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Girlfriend might be lying about being raped...Help!

 
 
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 06:58 am
Hate to have to bring this up but there is a surprisingly limited amount of information online about the situation ive been drawn into.
So heres the story: Ive been seeing my girlfriend lets call her Lexi 24y/o f, and I myself am a 27y/o m for just about a year now. Last night we got into a argument around 12:00am about a topic we were tense about all day. Please do not judge but we were staying in a lower / middle range motel that we stay at pretty often and are both addicted to opiates even though thats pretty irrelevant in my personal opinion.
She has been raped twice that i know of in the past , one of the attackers was prosecuted and convicted, im unsure about the other.
Weve argued before about her being out alone late night as there are some weirdos in the area and she has a habit of taking flight instead of talking out any issues, shes also cheated on me before and told other minor lies that diminished my level of trust but still i feel like i should give her the benefit of the doubt and provide her with as much comfort as possible for i could not begin to imagine the aftermath a rape could have on someone.
So after she walked out the door i could hear her chatting with a couple males one or two rooms down, sounded as if there may of been a female also. Could vaguely hear their voices and couldnt make out any of the conversation.
I know most people will think i should of interfered right then but understand i was pissed at this point because i just got done telling her how much that bothers me to be walked out on. Im not abusive or irrational and rarely yell. Im pretty easy to talk to so that really is insulting to me.
After about ten minutes the voices leave and i hear a door close, not sure if she went inside also or ventured elsewhere but again out of my frustration blew it off.
45 Minutes later im really frustrated and decide to walk to the store and see if i bump into her along the way. About ten feet out the door i see her walking towards me from the other side of the street (appeared to of maybe just started walking towards me when i came outside and may of been sitting for a few minutes). She was distraught in tears, pants were buttoned (jeans) but i could see her panties hanging out from the top still worn but ripped on one side, her shirt was also ripped , and the only thing i could maybe consider to be a sign of struggle other then the clothing tears was a small amount of blood on her face (easily.could of been self inflicted from a pimple or something). And another thing to consider is she is into some pretty rough sex (as am I so was already experienced and happy to accomodate) retraints, spanking, choking, bdsm type stuff which i know can be common in victims of previous sexual assaults so end up defending her in that field also
Im freaking out asking what happened and where he was , which way did he go? She proceeds back into the room without any response to lay in bed while i ran around the nearby streets looking for anyone suspicious or any witnesses, its a pretty busy street in a mid size city and even being late theres still a handful of people on foot and a little vehicle traffic. Had no luck......and figures mysellf being in a motel across the streetf or SOMEONE would hear or notice had this happened somewhere public which may or may not be true as she still has remained silent about it and i dont want to make her feel like i think shes lying or think its her own fault.
When i got back from checking around outside she was still in bed and proceeded to the shower without making any police or hospital contact (even though she contacted authorities in the past).

Is there any tell tale signs i should be looking for, non invasive questions i should ask to help me determine the truth and comfort her should this be the real deal? This is the last straw for me if it ends up being bullshit just want to make the right choice. And get some unbiased opinions.
I know its a long thread so if you managed to read through and better yet can shed some light then thanks in advance!
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 07:09 am
One word for both of you: therapy.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 07:16 am
@megaxzef,
It does not matter.

Truly, it doesn't.

I would have been gone with the lying, the cheating, the walking out.

Just how many different ways does this gal have to get across to you that this is not working out?

So - sorry to say, because I take rape seriously - it does not matter. And from what I'm reading here, it sounds like the only one who was really saying anything happened recently was you. She is abusing opiates (morphine?), going into strangers' homes, they are locking the door, and she is neither struggling nor calling out. That does not mean she (or anyone else) deserves an assault. But she is certainly making it easy for someone to get away with it. And by saying nothing, calling no one and making no move whatsoever to go to the cops or a hospital, she is also making it easy for someone to get away with this.

Was there consent? Who the hell knows? But does it matter? Because here are the options, far as I can tell -
  1. She had consensual sex with someone(s) else. So she's physically cheating on you.
  2. She was raped again (but also put herself out there and made herself vulnerable unnecessarily) and is doing nothing to report it, either to somehow protect herself (a misguided notion at best) or she doesn't trust the police or whatever. Definitely tying your hands.
  3. She likes ******* with your head to see what you'll do, if you think she's been violated. And you fall for it.


Like I said, it doesn't matter whether there is any veracity whatsoever here. All of these are pretty bad scenarios. Can you think of any positive ones? Because I sure as hell can't.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 07:30 am
I agree with Jespah. This woman is bad news for you. If you hang out in this "addicted to opiates" scene, though, they will likely all be trouble...the worst kind of woman (or person) - a drama queen, a cheater / liar / user, behavior disordered, bi-polar, get you into situations you have to fight for your life to get out of, don't give a **** about pregnancies, children... Get clean or stay celibate. A bad woman can multiply your trouble exponentially.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 02:37 pm
You two argued, she left in a huff, returns disheveled and - does she say she was raped? - or was that something you assumed?

You run around looking for an assailant, and find nothing. She showers and changes and goes on her way.

Pretty bizarre.

You are fishing in the crazy lake. Why are you so surprised that you landed this type of gal?
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 08:27 pm
@PUNKEY,
"You are fishing in the crazy lake."

Word.
0 Replies
 
gungasnake
 
  2  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 08:40 pm
@megaxzef,
Ditch this girl and take a year away from sex, learn to play golf or develop some alternate interest so that when good relationships aren't available, you've got better things to do than stumble into bad ones.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2014 08:48 pm
this woman needs to get all of her fix in BDSM, needs to stop being a rape victim. Maybe you are the one to provide but to this point you have not so prob not. You should let her go, go find a nice girl who does not have a itch to be abused.
0 Replies
 
 

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