Don't know if you'll get this as was a long time ago but it isn't ok for you to want to and he can't, I'm not judging you but his fantasises and desires are no different from yours. If I'm honest I Think this is more difficult for blokes because of stigmas but I can say with honesty there are many many 'straight' men out there who have or would do certain things. My view is its normal. I don't believe you have to be gay to be attracted or do things with another guy unless that is exclusively your life I.e. Emotionally, physically, sexually 100%. If you can't let him feel that way and be open to it, may I politely suggest you shouldn't ask the sa,e of him, you're equal! I wish you the best!