I need relationship advice

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So I take this class with two of my friends. Let's call them S and D. So the other day I was talking to S and my mutual friend, and she told me that S told her that he has a crush on me. Now S is a good friend of mine, and I am not attracted to him in any way at all. But I do have a big crush on D. We have talked quite a lot, an we know each other pretty well, there is a slight chance that D likes me back but I am not sure. For the past week neither S or D have been talking to me. My friend thinks that S told D about his crush on me, so D has backed off a bit. I am seeing them both tomorrow at class. I usually hang around S, and D talks to us but he usually hangs around his other friends. Now I am a year younger than both S and D. D is quite attractive, of course that isn't the only reason I am interested in him, but it is the reason that other girls in the class are interested in him. I want to continue my relationship with D, but I don't want to hurt S's feelings. What should I do?

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,831 • Replies: 16

@corrinarose98744654,

You shouldn't do anything right now. Let the whole thing rest for some time

0 Replies

@corrinarose98744654,

Why let other people run your life?

If you like someone, then act on that feeling.

1 Reply

Another post that starts out, "So ......." You don't need advice on relationships, but I do have some for you, "get a real hobby."

You're welcome.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

That is part of my problem. I would like to act on the feeling but the fact that S is getting in the way makes is more difficult.

1 Reply

@corrinarose98744654,

I suggest being direct with D. He is acting as S's wingman, trying to smooth the way, covering his back, etc. I think your best bet is to tell D "I really like S as a friend but have no interest at all in him romantically. On the other hand I think you and I have some chemistry." D will convey to S that he has no hope. Whether D will act on your invitation is up to him.

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@bobsal u1553115,

I think you're wrong there, bobsal (for a change).

1 Reply

@corrinarose98744654,

I see part of the problem is that you heard S has a crush on you from someone else, so it's hard to be direct to S (I know engineer mentions being direct with D and I can see doing that).
You could be the one to tell S that you have a crush on D, but I don't feel right about that either. D should be the first one to know that you do.
Does S show you by his behavior that he has a crush? Then you could just tell him you only want to be friends. Not easy, but clear.

As I got older, even in my twenties, I tried to be clear; I was and am not always great at this. Plenty clear when interested, though.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

We'll see. I'm watching for a while.

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@corrinarose98744654,

corrinarose98744654 wrote:

So the other day I was talking to S and my mutual friend, and she told me that S told her that he has a crush on me.

S was there while your friend told you that S told her he has a crush on you?

1 Reply

@corrinarose98744654,

corrinarose98744654 wrote:

But I do have a big crush on D. We have talked quite a lot, an we know each other pretty well, there is a slight chance that D likes me back but I am not sure.

the ONLY way to find out is to talk to D

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@corrinarose98744654,

corrinarose98744654 wrote:

D is quite attractive, of course that isn't the only reason I am interested in him, but it is the reason that other girls in the class are interested in him.

you know that how? you ran a survey?

1 Reply

@corrinarose98744654,

corrinarose98744654 wrote:

What should I do?

stop talking to your other classmate/friend about this - you don't want to encourage people gossiping about other people's business

talk to S/talk to D

get ready for the end of the school year

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

No, I was saying that she is a mutual friend of ours.

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@ehBeth,

No, a lot of girls flirt with him and hang around him. Not with him, around him.

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@ehBeth,

She is only friends with me and S. She is the only person I talk to about it. S hasn't been responding to my im's. Our class is outside of school, and goes on through the year.

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@ossobuco,

Yeah, S told our friend, and she told me. S clearly shows that he likes me, he gets really close and is staring at me all the time. It is quite creepy.

0 Replies

I need relationship advice

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