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My fiance broke up with me but hasn't asked for ring back. Advice please!

 
 
Buttermilk
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Apr, 2014 11:22 pm
Everyone please don't give this woman bad advice and tell her to keep the ring. She needs to look at her local state law to see if she can keep it. Certain states have different laws. There are "conditional gift" states and there are "implied gift" states, and "unconditional gift" states.
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Apr, 2014 07:01 am
The laws about engagement rings and gifts are complicated, and they differ from state to state (I should not have typed in haste). But usually it is the party who did not break the engagement who is entitled to retain it. See, it's the consideration in a promise (informal contract) to marry. He is breaking the agreement; she isn't.

If she doesn't want to keep it, she doesn't have to. And he doesn't seem to be dealing with the relationship in any event.
Romeo Fabulini
 
  0  
Reply Mon 28 Apr, 2014 09:25 am
Cases sometimes crop up in Judge Judy when couples split up and the other one sells off (or throws out or gives away) the possessions they've left behind.
Judy says "You can't do that! You should tell the other person to come and get their things!"
However, I seem to remember a couple of cases where the person doesn't come back to collect their things, and after about a year the other person gets rid of them, in which case Judy says something like "the person can therefore be assumed to have abandoned the things, and the other person can get rid of them".
But to cover themselves, the other person should first ALWAYS tell them to come get their things in a phone call, letter, text or email on a certain date and time, and see what they say.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Mon 28 Apr, 2014 02:23 pm
@jespah,
Quote:
But usually it is the party who did not break the engagement who is entitled to retain it.


Sorry in most repeat most states in the US that is just not true as the courts only care that the ring was given under the conditions that a marriage would occur and no matter who broke the engagement the ring go back to the person who purchase it.

Quote:


http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/return-of-the-engagement-ring.html

Ring as a Promise

Unfortunately, a majority of courts find that the gift of an engagement ring contains an implied condition of marriage. That means that until the marriage occurs, the gift isn't final. The courts that view giving of engagement rings this way indicate that only upon the exchange of wedding vows does the donee get to keep the ring. Up until that point the ring is only the donee's on the condition of marriage.

Courts that follow this line of reasoning treat the ring more as a term in an oral contract than as a true gift: the ring becomes the donee’s property on the condition that the marriage is completed. The ring is thus a promise that the donee will marry the donor. If the promise is broken by either party, than the ring remains the property of the donor, regardless of the reasons the promise was broken.

Ring as a Gift

Personal property is considered a gift when three conditions are met:

The donor intends to give the property as a gift.
The donor gives the property to the donee as a gift.
The donee receives and accepts the gift.
A few states believe that once the donor gives the ring to the donee, the ring is a gift and the ring becomes the donee’s property, regardless of what happens later. These states, known as no-fault based states, use the same logic found in no-fault divorce; they do not care who was responsible for the end of the engagement and believe the ring always belongs to the donee after the ring is given.

Ring as an Implied Gift

Some courts follow a middle ground between the two extreme positions by determining which party broke the engagement. These states, known as fault-based states, find it unfair to the donee if the donor breaks off the engagement because the donee was preparing themselves for marriage. The national majority approach is that a donor who breaks off the engagement for a reason that has nothing to do with the donee's behavior cannot recover the ring. Other courts find it unfair for the donee to keep the ring if the donee's wrongdoing or unfaithfulness was the cause of the break up.

What Other Factors Might Influence the Court’s Decision?
Although engagement ring disputes are typically based on fault or no fault, there are a few other factors which may sway a court’s decision:

Family heirloom- If the ring originally belonged in the donor’s family, the donee should return it as the donee no longer intends to join the donee’s family with the donor’s family.
Special occasion – If the ring was given during a special occasion, such as Christmas or a birthday, the ring may be treated like any other gift: the ring belongs to the receiver and has no obligation to return it.
Prenuptial agreements – Prenuptial agreements are contracts made about the division of property before the couple is officially wed. Since the prenuptial agreement is actually a written contract, the agreement will supersede, or replace, the assumptions made from any oral agreements.



0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Apr, 2014 05:29 pm
@maura2424,
He gave you the ring because he believed you were going to get married, not as a gift because he thought you were swell.

If you've decided you don't want to marry him, that's fine but give him back the ring.

Women who keep engagement rings when they break up the engagement are, to put it mildly, morally challenged.

This is a simple matter of equity and has nothing to do with etiquette .

The guy spent more than he had (usually) to give you a ring. Now you dash his dreams and want to him to continue to pay off something that only reminds him of pain?

Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Apr, 2014 05:35 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
I'm sorry, I may have misread your post.

If he broke up your engagement, then by all means keep the ring.

He gave it to you as a symbol of his commitment to you. Once he negated that commitment , he lost any "ownership" of the ring.

Sell it and enjoy, as best you can, what it can buy.

PS: Chance are that such a sh*t didn't spend a whole lot on the ring.
0 Replies
 
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Fri 2 May, 2014 12:49 pm
"[T]he majority of courts also consider such a gift to be a conditional one. That means that, until some future event occurs, the gift isn't final; if that event does not occur, then the donor has the right to get the gift back. In real life, many parents use this concept by, for example, giving a teenage daughter the keys to the family car, on the condition that she maintain a certain grade point average for a specified period of time. If she doesn't make the grade, the keys must be returned."

-- nolo.com
0 Replies
 
 

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