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Wed 11 Jun, 2014 02:28 pm
So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and I feel like I truly love him and never cheated on him or even thought about it. I think he feels the same way since he's almost every day with me and he says he loves me and that Im the love of his life, but I have to confess that sometimes I feel insecure over it, because he says it but doesn't show much interest in if I believe it or not or even if I say that I love him back. We do have really good sex and frequently because he have told me how he loves it and I can notice too. However, everything have worked out for us but lately he's feeling stressed about his future (hes 18 and im 17) and he needs to figure out what to do with his life now that he graduated HS, but what has me stressed out too is that he came up with this idea of getting a bartenders license and become a bartender for the rest of his life or while he gets enough money to open a business, he's not so sure of what he wants yet but thats most likely his goal and he wants to accomplish it by my side, he wants to marry me in the future and be with me forever, but I don't think it will work out for us if he becomes a bartender now, I haven't told him how I feel about it because I don't want to be an obstacle in his way or anything that might ruin his future, that's why im giving him the opportunity to think better and maybe realize that is not a good idea knowing how I am but the thing is he hasn't even ask me if that's ok with me. He hasn't ask me if i like that idea of becoming bartender but he keeps telling his friends that he's seriously opting for that. So I don't know what to do or what to tell him, I don't want him to become a bartender because I just don't like that lifestyle because it's not appropriate for a good relationship or good lovers that want to spend the rest of their life together, and i dont want to spend the rest of my life with a man that has to be flirting at work because to be reallists that's what bartenders do, otherwise im leaving him , but i dont want to tell him to choose between me and his job, what to do? How do I tell him that I rather him to go to college like I will or get another type of license, What to do?
@saltylifedgs,
Whether he is a bartender or a bricklayer, you'll need to develop more
self-confidence and also be able to trust whoever is your partner. Flirting or not, you'll need to trust he will not stray. If you can't trust his flirting, then
Regardless of whatever he does for his work, he'll be exposed to attractive women. It's unrealistic and a bit fuzzy thinking to focus on his bartending as the reason for his wanting to stray, if he ever does.
Also, at aged 17, the likelihood you'll have one partner forever has a mighty remote possibility.
@saltylifedgs,
saltylifedgs wrote:
I just don't like that lifestyle because it's not appropriate for a good relationship ...... i dont want to spend the rest of my life with a man that has to be flirting at work.
What gives you these ideas?
You can say the same thing about many professions; sales, wait staff and if you're the jealous type, any other profession.
It's a job. Bartenders serve drinks to both males and females. They are busy and have a lot to keep track of. They work for tips and so are friendly to whoever is buying them.
Also, you're 17. How do you know how bartenders act?
@saltylifedgs,
I love my wife. I want to stay with her forever. But, I don't like people who work for the government and she started working for the government, in a round about way, a few years ago. I told her I didn't like people working for the government and I did not know if I could stand being married to one who did, but she didn't listen and now I'm married to someone I love and want to be with but who works for the government and I don't know if I can stay with someone like that. She tells me about all the flirting that goes on in her office and I know that she will probably eventually possibly give in and start cheating on me with one of these flirting government employees, so I don't know what to do. Should I make her choose between her job and me? Should I tell her to find another job outside the government? Or do I just say the heck with it and divorce her after 31 years of marriage? (Oh crap, tomorrow is my 32nd anniversary. Guess I better figure out what to get her. The government problem might be the least of my worries.)
Does the above seem silly to you, saltylifedgs? It should because it is. Does it make your post seem just a little silly? It should because it is. If you love him and he loves you, does it really matter what he does for a living? After all, he could stray just as easily in an office setting as in a bar setting. (I work in an office and believe me, the flirting that goes on there is probably more than many bartenders are involved in.)
Take care.
@chai2,
I know how they are because I used to work in a restaurant and there was a bar, I worked there for almost a year and the bartenders were always flirting and had like a different girlfriend every other week they also drink a lot while working and I just don't think that's an appropriate job for the man I want t i spend the rest off my life with and I think he can find a better job because he's young and smart. The point that scares me is that if he wants that party life that bartenders have is maybe because he doesn't care much about me or he didn't mean it when he told me I was the women he wanted to marry in the future, though I think if I get a bartender job he wouldn't like it either because he's the jealous type too so idk, any advice??
@saltylifedgs,
Have you read any of the responses here?
She was only the barman's daughter, but she pulled the wrong knob and got Stout.
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