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when do you know he deserves another chance

 
 
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 02:46 pm
I am with this guy since last 5 years. And he has hit me 4 times within the last 3 years..
the 1st time when he had hit me it was really bad he had hit me multiple times.... he begged me back and I stayed
and once when we was angry he kind of choked me..which was 8 months ago..
..
he fights with me quite a lot over the fact that i am not able to give him much time now a days.. because i am keeping really busy and while we were fighting this time he slapped me twice really hard.. I just told him i have had enough and decided to leave ..its been more than 10 days and he is begging me to stay and crying and saying that all he wanted was to spend some time with me..
when we aint fighting he is very loving but when we have a fight and i argue with him he starts abusing me over the phone..
he says he is just not himself when he is that angry ......
and that with anyone in his family he never loses his temper like this but only with me..
but he really loves me and cant be without me..
i just dont know what to do..he is asking for one more chance.. should I give him one?
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 03:48 pm
@augustwind1992,
No - and you know that. Also, that isn't love.
0 Replies
 
sunyata
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 04:43 pm
@augustwind1992,
i mean if you want to be beaten, by all means take him back.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 May, 2014 05:12 pm
@augustwind1992,
http://able2know.org/topic/244569-1#post-5661340
0 Replies
 
augustwind1992
 
  1  
Reply Tue 13 May, 2014 12:55 pm
I know I should not be with him..but his begging and crying is making it so difficult for me.. making the decision of separating from him is already very difficult for me and seeing him so depressed and trying so hard to get me back ..it is only making things more and more difficult for me..and I am feeling very guilty and weak
0 Replies
 
bryancullen142
 
  0  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 12:31 am
@augustwind1992,
When you feel his sincerity, then give him a second chance but if those things happen again then it's time to leave him right away.
vikorr
 
  3  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 02:04 am
@bryancullen142,
Sincerity would be 'I know I was wrong for hitting you. I admit that I have an anger problem. I will go and seek counselling...I won't blame you if you want to leave. What I'm asking is a chance to seek help for myself, and made ammends for what I've done'....or some such.

Blaming her for his physical violence, in any way, is not sincere.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 02:41 pm
Guilty and weak - just what every abuser looks for in a victim.

0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 2 Jul, 2014 04:05 pm
@bryancullen142,
There is no reason whatsoever for anyone to wait for a second injury because of allegedly sincere "I'm sorry's". By your logic, it's only good for her to leave him if he gets a second chance to smack her around.

Why, exactly, does she need a second injury (and in her case, it would be her sixth, BTW) in order to prove that this guy is an abuser?

Hint: even dog bite cases don't require so many proofs of viciousness.
0 Replies
 
 

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