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So my crush got yet another boyfriend.... I an angry with myself, what now?

 
 
Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 03:28 pm
Its a long story, but i was already worried about my crush going back to her ex, and now she is broken up with him and has another boyfriend. She used to show many signs that she liked me, but i was too shy to ask her out so she went back to her ex and now she is broken up with him and is with someone else. Note that she was keeping distant from me when she was with the first dude and still is. I wrote her a letter explaining how i felt about her and that keeping distant bothers me. She still wants to be friends, but i'm not really sure if i could handle being friends with someone i am in love with. I feel so ridiculous and weak right now Sad i just can't seem to get my mind off of this. I Wish i could fix things, i wish i was never shy, Is there really anything i could ever hope to do? I know moving on sounds like the right choice but for some reason i just don't.... feel like i can do that. I am so stuck on her. I was also mocked by her new boyfriend that i was too shy, making me look like a punk. He is my friend and we are cool and all, and i want it to stay that way, so i don't hold a grudge against him, but i am jealous.
 
jespah
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 03:39 pm
@Patrick454,
Go out and talk to people. Old people, young people. Female people, male people. People walking their dogs, bagging your groceries, standing behind you in line, waiting for the bus, whatever.

Start making small talk. And by that I mean small. "Gee, weird weather we've been having." or "Did you catch the game last night?"

I know it sounds dumb but this will help with shyness. When conversations don't have a lot of pressure, when they aren't fraught with meaning, they get easier. All conversations get easier, even the important ones with crush-type people.

As for her, don't sit at home and don't pine.

You're too busy saying good morning to the guy who pumped your gas or thanking the bus boy at your favorite restaurant.

PS I think her new boyfriend's a douche for making fun of you, but if you're cool with it ....
Joe Nation
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 04:08 pm
The present population of Earth is seven billion, 500 million individual humans.
Remove yourself from the ex (who sounds like the headcase from hell) and her bully new boytoy (who won't be by Christmas.)
Find yourself some new people to hang out with besides those losers.
Don't even expend the energy to explain to them where you are going. (They will ask you. Believe me, they will call you because they won't believe you have it in you to move on. You can just hang up on them, or better, block them off your phone. (That's why the phone company put BLOCK on your phone, right?)

Move out to the clearer air. There's a bunch of cuties waiting out there.

Joe(send updates)Nation
0 Replies
 
Patrick454
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 04:31 pm
@jespah,
Ok so i should go and talk with others, but there is something i am still curious about. Should i stay friends with her like she suggested or just forget her and not talk to her?
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 04:58 pm
She has TOLD you that you are a friend. That means you are in the "friend zone" and are not going to get involved with her any more than that. She's been honest with you. What more can you expect from a FRIEND?

Find someone else, if you want a GF. Get up the courage to find another gal.
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jespah
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 05:02 pm
@Patrick454,
If she's complicit in her boyfriend treating you like ****, that should tell you something.
Patrick454
 
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Reply Fri 18 Apr, 2014 05:11 pm
@jespah,
no he didn't treat me like ****, and she wasn't even there when he said it
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