I have a secret crush on my best friend but my feelings for him is more than just that

You have a point there, and I think you're correct. God I think I was just being crazy over a boy I can't believe how low I've become.

Let things stay as they are going. Easily let go of the feelings telling yourself it is all in your head. If he likes you like that then I'm sure he will let you know. If you're truly in love with him then you will be with him when he does so. If you're not in love by the time he lets you know(if by chance he feels anything toward you) then you won't be with him. Which honestly. I don't believe you're in love. You can't be with what you've mentioned. I believe you're obsessed. My advice is to as I've mentioned.

I secretly think you're a man.

There's obviously feelings there. From both parties. Just not the same. Has a lot to do with maturity levels/beliefs/knowledge/understanding/and so forth.

Take your and his situation. Say he's critical of you because you lack something that should meet his idea of perfection. Then he is the immature individual in this case. You don't deserve someone who will look down on you because you're not his idea of perfection. You deserve better. Don't be critical of yourself putting yourself down because of an infatuation you had.

I have a secret crush on my best friend but my feelings for him is more than just that.

It has been 8 months since I had a crush on him and no one in this world not even he knows that I had a crush on him until now. It all started on my 2nd or 3rd week of college that his get-up caught my attention but since I was so serious on how to fit in to this new environment I never tried to notice him.

On the other hand he seems not to care about my existence (since I’m new and look a lot nerdy) and didn’t even bother giving me a hand when I carried my heavy stuff for our pictorial project during the prelims. But all changed when he started borrowing my notes during the midterms. This was the moment I got to know him as we began talking to each other for the 1st time.

I realized that he was quite an interesting guy we had a lot in common and share the same interests. I got to observe his smile and charm and how his views in life and laidback style contradicts his emo rocker outfit. We’re both artists and musicians. And when he smiled suddenly I realized that he was attractive, and when we departed ways that was the moment I was madly infatuated with him.

We do not always hang out since he’s not the type of guy who religiously attends class he comes and goes as he pleases due to his hectic schedule (he works part-time as a photographer and drummer in a rock band) but when we meet each other he talks to me not minding the other girls in our class.

Though he’s been good friends with my female close friend but when we’re alone together he talks to me a lot and during the 2nd semester when my close friend stopped going to school I'm the only girl he talks to.

We go home together, if I won’t go home yet he won’t go home either and would hangout with me until I decide to go home, except when it’s an emergency. I noticed he is quite a gentleman, he accompanies me home even before leaving for appointment and holds my shoulder when he senses danger and shifts me to a different position, telling me that I’m safer here.

When he texts me he always ends with a “Good morning (afternoon/evening). Hope you had you’re breakfast(lunch/dinner)”. Sometimes he would call me ‘dear’ in his texts like, “You name the place Dear, I’ll try to adjust ” and would add emoticons.

But what confuses (and bothers) me is when I respond to his texts (like a simple good morning, a thank you or a you can do it) that doesn’t concern something important he won’t respond. And most of the time he doesn’t respond to my texts unless it is important or if it is a question.

But it’s interesting and surprising that he replied to my text when I shared my problems to him his response was, “You can tell me and it won’t leak, I promise you this” and he did gave me good advice.

Also when he sees me he approaches and talks to me, he even offered to help me in my project and shared me a yummy snack.

So what worries me is when I’m with him my feelings for him intensifies the longer we hangout together. I was starting to question whether I’m in love with him or not, I was thinking that it was mere infatuation but it has been 8 months already and when he’s not present I always yearn to see him.

He is the reason why I changed my entire appearance, I learned to dress-up, fix my hair and put light make-up and started working out. My friends noticed my physical improvements but my bestfriend seems not to even notice. I feel so depressed about this.

I think I’m in love with him just wanting more attention to him than just a mere friend. In the past I had never been crazy on a guy before and never experienced a crush becoming a best friend. Whenever I had a crush either I avoid that person and find any means to get rid of this feeling. So this is my first time and I’m not good when it comes to crushes and love, I’m more into books, art and videogames. I have no idea.

The question I want to point out is, what is real his feelings for me? Since I have a crush on him and I am a geek with no experience in love my feelings for him tend to go overboard.

My bestfriend may be nice but I feel that there is something behind his being gentlemanly. Maybe it just my imagination or maybe he might um well… I can’t tell.

I hate making conclusions about love. In the end I feel stupid, realizing that this was all an infatuation and since I evaluate using logic than my feelings I always believed that he is just being a gentleman and there is nothing intimate with it. I keep saying this to myself so that I won’t feel bad.

I try to forget him make myself busy with other things and hang out with new good friends. But every time I did my best to resist this stupid feelings whenever I meet him this feelings come back again and there goes the battle between my good judgment and my feelings.

I never talked about intimate stuff to him, serious stuff regarding problems, families and people but not love.

I’m not even sure if he’s in a relationship or has been in a relationship as I do not want to touch those issues knowing that he’s very secretive and I do not want to get hurt either, though when I checked his profile in Facebook he stated that his status is single and he doesn’t talk about having a girlfriend.

I just want to know what is his feelings, he’s a very confusing character it’s very hard to read his thoughts. I do not plan to talk to him about this because I know for sure that it will destroy our friendship plus I find it so awkward to talk about this kind of topic.


Apologies to my long detailed question, above all things anything that concerns romance is above my abilities I can’t fathom nor find the right solutions to overcome this dilemma. I would really appreciate your advice and help. Thank you.

I never talked about intimate stuff to him, serious stuff regarding problems, families and people but not love.

I’m not even sure if he’s in a relationship or has been in a relationship as I do not want to touch those issues knowing that he’s very secretive and I do not want to get hurt either, though when I checked his profile in Facebook he stated that his status is single and he doesn’t talk about having a girlfriend.

I do not plan to talk to him about this because I know for sure that it will destroy our friendship plus I find it so awkward to talk about this kind of topic.

I just want to know what is his feelings,

Hm. Behind my judgment I had this feeling that he does care for me, but only as a friend, somewhat similar to a brother caring for his little sister (though he is 2 years younger than I am but I look younger than him due to my height and childlike appearance and he looks more mature than his actual age). He does have 2 younger siblings with the youngest being a girl who he is overprotective with. Maybe he sees me that way and there is nothing romantic with it. Platonic I presume?