I'm no match to my finances ex boyfriend

Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 01:09 am
To give you some brief background, my fiancee and I have been together for six years. Engaged for 6 months of those six years. 2 years in our relationship my "girlfriend" at the time of course was acting incredibly strange towards me which lead me to suspicions of her cheating. It took a year of us arguing and constantly breaking up before really breaking up a month before our third year anniversary.

So like every other break up, we stayed in contact. And a few days later I asked her if we could be together again. She tells me her soon to be boyfriend wouldn't like that. So I'll be completely honest, I did everything in my power that I possibly could to get her back. In the beginning of their relationship, she FINALLY admitted to cheating on me numerous times with numerous men a year prior to our break up, but she only told me this so I would leave her alone (I admit that I was practically begging her to get back with me) 5 months later I finally succeeded.

We got back together but for the first three months she hid this fact from him. (They had classes together) I had yo drop her off from school 2 blocks away, none of our pictures were on Facebook, our statuses were set to single, she assured me that she just didn't wanna make it seem like she hopped from one guy to the next and didn't want to break his heart. (She couldn't have had the same concern for me?)

So 3 months later we make everything official, but her ex was CONSTANTLY brought up by comparisons and such, ie sex, emotional support, social status, everything. You name it, he was superior to me. Fast forward three years later and these "blatant" comparisons just stopped about two months ago.

Now when she criticises me, I automatically assumethat she's making a reference to her ex. she's been sweet as ever for the first two months of our engagement. Now she criticises me on everything and tells me she "deserves better and that she's a beautiful woman who can get any man she wants and they would be happy to have her".

I'm currently working towards my associates, though she already has one and is getting her bachelor's she says I'm not h her equal and she'd be better off with someone who was (her ex).

You peopsince getting back with her, her ex has been a major subject of our relationship and it sucks. I've grown jealous of him which is not like me and I hate myself for it. It sucks because I honestly am starting to regret my decision in fighting to get her back from him. On the flip side she is my absolute best friend and we spend every waking moment together, and I mean she even plays call of duty with me, and is good at it! To some degree she's awesome but I don't know if I can go on knowing she regrets leaving him for me and I feel that she always will. Thanks.
bobsal u1553115
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 07:30 am
Your finances ex boyfriend? Keeping up with the DowJoneses are you?
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Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 08:01 am
She plays Call of Duty with you?


Now THAT's reason enough to put up with the cheating, humiliation and chronic drama!
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Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 01:37 pm
Now she criticises me on everything and tells me she "deserves better and that she's a beautiful woman who can get any man she wants and they would be happy to have her".
So break off the engagement and tell her to go find some other man who would be happy to have her.

You're seriously still planning on marrying her?
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Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 04:55 pm
You need to find out who you are first. Don't go by what some sweet tart tells you. You'd be surprised at what you really are at the end of the day...and what really matters. It takes time. Drop the egotistcal, shallow idiot...there are many intelligent people , who are not shallow... Who even knows at the end of the day...you may have more goods...not saying that makes you better. Have some self-respect...,you're dealing with a broad who's as tacky as they come.
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Reply Mon 21 Apr, 2014 05:54 pm
Man, this sounds familiar. Uncanny in fact!!

I split up with my boyfriend before university (after a one year beautiful relationship) as I could see we were headed in different directions. He didn't believe in education and even at times ridiculed me for going to a top university.

I spent a year working on the trading floor of a top investment bank before university he has no education and didn't even accompany me to work dinners as he said the setting was full of 'tossers'. More to this he in fact had the ex girlfriend that I to this day believe he is still in love with.

I ended it because it's unfair on us both to drag things on. Especially if we are to end up resenting one another for different reasons and pulling on one another's insecurities.

I can gladly say that it worked out that way. I am now dating somebody that always liked me at my old company (2 years older) and majored in the same degree as me, has lots in common with me. Somebody that is as proud and happy to be with me as I am him.

If you love this person enough you need to tell them how they make you feel. Equally you need to be selfish and think about what is best for you in the long haul. A marriage is a big life decision.

Good luck
Reply Tue 22 Apr, 2014 08:44 am
That's about right. At the end of the day, there are numerous opportunities . Don't force it. At the end of the day...you're what you are. Might as well find a better match.. Have the courage, you're worth it. Don't be a martyr...in the end you'll just be left behind...or severely disappointed if you don't choose to be you
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