why is he a flake?? help me

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whats wrong with this situation? help?So I met this guy over a year ago January 2013, when we met things were really good we got along really good for about a month and a half than all of a sudden he just disappeared he didn't respond to my text or anything but we continued to be friends on fb I didn't creep on him because I was scared for what I might see. Anyway he contacted me again in November 2013 saying we should hang out, I asked for what he said he wanted to talk so I told him he could come by, he gets there we talk than head to the bar he ended up crashing at my place. We ended up hanging out for a couple weeks than he disappeared again in December than in January he contacted me again saying we really need to talk I said no he insisted that we talk so he came over apologized said he was wrong for flaking and he was just really busy at the time which was different from what he told me last time in November, anyways we talked he called me text me everyday than he disappeared again I guess I don't get it I like to communicate why is this guy flaking so much. He is 26 years old btw so its not like hes some 18 year old boy.. help mee with this situation.

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,037 • Replies: 21

@Oct18thlove,

Who knows?

More importantly - why are you caring about this?

He has proven himself, on more than one occasion, to be utterly unreliable.

So, why are you hanging around with him, again?

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He's a "Peter Pan" - flies in, charming, gets what he wants, cannot commit, then takes off.

Since you keep taking him back, you are co-responsible for all this.

PS - YES - 26 year old guys ARE really 18 emotionally.

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@Oct18thlove,

Simply put, you're getting PLAYED!

Here is one question I want to ask you (that is if you want to) have you guys been intimate?

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@Buttermilk,

Im pregnant with his baby

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@Buttermilk,

Yes im pregnant with his baby it wasn't a planned pregnancy

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@jespah,

I'm pregnant with his baby

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@Oct18thlove,

Oct18thlove wrote:

why is this guy flaking so much. He is 26 years old btw so its not like hes some 18 year old boy.. help mee with this situation.

he's flaking cuz he's a flake

26 doesn't mean maturity

we can't help you

you hooked up with a flake and now you're going to deal with the results

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Is it possible hes afraid of Something? Yes I understand he might be playing games but for you guys why would you flake and keep coming back?

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@Oct18thlove,

So the rabbit hole goes deeper (no pun intended)

Second question:

Does he know you're pregnant?

1 Reply

@Buttermilk,

Yes he knows he comes to the appointments but its very awkward, because of his actions I don't expect much from him I will take on this responsibility with or without him

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@Oct18thlove,

Well, in any case I think you're answering your own question. You asked "why is he a flake?"

Well, without knowing the man but based on what you're saying here it is quite obvious, HE IS IRRESPONSIBLE! The fact that he cannot do basic communication with you like a text or what-not demonstrates his unwillingness to communicate and I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes uninvolved in this child's life after it's born.

I also think you made a poor choice in picking a mate and grant it nobody knows the hands we are delt, but it seems that this guy was not a suitable partner for you. My best advice to you is stop worrying because your main focus ought to be on the baby and not wonder about why he is flaking. Let him contact you and when he does, the basis of your discussion should be about what you both are going to do about the baby.

If he continues to flake, child support will make sure he wont flake!

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@Oct18thlove,

Then take him to court.

I ain't kiddin'.

Screw how nice or not so nice that is. This guy is irresponsible and it is going to stop being adorably awkward when your child needs shoes or food and he has skipped town.

Do it now, get these ducks lined up. Don't be the person who goes along to get along, just because playing hardball makes them squeamish. A hungry child is a much harder thing to take than pushing an irresponsible kid to take responsibility for his actions.

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@jespah,

Had to thumbs you up because I totally agree. Sounds like this guy has more excuses than a guy going to prison.

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@Oct18thlove,

Oct18thlove wrote:

I will take on this responsibility with or without him

well yeah you'll be responsible but you'd better make sure you've got the child support side of this locked up asap - connect with a lawyer, make sure everything is set up now to make sure the child is cared for

you can sort out why you hooked up with a flake at some other time

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@Buttermilk,

Thank you and I do agree with you, I asked the question just to maybe try to understand why he would be that way and I think your answer was right on. I don't want to be with him at all I just worry about my baby, it was a complete accident how I got pregnant but im not going to be mad at myself because the baby is a blessing, oh boy yes I wish it wasn't him but it is what it is. My other worry is that his family doesn't no the full story about everything my baby will be biracial and im not sure how accepting they will be about that I want my baby to know its grandparents but I don't even no them from what I no they haven't reached out to me about the situation but he says they no im pregnant, hes close with his family because he stil lives at home.

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I've been debating about the child support thing

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@Oct18thlove,

Well whether they accept the child or not is their loss. We all make mistakes and unfortunately some of us make mistakes to where it brings another life in this world. Point is keep your head up! It's unfortunate men like that upset me because I want to have a child and sounds like this man isn't emotionally invested in having one.

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@Buttermilk,

Thank you for being kind! I guess I'll see how this plays out with him.

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@Oct18thlove,

Depending on the jurisdiction you live in, it may not something to 'debate'.

Do you know if he has any other children?

1 Reply

why is he a flake?? help me

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