Fool me once.....

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I met you online months ago. It was uncanny the way we clicked. The common interests we had. I was so excited to meet you one day. I woke every morning excited to check my phone for a new message or video from you. I loved your videos, watching your expressions, hearing your voice. I know you love your son and I loved that you brought me into that part of your life. I would watch your videos over and over, listening to the narration as you pointed out local landmarks and feet of snow along the side of the road. You made me laugh. For a brief time, I was happy.
And then, just as suddenly, you were gone. You were going through a divorce, you said. It was terribly stressful on you and your son. You needed time. Time to focus. Time to get yourself together.
And as hard as it was, I respected your wishes. I stopped calling you. Stopped
sending you emails and text messages. After a few days of having to pick myself off the floor, I started to manage without you. I went on with my life, thinking of you from time to time, wondering if you were ever thinking of me. For the most part, I was happy again. If not happy, at least content. I found a new job. I went on a date with a guy who really liked me, though my heart wasnt in it. It still belonged to you.
Months passed and one day there was a Facebook message from you. You said how sorry you were. That if I'd give you another chance you'd spend the rest of your life making it up to me. You said you had been falling in love with me and needed time to get yourself together but you were certain now. You said you wanted me to be a part of your life. You bought me a plane ticket to fly there at the end of the month. I was so excited I barely slept for a week.
And then....as quickly as you returned, you left. Again. Your divorce became final and you didn't deal with it well. Your son was struggling. Your ex stole your savings and you'd have to sell the ticket to be able to live. You didn't say this to me on the phone. In fact you refused to acknowledge my phone calls. You said it in an email. When I broke down and told you I'd already been approved for a week off without pay and had sold my car, you asked me to leave you be, adding that you'll never hurt me again. You won't risk it. But you've already hurt me. Twice. And the worst part of it is that I trusted you. I trusted that you would be true to your word. I trusted you that this time you were sure. I trusted that you respected me enough as a human being that you would show some compassion and reach out to me when you told me our plans to meet had been cancelled. I thought you'd talk to me about it, not because I wanted to change your mind. I understood. But because its the humane thing to do. When someone you love is hurting, you reach out. I know you're hurting. I know divorce isn't easy. I'm compassionate to that. And I'm patient. The distance between us means nothing so long as I have you to talk to and laugh with. But you're gone. Again. You've sufficiently pushed me away and closed the door. And I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you live with yourself knowing what you've done to me not once but twice. These are real lives we are talking about. And I'm a real person with a real heart that hurts and feels. I try to envision my life without you but I just can't. I see you standing in the kitchen making breakfast. I see your arms wrapped around me at the lighthouse. I see you in everything I do. Perhaps time will ease that pain and the visions will be replaced by someone else. For now, It's hard to believe that could be true. I simply can't imagine anyone in this world created as a more perfect match for me.
If you had reached out and talked to me...told me you needed more time, I would've gotten it. I would've understood. But to shut me out and ignore me again is a pain almost too great to bear.
EDIT: MODERATOR: DELETED NAME, you are the love of my life. And I will be here waiting. Until I'm done waiting.