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Sun 16 May, 2004 05:04 pm
I went on a date(strong word but there's no other word to describe it) with a guy i met over the net, anyway I knew he wasn't good looking from his photo but he sounded really cool so I agreed to meet him. I went out with him and when i saw him I thought oh well this isn't going to go anywhere because he just isn't good looking and i don't find him attractive (shallow i know). As the night progressed i decided actaully that he was really quite amazing, we had alot in common, he's funny bright all those things. I found myself feeling attracted to him and thinking that i've based all my former relationships with men on looks, if i don't think they attractive well i just don't bother with them. Anyway I started to wonder about how many great people i may have missed out on because of my idiocy.
the points this before I went out on the date with him, knowing what he looked like, when asked what i wanted from a relationship I said I'm not sure if i want one, and know i find myself really wanting one with him, but will i look desperate or like a hypocrite if let him know how i feel? Basically how do not seem like undecided buffoon and not desperate or does it matter and should i just be honest with him.
Why don't you just focus on going out with him again and let things go from there? Why worry about the "relationship" at this point?
If things develop further down the road and he brings it up you can just say "things have changed" (which is true. They have haven't they?) He may even take that as a compliment which leaves you smelling like a rose.
too true i'm just a control freak type..
Yes, go with the flow, tagged. Just see what happens. Your instincts might just turn out to be correct!
It's just i been single for a while now and i was jsut beging to enjoy it now this ****.
Life can be full of surprises .... Don't plan for a bit ... Just enjoy & see what happens! If being alone feels better, then enjoy that! But, on the other hand ....
yeah man see that's it though it's always easier to give advice and tell epopel how to runt heir lives then run your own... i mean if i wasn't in this situation it would be real joke to me.
Take a deep breath .... Now RELAX, RELAX, RELAX!
It's not a "situation", it's just life.
thanks msloga, it's just that meeting this guy has unearthed a whole bunch of emotions i havent felt in a long time
That could be nice! :wink:
god it's so cold i'm typing lieka dyslexic i'm shaking so much... yeah it's tru but it's scary as i said control freak
psssssssst: Why not contact him, say you really enjoyed the outing & wouldn't another be good? Simple!
oh don't worry we have been smsing each other... and we both said we would like to see each other again, i'm just hoping he wasn't saying it to be polite...
As Zorba the Greek said to the constantly worrying Englishman: You THINK too much, that's you're problem!
yeah thats pretty accurate, I'm a serious insomniac
Personally speaking, I would never tell a man that I was undecided because of his looks. I don't see anything but pain here. Would you want a man telling you this blunt honesty? "I liked you, but you weren't attractive enough, but I changed my mind." You would tell that person to screw off somewhere else, as this man should say to you, if you decide to be so open and shallow.
You made a different decision, once you got to know him. Take the time you need. Instant sexual attraction never made any relationship worthwhile. Don't screw it up!
Just tell me how you really feel, tagged, I mean, I flew all that way.
tagged_lyricist wrote:It's just i been single for a while now and i was jsut beging to enjoy it now this ****.
It's ALWAYS that way. Have fun, life can be so monotonous - work, same friends, gym, same club - think of it as a nice diversion. Be yourself (Not hurtful! Don't tell him about his looks Ouch!) and try to let that "control freak" have a night off. From a former control freak, it's nice to let good things happen all by themselves!
Oh and Welcome! I'm new myself, hope to chat with you again in the Forum!
No i would never ever tell him he's unattarvtive... because he's not to me anymore... and i never said that i wont consider i relationship with him becasue he's unattractive, I'm not that crude, i just said i'm not really looking for one.
And it's jsut that yeah i have been very shallow in the past, and well now i got to eat my opionated words because i always mocked my buddies about unattractive partners. It's a learning curve I guess, a maturity thing.
Thanks sam and angie for that, it puts some perspective on things.
When you least expect it, expect it. In other words when you least are looking for a boyfriend or a commitment that is usually when you find some one that you want such a relationship. I had been single and loving it when I met this man. That was the last thing I was looking for. He ruined it for me. I ended up marrying him and we have two sweet little girls now.
Like the others have been saying just enjoy it. See how things work out and don't worry about it. I, too, am a control freak so I can understand.
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