Opinions please!

Go see a marriage counselor.

ah hahaha <wipes tears from eyes>

haha yeah... I guess.

I thought someone would have an opionion if I am crazy or if this seems like a sure thing. After I read it myself I think I would be crazy to believe him.

You wrote,

Meeting in the park can be considered a friendship rather than an 'affair of the heart.' I guess it's a matter of trust, but if your husband has been lying, it may mean more than just friendship.

I guess the balls in your park to do as you think best.

No, I think I just know it's true. I really figured everyone's opinion would be a flat out ya he is lying. I thought of a lie detector test.

Well, CLEARLY he has been in contact with her. Getting weed for her? How nice of him!

How come the husband didn't believe this story?

Look, he owes you an explanation if he is seeing this woman romantically. He's telling so many stories now that it's difficult to figure out what's going on.

Ya. Story kept changing now he sticks with he made a mistake talking to her and "hanging out" once , but nothing happened.

My sincere opinion.

Cheating spouses can be tricky. I´d been dealing with my personal problem so i can relate to yours. I understand your feeling of despair and that feeling of becoming crazy. The best way to solve this is try to focus on facts.

So using the information you gave on your post we can assume. There is something really suspicious going on with your husband. You are not crazy he seems to be cheating with an old school love.

He knows this woman from a long time ago from whom you have no idea about. He talks to her without your knownledge. She met with her in multiple occasions without your knowledge and or your consent. And suddenly a man starts to accudse him of an affair.

His history cracks very easliy, he told tou that a manwas accusing his male coworkers of having an affair with his wife. And suddenly changes to "he was the only one the guy thought had an affair with his wife."

Now this is what bothers me. Does your husband is a dealer or why does he was her wed provider? This answer goes directly to, did you know he uses weed?

Her call doesn´t proves nor denies anything she seems trying to solve her own marriage problem. So ignore it it is not a fact.

Don´t go to an astrologer. Collect facts. If you want to know the truth he doesn´t seem to be in the mood of providing it. So make an investigation. Check movements of bank accounts. Try tracing his movements of weeks ago. Like a working trip try to find out if it really ocurred.

Theres a saying on my country tha says: never do something good and let it pose as a bad thing, and never do something bad and make it pose as a good thing.

One more thing you can try and talk again to that woman´s husband but try to get facts from him. We men have a trend to get angry easily so his emotions can cloud his clear thinking. Don´t let him contaminate your thoughts.

Thank you for all of the advice. I might call him again. The only facts I could check were the texts and he was accurate. He hasn't gone on trips or anything like that. And ya I knew about the weed but I don't approve.

I think you shoud prepare how to face this problem before you get the answer, if your assumption are true, what will you deal with it, divorce your husband or forgive him, so please make mental preparation in advance.

It may sound crazy but I am more upset he would lie than about the cheating.

Why should he lie OR cheat? Why should you be put in a circumstance where you have to accept either of such behaviors?

I don't think I should have to accept either...but for some reason that is the part bothering me. I have no idea why.

That's a natural reaction from some one you're supposed to be able to trust for the rest of your life. Once lost, it's probably one of the hardest thing to win back.

You can discuss this issue with your husband, and tell him if he lies again, your relationship is over. Then, do it! It's not worth living a life of lies. You'll live a tormented life. The choice is yours.

There's an easy solution. Ask him either:
- why he has to meet her in a park to supply her
- where his supply of weed is
- who his supplier is (if he is supplying weed that regularly, then he is getting a regular supply of it - you can check his phone records for the suppliers number)
- how much he's paying for it
- how much he's selling it to his friend for

You can also ask: If she's just a friend:
- why have you never invited her over
- why have you never told me about her
- why did you feel the need to lie to me about your friendship with her (he didn't mention it when talking about 'the crazy guy')

All of that will tell you if the 'I'm her weed supplier' is false.

If he complains about lack of trust..well, he breached trust when he wasn't forthcoming with:
- the 'real' situation at work' and
- his 'friendship' with this woman

Usually people only go 'tell #### that YYYY and $$$ is @@@' when they have no confidence that the person on the other end of the phone will say the 'right thing' to get them out of the pickle...so they feel the need to put words in that persons mouth for them to spout back.

It's odd that he didn't say 'can you just tell my wife we meet up once a week for weed?'

Great advice! I will check in to all of that. I agree the phone call was shady. He thought her saying there is no friendship here would lead me to believe him. Not at all. Maybe had she said we are just friends, but she sounded mad at him.

I agree with Vikorr and CI

If he has cheated on you and his lying about it, the chances are pretty good that he's lied to you before. Has this been an issue in the past?

If lying has never been an issue for you in the past than that is some indication that he may be telling you the truth now. Certainly not a sure thing, but if you're looking for something to support your desire to trust him, that would be one.

We only have your side of the story, of course, but based on it, I would bet that he has cheated on you and is lying.

Interesting that the woman responded "...you need to get your own marriage in order like I am."

Could mean nothing, but it's interesting. Sounds like she's admitted the affair to her husband and is attempting to fix things with her husband. That she is suggesting he do the same.

You may want to try sitting him down and (without anger-although some tears might help) telling him this thing is eating you up (which it seems is the case), and while you won't be happy about his having an affair you can forgive him if he did and live with it. Tell him it's the possibility that he is lying to you that is eating you up (and this seems to be the case too), and it's damaging your marriage. Tell him that if he has one chance, now, to tell you the truth, that it will really hurt you but you are prepared to forgive him and move on, but if he doesn't and you find out later, you will leave him immediately and try to ruin him in the divorce.

You have to be able to sell this to him, even if you don't mean really mean it.

If he comes clean then you have two choices:

1) You can try to forgive him and move on with the help of a marriage counselor

2) You can leave him.

I wouldn't feel bad about tricking him, if you decide on #2, as he will have admitted to being a lying cheater and you won't owe him anything.

There's no guarantee that (assuming he did cheat on you) this will work and he will come clean, but you may have an opportunity to judge whether or not he is lying.

Most people have a tell when they lie. Unless your husband is a Grand Master Liar (and his story on this isn't the work of an artist) he will do something when he lies. He'll break eye-contact, he'll blink repeatedly, he'll speak more rapidly or more slowly than normal.

Take a look at this article

http://parade.condenast.com/57236/viannguyen/former-cia-officers-share-6-ways-to-tell-if-someones-lying/

There are plenty of others if you google "physical signs of lying"

Maybe while reading this article or others you'll recognize your husband's lie tell from past experience, or if you really want to get tricky you can set him up with a question involving what you know or suspect will be a lie (having nothing to do with this woman) and look for his tell. Then when, a day or two later, you hit him with the ultimatum about the women you'll know what to look for.

Clearly, this isn't 100% fool-proof, but it may go towards validating what now may seem like paranoia or undue suscpician in your mind.

You may never know for certain if he's lying to you but having a pretty good sense that he is or isn't can help inform your decision on how to move forward.

If for whatever reason you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt and stay with him, let it all go. If you can't let it go and it's going to be on your mind all of the time, then my advice is to leave him now.

Good luck

Thank you for taking so much time to reply . All of this really helps so much. I needed this post. I am going to take all of this advice! I know I can get over it if he's just honest... I can't get over lies. Thank you very much!