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Female Opinion on Online Dating

 
 
LiquidT
 
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 05:09 pm
Looking for a females opinion on online dating. I maybe testing the waters with online dating again but having trouble. Couple things you should know.

1) I believe my profile is upbeat and interesting. I can be the center of any get together or hang home and watch movies. I also have a lot of hobbies including guitar, drawing, videogames and so on. My point is I include a short idea of my personality and hobbies.

2) When I message someone I pick something in their profile and comment on it. I never message with something boring or generic. "Hey your a painter that's rad cause.."

3) I get it. I'm not clueless. I got a solid idea of what girls like, and how to not be creepy. I grew up with a lot of female friends and a sister so I'm not one of those guys that "doesn't get it." Well I think any way.

My problem is I get a message back but then they stop messaging after the first couple. I can definitely tell that they think I'm interesting and probably think I'm good looking but something happens and it drops off. I've always had a gf and don't have trouble with this in person. It's just online.

My question is what are girls looking at when viewing a profile? What would be the main cause of messaging a guy and then stopping right away? Is there something I'm missing?

Preview of my profile here
http://i.imgur.com/HtV5r0I.jpg
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 06:05 pm
@LiquidT,
What the hell are you thinking? You just entered the current post where you're asking advice about relationship issues where you state you're in a romantic relationship with problems. Now you want advice about your online dating profile How insincere and shallow can you get? Your present g/f is recovering from her cancer operation and in remission. She's trying to sort out her life. What a supportive friend you are! NOT!

In your online dating profile please put in the part about being insensitive, shallow and insincere and still involved in a romantic relationship.

Quote:
3)"I get it. I'm not clueless. I got a solid idea of what girls like, and how to not be creepy. I grew up with a lot of female friends and a sister so I'm not one of those guys that "doesn't get it." Well I think any way."
LiquidT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 07:11 pm
@Ragman,
We've talked about goin with an open relationship so before you start freaking out on me realize that I don't include every detail and facet of my private life online. I was under the impression this was a question based forum in which each post is answered individually. I'm not writing a blog here. I appreciate your advice but I'd also appreciate it if we can stick with the question being asked.

Since it has already been brought up and I'm sure plenty of people are just WAITING to outrage because of your comment I will further explain.

In a past post I asked a question about a gf. I've been loyal and good to her for over 3 years. I've had little to no passion in this relationship no not fault of mine or hers (do to medical reasons). After asking advice from friends and here we talked about an open relationship situation or another change of the sort. Nothing is final but shes fully aware of what I'm doing and is fine with it. I'm not 100% ready to date as I'm not sure if this relationship will end and if it does i'll need recovery time.

I've been bored at work and I personally think there's nothing wrong with creating a profile on a dating site to talk and make friends. I have no current plans to deceive any one. So hopefully that shuts up this argument and we can get back to my question at hand.
spikepipsqueak
 
  3  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 07:24 pm
@LiquidT,
Can't speak for others, LiquidT, but when I am corresponding with a man on a dating site I like it when we can talk a little about me, a little about him and a little about 3rd party topics.

The men who tell me all about themselves, as if they are a subject I should be studying, just fall off my radar. This may not be the case with you, only you know.

Personally, I like to chat, and there have been many men that I have corresponded with having no notion of ever meeting, but perhaps after a few messages these women are wanting to meet but not saying so.

Sexist, I know, but what can you do? Smile
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 07:24 pm
@LiquidT,
Looks like you just want to be able to say all the right things in your profile, and in messages to women, wanting to know what girls like so you can just parrot those words.

I'm not seeing where you're concerned that your profile says anything that's true about you, just that it's upbeat and interesting. Meaning it's what you think girls want to hear.

As a woman, that's my opinion.

Between this, and your other thread, I have the opinion that you use people to get what you want. I wouldn't give you the time of day, but I'm sure there a women out there who will think you're a swell guy based on your upbeat profile and interesting messages.
LiquidT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 07:48 pm
@chai2,
1) I'd prefer someone actually take the time to get to know me rather then read a 100 word profile. I'd hope it does it job and just start a conversation.

2) People don't normally pure out there heart out on a profile. They put a few things down about their hobbies and or interests so of course its basic.

3) That's awfully judgmental to state such a strong opinion at someone who is just asking a question. All you know about me is 2 posts. 2 posts worth of words and you feel you have pegged me for a womanizer.

Since everyone seems to be more interested in who I am and not my question I'll tell you I'm not out to find a secret phrase to get laid. I'm not even 100% into meeting any one. My life is changing and I just like the idea of chatting with someone new while at work. I'm hoping I don't get crucified due to curiosity. I posted for advice on specific questions, I didn't post so you could take an attempt at judging me. Whether you believe it or not I'm a pretty damn nice guy. I open the door for people on the street, I'm loyal to whom I date and when IIIIIIII give advice. I try to give advice honestly and without judgement.
LiquidT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 07:54 pm
@spikepipsqueak,
I don't think its sexiest. I think it makes sense. I think most people are just looking to chat, to connect. Maybe my problem is I'm not very good at moving from subject to subject. Who knows :-)
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 08:41 pm
@LiquidT,
LiquidT wrote:


3) That's awfully judgmental to state such a strong opinion at someone who is just asking a question. All you know about me is 2 posts. 2 posts worth of words and you feel you have pegged me for a womanizer.




You asked for my opinion.
You didn't specify you wanted a wishy washy vague, says nothing really opinion.

Next time ask for opinions, but only if they argree with you. That should work.

You asked for a females opinion, you got it. If you don't like it, that's your problem.
LiquidT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 08:58 pm
@chai2,
I asked for your opinion on my dating profile. Not an opinion on who you think I am as a person based on what you've read in other posts or the perceptions of others.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 15 May, 2014 10:33 pm
@LiquidT,
LiquidT wrote:

Looking for a females opinion on online dating.

My question is what are girls looking at when viewing a profile? What would be the main cause of messaging a guy and then stopping right away? Is there something I'm missing?



No you didn't. You asked for females opinion on online dating.

What are girls looking for when viewing a profile? Not someone writing stuff that you think the girl wants to hear.

Why would a girl stop messaging?
Because she decides she doesn't like the guy.

Oh, and calling them girls instead of women.

Are you a boy or a man?
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 12:20 am
@LiquidT,
LiquidT wrote:

3) That's awfully judgmental to state such a strong opinion at someone who is just asking a question. All you know about me is 2 posts. 2 posts worth of words and you feel you have pegged me for a womanizer.



Looks to me like you have similar problems with your online dating chats and your chats on A2K while seeking advice.

The personality you project online is off putting, cold and seems insincere. You might want to study the posts in this thread and learn from them. Study how people respond to you and then analyze how you could rewrite your dialog so it is more inviting, has a bit of warmth and attracts two way conversation.

You've got a great learning opportunity here. Drop the ego a few notches and try again.
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 12:34 am
@Butrflynet,

Quote:
2) When I message someone I pick something in their profile and comment on it. I never message with something boring or generic. "Hey your a painter that's rad cause.."


Quote:
My problem is I get a message back but then they stop messaging after the first couple. I can definitely tell that they think I'm interesting and probably think I'm good looking but something happens and it drops off.



Give us an example dialog. What happens after you say " hey, you're a painter?"

Rethink this technique as your opening line. It doesn't give the person much to work with other than them saying something like "yes, I see you read it in my profile.". Rather than leaving it as a yes/no question or comment, leave it open ended so it invites further conversation and there is more depth to you than the ability to read a profile.

For instance, you could ask what medium she uses and who her favorite artists are. Share your favorite artists with her. From there, after a few minutes you could ask if she would be interested in viewing an art gallery or museum together.
LiquidT
 
  2  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 12:14 pm
@Butrflynet,
Butrflynet wrote:
Looks to me like you have similar problems with your online dating chats and your chats on A2K while seeking advice.


That was a really respectable answer. I think I can see what you mean about coming off cold online. In person I joke and smile the whole time during an interaction with someone. I think that off balances my poor word choices.

As for an ego. I'm not sure what you mean. I've only defended myself against the typical online drama user who is more interested in creating a personal conflict rather then focusing on the subject. If I am coming off with an ego I'm sorry and was not my intention. I'm just a guy in a shitty position lookin for advice not judgement.
:-\

But I really like your answer. To the point and honest.
0 Replies
 
LiquidT
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 12:20 pm
@Butrflynet,
That makes sense. I need to add more details into my conversations. You nailed that one for sure. I tend to try and keep things short and concise. I guess I figure people are like me and don't want to read 2 3 paragraphs.

Here is an actual example of a conversation.

"I liked what I read. I hope your not TOO shy. I'm really looking for an adventure buddy. Since I'm sure you probably deal with alot on a dating website I'll be straight with you. I want to go out with someone new and grab a drink, play some arcade games, do some mini golf. Nothing more nothing less. At heart of what is to do something new with someone new." -me

"Hey. Well to match your up front attitude, I am not really looking to date right now. More meet cool new people to hang out with. I am pretty new to the area, so friends is much more appealing than dating.
What kind of video games do you like?" -her

"For me personally, I don't care if its a date. I'm more then happy being friends but I am a flirt so I hope that's alright. As far as video games? Haha Well its one of my favorite hobbies. I'm into a lot of things including guitar, drawing, painting and photography BUT video games are high up on my chart. I'm into just about everything from adventure games to competitive shooters. I think what draws me in to gaming is the art but I also enjoy the challenge/reward you get. Do you have specific games your playing right now?" -me
spikepipsqueak
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 May, 2014 06:48 pm
@LiquidT,
LiquidT wrote:

... What kind of video games do you like?" -her

"For me personally, I don't care if its a date. I'm more then happy being friends but I am a flirt so I hope that's alright. As far as video games? Haha Well its one of my favorite hobbies. I'm into a lot of things including guitar, drawing, painting and photography BUT video games are high up on my chart. I'm into just about everything from adventure games to competitive shooters. I think what draws me in to gaming is the art but I also enjoy the challenge/reward you get. Do you have specific games your playing right now?" -me


What I see is that she asked you a specific question. You gave her a lot of information about you, while ignoring the question, and then turned her query back on her.

You COULD have responded to what she actually asked. Is this that point that she stopped writing?
0 Replies
 
kajla00007
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 Aug, 2014 03:02 am
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0 Replies
 
 

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