is my husband cheating???

I don't know, why don't you ask him?

That does sound like suspicious behavior. Have you talked to him about this? Is this all new behavior? Has he been unfaithful to you in the past? Is your relationship otherwise healthy?

IS he gay?

A very noticeable change in behaviour is triggered by a change in your life. If you then try to hide that change, you are either afraid of the consequences, or ashamed of the change.

Why don't you asked him what's changed.

i have tried but when i do he gets really mad and pissed off at me .like he is avoiding the subject. and he had done one thing in the past , a year ago, that had impacted our marriage(when he started talking back to his ex which i found out by digging since he deleted all evidence and hide it from me) but we talked about it and he said he would never do it again. i'm a woman and a woman knows when something is not right with their man. the thing is all i have right now is suspicions and intuitions , i don't know how to get evidence that he is doing something wrong or not, because he is really sneaky and never admit when he does something wrong.

i have tried talking to him or asking him what is wrong but when i do he gets really mad and pissed off at me .like he is avoiding anything that i have to say or ask.

i don't know . he never showed any homosexual behavior around me.

I take it that you don't like conflict?

There are some things that are worth 'fighting' for...or in this case, forging ahead with. This conversation is one of those, no matter how he tries to divert it...stick to what you want

Unfortunately, there's not a set script you can follow - much of it depends on his responses...but at the base of all this (if done properly) is a calm belief that:

A. The consequences for me of not having this conversation are '.....'; and
B. The consequences for our relationship of not having this conversation are '....'; and
C. 'I have the right to both ask, and hear the answer to this question'; and
D. It is truly necessary to me, and our relationship to have this conversation, and hear a genuine response.

Underlying both A & B are the validity of your emotions, and the effect they have on your feelings of security, trust, and respect (both self-respect and respect for him)...and your own self-esteem

C & D are both reliant on the answers you found in A & B.

Self-respect is an issue because your feelings should always be valued - by you. ie. if you tread all over your own feelings, you aren't showing any respect for yourself. And if you don't respect yourself - others instinctively realise it, and 'instinctively' will show you less respect. Love without respect is...difficult.

Self-esteem is absolutely essential to long term, and deep seated happiness. It's essential to caring for yourself, and a fullness of caring for others (you can care without high self esteem, but it also tends to many times be undermined by little voices shouting 'but what about me'). Life without self-esteem is not all it can be.