involved in what this girl is or is not doing. This is between your buddy and her, not you.
0 Replies
 
tommygunn
 
  4  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 09:04 am
Yes I do understand that her and I messing around was a crappy situation, and I am an ass for that. If I have to own up for my mistakes I don't have a problem with that after all it was my mistake. I didn't ask this question to get assured my actions should be acceptable or I had no wrong. I have been worried because the last 3 days she's been complaining of UTI problems and I'm worried it might be something more like an STD and not just a UTI. I do thank everyone for their advice good or bad.
0 Replies
 
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 10:59 am
@tommygunn,
So...if she's not your girl the why worry. Actually sounds like you're lucky she's not your girl...
0 Replies
 
Aldistar
 
  4  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 11:03 am
I was going to say you seem pretty high handed about her cheating when you have betrayed your friend just as badly. However, the medical issues and chance of your friend catching an STD or worse from this girl should trump anything else. He should be made aware that he needs to not have relations with this person without protection. Be prepared for this to blow up in your face, because as soon as you rat her out she is going to do the same to you. It would be better if you told him your part in this before he hears it from someone else. Just know that you may lose him as a friend as well.
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 11:32 am
@Aldistar,
Sounds to me like she's community property.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  3  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 02:49 pm

The safe & ez way to handle it
is just to forget about it
and leave it alone, minding your own business. Then there will be no trouble.

IF u tell the guy, then he coud get mad at u
and strike out at u somehow.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  6  
Reply Tue 19 Aug, 2014 05:26 pm
She can get her answer about whether it's an STD or an UTI from the Dr. You need to distance yourself from all this drama.

She is pulling you in on her problems.

You need to go to the Dr. and get tested, just in case. With her sleeping around so much, you could have issues.

0 Replies
 
niceguy47460
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2018 12:24 pm
@tommygunn,
I would tell him everything so he knows to get tested . you should get tested to . and to let him know she is a lyer and a slut . you both need to leave this girl alone
0 Replies
 
bunnyhabit
 
  0  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2018 12:37 pm
You need to tell her boyfriend exactly what she told you unless you're interested in becoming her boyfriend. She is obviously a serial cheater and liar after cheating three times. I would recommend you distant yourself from her. You need to decide your loyalty is to her or her boyfriend as both is impossible.
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Dec, 2018 12:48 pm
@bunnyhabit ,
This is a thread from 2014.
0 Replies
 
Cotton1212
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2021 09:53 am
@tommygunn,
Tommy this is what I would do. OK she’s Cheating. I’m just coming out of a relationship with a girl half my age. She was a master at omission of the truth. And I don’t think she was that smart either. Anyway tell your buddy I thought about this for several weeks and I’ve been thinking about it as if it was happening to me and my girlfriend was cheating. Tell him hey bro I would want you to tell me but I want you to tell me just the fact that you know. Most likely you’re going to find out he probably already knows through other ways. Like he’s awake conscious..

I’ll reply about that omission of facts so. Lying
0 Replies
 
Cotton1212
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2021 10:41 am
@tommygunn,
OK bro the lying part. Lying through omission of facts. I got divorced about two years ago my ex-wife is extremely smart and extremely wicked. My ex girlfriend is a sweet girl she’s just young and I’m a lot older. Both are masters at lying through omission of facts.
First of all they’re gonna make you tense/nervous because they are. You’re gonna smell the BS but you’re not gonna want to believe it. That’s the “you” problem and the primary problem. But their primary problem constructing this lie is how much detail do I add and how much do I leave out ex. “My dog ate the homework” “honey we don’t have a dog”

Remember this is very important to them and they’re going to be dealing with stress so the construction of the lie is gonna be a little bit weird. Most likely they pulled the same stunt on someone before it’s just now for whatever reason they’re pulling in on you. So you’re already way behind in this game. The lie that I’m referencing was a urinary tract infection. This is where they show how smart and determined they are. (They are thinking how much superfluous additional information do I add sothe story seems plausible). This is where they screw up. And that’s where you catch them every time. Women can be very creative with adding information that you are not going to be aware of necessarily. Female health issues etc. you will hit your Google search and start seeking out this information and now you’re going to be chasing her lie and deception and now that’s gonna make you feel guilty.
Now if you really wanna get tricky just take a mental note but don’t confront him or her initially about these lies of omission. And if you really really want to get tricky you first start talking about when is her mothers birthday or you talk about something pleasant that you’ve already discussed. And listen very closely at how quickly or slowly they’re speaking at that moment. When you confront her with the lie they will automatically break into that rehearsed story and their voice will speed up and most likely they’re going to add even more detail versus the original story. This part takes skill.
If you just be cool and not confront them guilt is going to start to work on them. But it’s important to let the other person know that you know somethings not right about that story. I was outraged I threatened her with leaving and then I told her I would not leave if she only told me the truth. But now I was lying to her. She knew that I knew but she wasn’t certain what I would do if she told me the truth.
She did tell me that she cheated on me but it was with an old high school boyfriend she was very drunk and it didn’t mean anything. Now read that last sentence very carefully. Now she was not omitting information necessarily but she was adding information to somehow justify her deed. When she said “old boyfriend and I was drunk and he didn’t mean anything”. See that’s too much information. What most likely happened was she was smashed on two bottles of wine and she had sex with some random dude. That was about a week later and then I left. And by the way this technique that I found worked for me only work because they didn’t know I was aware of all the stuff and they were just normal liars.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Sun 20 Jun, 2021 11:27 am
@Cotton1212,
As Punky said, this is a thread from 2014.

The OP will have long gone.
0 Replies
 
daryan12s
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 25 Jun, 2021 06:40 am
@tommygunn,
Don't take part in this drama. Otherwise, in the end you will be made guilty.
0 Replies
 
 

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