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Wed 12 May, 2004 10:20 am
Today in the mail, i received yet another piece of junk mail devoted to suckering the unwary to attend a "motivational seminar." I was about to toss it in the trash when something caught my eye . . .
Among the more illustrious motivational speakers, such as Rudolph Giuliani, there is listed Miss Jessic Lynch. Here's how she is described in the brochure:
JESSICA LYNCH
Survival is a choice
Private Jessica Lynch astonished the world when she survived the unthinkable and escaped from Iraqi capture. You will be amazed as she shares the key strategies that she used to survive and thrive in the most brutal of circumstances.
* How to Win Against All Odds
* Developing the Disciplines of a Survivor
* How to Eliminate Fear and Amplify Confidence
* Resolving Crisis: 3 Tactics that Get Results
* How You Can Solve Impossible Problems
So, the girl has a shot at a good living from the rubber chicken circuit. Nice to think that she has a career.
That's a heart-warming story! American know-how and so forth. Of course, there will a fair amount of fabrication, but that's been part and parcel of this story from the get-go.
Kind of like Project Iraqi Freedom in its entirety, come to think of it...
Wow, she's a regular Tina Robbins.
<cav quickly hides his receipt for her lecture at The Learning Annex>
I am contacting Lynndie England about doing a "how to entertain at theme parties" seminar gig.....
Tyrin' to cash in before she attains true celeb status, huh, Bear?
I hear she is in negotiations with Penn and Teller to reproduce her escape onstage. Of course, afterwards, they will reveal how it was really done.
that;s how you really make the cash...catch 'em on the way up or on the way down.....I'd love to book the Cheney Rumsfeld Rice unplugged mall tour.....I could probably get them to open for Avril..........
That would be an interesting tour, BPB. Rice and maybe Lynch (what an unfortunate last name for an American She-ro) would be the only ones smiling.
cavfancier wrote:That would be an interesting tour, BPB. Rice and maybe Lynch (what an unfortunate last name for an American She-ro) would be the only ones smiling.
There's a whole new income stream.....we can get trucks and cars driven through the gap in Rices teeth as she smiles...now we're not only doing malls but car shows and Nascar side stage stuff.....my God how the money will flow in......
I heard from Chaucer that gap-toothed women were really horny chicks. Maybe Rice just needs a new profession.
Her mother was a beauty operator
Her sister could weave and spin
Her Daddy owned a licquor still
An' a old cotton gin
Watch that ol' money rollin' in . . .
cavfancier wrote:I heard from Chaucer that gap-toothed women were really horny chicks. Maybe Rice just needs a new profession.
I will avoid the obvious remark that anyone having worked for the bush administration is pre qualified to be a prostitute.
That would be petty, mean spirited and provocative and I will therefore resist the temptation to even suggest such a thing in the spirit of a childish and unhumorous joke.
I am too mature for such nonsense.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww . . .
That would be a three-bagger--one for you, one for her, and one for the dog so he still respects ya in the morning . . .
I applaud your selection of the high ground. No need to draw the obvious connection that this admin is one of the largest producers of lubricants since Harding.
You are a credit to your species
Rather unfair comparison there, FM--Harding was a mental defective, and couldn't help himself, so it . . . uh, wait . . . never mind.
Well, BPB, given your comment, I will argue in a serious manner.
Point A: You are clearly mature enough to enjoy such slurs, whether you want to admit it or not.
Point B: You insinuated that my remark was 'obvious', so on some level, you must agree.
Point C: You probably assumed I was talking about famed writer Geoffrey Chaucer, which is not the case. I was referring to G-Dog "Superfly" Chaucer, resident pimp on the street with the lowdown on the medieval, and gettin' medieval on his hos' asses. We can't say the same for Dubya, now, can we. G-Dog keep things in line, and has fine quotes to spout when needed.
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