can someone tell me if im completely wrong in this situation?!

Forums: Relationships, Relationship And Breakups
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Before i got into a relationship, i had a friend who was always there for me through thick and thin.I admired and respected him for that because i have been through alot in life and he was the only person who has been therefor me. I didnt realize he had feelings for me until he admitted it a month after i got into a relationship. My then boyfriend who is two years younger to me, wanted me to give him my friends contact number and namr so that he could verbally abuse him and threaten him. When i refused he accused me of hiding something. He asked me to explain why i gave my friendship more importance than my new relationship i told him because my friend has been there for me alot and my conscience and my gut told me tht it was wrong to confront that way and thqt i owed him at least that much respect for everything he has done. However my boyfriend fails to understand my reasoning and put me through hell for 2 yrs and 8 months even though i have tried everything to prove my love and care for me and shown him that he can trust me. then few months before the break up he starting sextexted a girl, flirted with a so called friend of his and even went third base with her. I chose to forgive all that and overlook his fkaws. Then suddenly, heartlessly he decides that he cannot and chooses not to trust me because of that mistake i made of valuing the friendship. He never let that go. So am i completely wrong here?! Is it right for him to say that I am the one that cant be trusted.? Is it wrong for me to be so hurt and devastated by this considering this was my first relationship.
Can someonr, anyone please temme if what i did was sooo bad that i deserved to be hurt and broken. I would love a fresh perspective on this because being stuck with the feeling of being untrustworthy and worthless is not something i think i can deal with for long.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 7 • Views: 757 • Replies: 7

[+3] - jespah - 08/13/2014You've been acting like a doormat for 2 years. This boyfriend was jealous and possessive. He wanted to contact your friend and harass him (and then had the nerve to tell you that you were wrong for...

@dorothy26,

You've been acting like a doormat for 2 years. This boyfriend was jealous and possessive. He wanted to contact your friend and harass him (and then had the nerve to tell you that you were wrong for refusing to allow that?)?

To use the technical term for your ex-boyfriend, the guy's an asshole.

To be dissed by an asshole is meaningless.

Dry your eyes and smell the coffee. You're considerably better off to be rid of him, and maybe consider counseling to figure out why you'd waste 2 years of your life catering to someone that hostile and demeaning to you.

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@dorothy26,

I agree with Jespah.

You did not do anything wrong. The only mistake you made was staying with the boyfriend for so long when he clearly didn't respect you. This kind of controlling jealousy is not part of a good relationship (and the discussion you had with your friend is irrelevant).

Your boyfriend acted like a jerk. Break ups are always hard. Give yourself a little time to recover, but move on. There are plenty of men who won't treat you that way.

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You've got bigger issues than a friendship that interferes with your relationship.

Your BF is a cheater, manipulator, and has driven your self esteem down so low that you blame yourself for his behavior!!

Ye gads, girl, get ahold of yourself! I am surprised your "friend" didn't tell you all this - but I bet he did and that's why BF does not like him.

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@dorothy26,

If your friend wants to leave you then please let him go. its not your fault dear. time is a good healer and after some time you will come to know that who is true here and your friend also realize here.

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@dorothy26,

You did the right thing. He sounds emotionally immature. Take a big sigh of relief...he's also a cheater to make matters worse.

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@dorothy26,

I can smell true jealousy! Truly understand how you felt!

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You are not the one in the wrong! Your ex sounds like a real piece of work. Refusing to give up someone you care about to be abused is a noble thing. Mean spirited people will always react meanly when others around them act in noble ways. They will try to bring the good person down to their level so that they can justify their own crappy attitude. I'm sorry that your first real relationship was with someone so unworthy of you, but you need to understand that you are far better off without this person in your life. I hope your friend is still a part of your life. Did you return his more than friends feelings? Take time to get yourself in a good place with just being you and if the answer is yes then maybe cross the relationship bridge with him. The best committed relationships usually started out as being good friends.

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can someone tell me if im completely wrong in this situation?!

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