Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 09:20 pm
So I take this class with two of my friends. Let's call them S and D. So the other day I was talking to S and my mutual friend, and she told me that S told her that he has a crush on me. Now S is a good friend of mine, and I am not attracted to him in any way at all. But I do have a big crush on D. We have talked quite a lot, an we know each other pretty well, there is a slight chance that D likes me back but I am not sure. For the past week neither S or D have been talking to me. My friend thinks that S told D about his crush on me, so D has backed off a bit. I am seeing them both tomorrow at class. I usually hang around S, and D talks to us but he usually hangs around his other friends. Now I am a year younger than both S and D. D is quite attractive, of course that isn't the only reason I am interested in him, but it is the reason that other girls in the class are interested in him. I want to continue my relationship with D, but I don't want to hurt S's feelings. What should I do?
 
alexsimon
 
  3  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 11:26 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
You shouldn't do anything right now. Let the whole thing rest for some time
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 08:45 am
@corrinarose98744654,
Why let other people run your life?

If you like someone, then act on that feeling.
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 09:28 am
Another post that starts out, "So ......." You don't need advice on relationships, but I do have some for you, "get a real hobby."

You're welcome.
corrinarose98744654
 
  0  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 01:34 pm
@PUNKEY,
That is part of my problem. I would like to act on the feeling but the fact that S is getting in the way makes is more difficult.
engineer
 
  3  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 01:41 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
I suggest being direct with D. He is acting as S's wingman, trying to smooth the way, covering his back, etc. I think your best bet is to tell D "I really like S as a friend but have no interest at all in him romantically. On the other hand I think you and I have some chemistry." D will convey to S that he has no hope. Whether D will act on your invitation is up to him.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 02:40 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
I think you're wrong there, bobsal (for a change).
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 02:54 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
I see part of the problem is that you heard S has a crush on you from someone else, so it's hard to be direct to S (I know engineer mentions being direct with D and I can see doing that).
You could be the one to tell S that you have a crush on D, but I don't feel right about that either. D should be the first one to know that you do.
Does S show you by his behavior that he has a crush? Then you could just tell him you only want to be friends. Not easy, but clear.

As I got older, even in my twenties, I tried to be clear; I was and am not always great at this. Plenty clear when interested, though.

bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 06:49 pm
@ossobuco,
We'll see. I'm watching for a while.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 08:22 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
1.

corrinarose98744654 wrote:
So the other day I was talking to S and my mutual friend, and she told me that S told her that he has a crush on me.



S was there while your friend told you that S told her he has a crush on you?
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 08:24 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
2
corrinarose98744654 wrote:
But I do have a big crush on D. We have talked quite a lot, an we know each other pretty well, there is a slight chance that D likes me back but I am not sure.


the ONLY way to find out is to talk to D
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 08:27 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
3
corrinarose98744654 wrote:
D is quite attractive, of course that isn't the only reason I am interested in him, but it is the reason that other girls in the class are interested in him.


you know that how? you ran a survey?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 08:28 pm
@corrinarose98744654,
4
corrinarose98744654 wrote:
What should I do?


stop talking to your other classmate/friend about this - you don't want to encourage people gossiping about other people's business

talk to S/talk to D

get ready for the end of the school year
corrinarose98744654
 
  0  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2014 08:08 pm
@ehBeth,
No, I was saying that she is a mutual friend of ours.
0 Replies
 
corrinarose98744654
 
  0  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2014 08:08 pm
@ehBeth,
No, a lot of girls flirt with him and hang around him. Not with him, around him.
0 Replies
 
corrinarose98744654
 
  0  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2014 08:10 pm
@ehBeth,
She is only friends with me and S. She is the only person I talk to about it. S hasn't been responding to my im's. Our class is outside of school, and goes on through the year.
0 Replies
 
corrinarose98744654
 
  0  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2014 08:12 pm
@ossobuco,
Yeah, S told our friend, and she told me. S clearly shows that he likes me, he gets really close and is staring at me all the time. It is quite creepy.
0 Replies
 
 

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