Breaking it off without hurting her

Oh Jesus H Christ.

You're a real prince.

Keep telling yourself this what a great guy you are,

So, the guy is player.


My main observation is that he hides, which is at the least, tacky.

I guess I need to add, just tell the woman you are married.

If you slept with a married woman (that you knew was married), you would know she had a husband - it wouldn't be a secret - it would occasionally come up naturally in conversation - you know, like grown-ups talk.

I don't have a problem with married people having sex outside of their marriage - I do have a problem with it being kept a secret. Your wife and temporary partner have the right to have the same information you do.

____

You've met no one's needs but your own.

You've got a wife, and now you've got a single woman who thinks you're single and that she may have a shot at a relationship with you (cuz that is how that works when single women go to dating sites).

not worried about your own ass?

tell your wife and the temp gal what's going on

I completely agree. I wish more than anyone else I could be open about this. But what would my wife prefer? To be in the dark, and to stay in our marriage, which I think is healthy, at least healthier than average? Or to find out the truth, and probably get a divorce and have everything come crashing down?

I would love nothing more than to be able to tell my wife "look, I have this desire, and you don't want to help me with it, so I'm gonna go get it satisfied somewhere else, but I still only love you". But my wife wouldn't understand that. Heck, she honestly tells me that looking at porn and masturbating is cheating on her. It's just not gonna happen. I honestly think she's happier not knowing. How can you possibly claim differently?

The other girl is different. I honestly think she doesn't want a relationship, she really just wants to be friends. (It was on "that" dating site where dating really isn't the goal). I could see the possibility of her being "better off" knowing, but is she? Would she like to know that she slept with a married man? Or is ignorance bliss here too?

in that case, telling her you're married isn't a problem

show her this thread - ask her what she thinks

That...is a very good point

Well, I ended up telling her and not only is she ok with it, she has a boyfriend in Europe. I'm glad I told the truth, it's so much better than to keep lying

Sure you are. And quite facile at it, too. Shame on you.

I'm not a chronic cheater. It was a one off deal, to try something I had always wanted to try but never had the opportunity to do so before I got married.

In my mind, there is a difference between "my wife isn't making me happy, so I'm going get laid elsewhere" and "I wanted to try something, never got the chance before getting married, wish I had, but got the chance now and tried it and now I'm done". This could have just has easily happened before I got married, it just didn't. But it's not like I'm not happy at home, in fact my wife and I are extremely happy. I just wanted to try this one thing in my life before I died, and now I did, and I'm done. That's it.

If you really feel that you'll always be thinking of her or get another to replace her, get a divorce. Your wife should be able to feel as desired as you made the temp feel. I hope your wife finds a man that blows her mind and can be faithful. If the temp hooked up with you over a "business trip", she probably doesn't care that you're married ..she could've asked.

One less lie is a good thing.

you seem to care more about the womans feeling off ,the two week fling ,more than your wifes ,, what! if she finds out im married . not,, if, what if my poor wife finds out im cheating ... you! are a lowlife, why be married, if you intend to go on sites to cheat???? i do hope your poor, wife, finds out ,and dumps you, and finds a man that will treat her like a princess,,, and you !end up being a lonely asshole >

I'm not sure you understand he doesn't care about his wife. She's only his narcissistic supply. Her life doesn't count. Nobody counts but him.