Does any one know the answer????????

!!!!

You also miss the point ebrown that you do not have to be in love to have sex and many people have sex simply to enjoy sex with no love involved. That is attraction and lust. Love is different. Many people in love after years of being married or together for instance do not even have sex regularly. What does that mean? Imagine you truly love some one and do not have sex. That negates everything you state.

I think the problem with your thought process is you are confusing attraction and lust for love. Some one loving another even though they are bald chubby or what you consider unattractive, does not mean you truly do not love that person. What is so false about loving something others may consider unattractive? By saying with love I am a prince married to a beautiful princess is not reality. I have an attractive husband, but would never consider him a prince. I realize he is a human being with certain character flaws. But despite and some times because of these character flaws I love him. I know he is going to sometimes make me angry, I know we will have disagreements, but I still can love him despite that. That does not make it false, it makes it real.

When I got my first garden, I bought a beautiful little plant and stuck it into the ground.......after a while, it died and I had no idea why it died, but I replaced it with a different plant.

Years later, I realized that I'd never bothered to find out what kind of earth or fertilizer or light, the beautiful little plant that died, had needed. So I decided that

LOVE = CARING

Caring enough, to get yourself to find out who the other person is..... what they need and want......how it can be provided......what makes them smile - what makes them sad - what makes them laugh or cry......

Ahhh, post after post that I like. I don't remember the topic subject, just now picked up on an update right here and have to go back and read earlier posts, but these last two stand without reference post as wise.

(Hoping I don't have to eat my words when I check back...)

edit to say, I should really reread the whole topic... gee, true love?

My ex and I, a known happy couple within our friends, were asked by the director-of-his-play's wife, she writing a paper for some graduate class, if we would be interviewed on what made us tick, as we were the happiest couple she knew. I said no, I didn't want to analyze it. Truth be told, I don't always want to analyze things, perhaps in fear. Although if it was fear in that instance, it was slight. I just thought we had a pastry going and didn't want to describe it all for a class paper. Maybe instead of fearing, I was just a snob.

On review, I have a bit of trouble refuting ebrown on all this, but yet, yet...

Among my first truisms that I got from somewhere, maybe Thomas Acquinas, who knows who else - that to love someone is to will good for that person.

I thought that for at least twenty years, it rang true. It still does, but doesn't cover the complexity of loving.

The other truism, that I worked out on my own, is that love is a product. Not in a mechanistic sense, but a product nonetheless. That after the effulgence of delight with the other being who loves you back, or... as not quite an aside, with the eyes of a lover you can't really obtain, who seems to love you back, thus being even more attractive though not at the time for that reason...
After either of those - there comes daily life.

I think real love is a function of, product of daily caring, cushioned by some of that first euphoria. The caring develops; freely caring brings trust and more unguarded being there time. Various turtle like pullbacks happen in real love, real time, but there is this continuous thing where people are connected. Sexual desire flutuates within all that. Sometimes, to complicate things, it can be good in the emotionally withdrawn times.

So I thought all that... that what we call love is an evanescent product that needs to be renewed. I still think that.

After love goes, as it mostly (let us face this) does, it is often wrenched back if only in dreams or pains, but it can be renewed. Too often, I think, it slips away unattended. Quiescent embers can be brought back by care. Sometimes.

Man O.B. - stop bust'in my chops.

I'm a NEWBIE and had a techincal malfunction was all!!!!

eh? samantha, sorry, I don't know what you are referring to..

I had no interest in busting your chops, I didn't notice a post by you...well, except some smilies, and after that that you think a2k is very cool (as do I).

Beg pardon...

Yes. And renewed and renewed...

It's a good job if you can get it.