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How do you break up another person relationship up ?

 
 
slesiuk
 
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 05:12 pm
How do you break up another person relationship ?
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,180 • Replies: 10
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Krumple
 
  2  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 05:14 pm
@slesiuk,
slesiuk wrote:

How do you break up another person relationship ?


You don't. It shouldn't be any of your business. Not even if you are a family member to the person you want to break up their relationship. It is not up to you.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 06:47 pm
@slesiuk,
Same way I broke other person relationship up.
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 07:04 pm
@Krumple,
That may not be correct - the other person could be :

- either a family member or close friend; and

- may be the victim of severe domestic violence

Wouldn't any caring person wish such a person to leave the relationship?

Then I would say there are degrees of that.

But if you just want to bust up a relationship so that you can grab one half of that relationship...
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 08:03 pm
@vikorr,
vikorr wrote:

That may not be correct - the other person could be :

- either a family member or close friend; and

- may be the victim of severe domestic violence

Wouldn't any caring person wish such a person to leave the relationship?

Then I would say there are degrees of that.

But if you just want to bust up a relationship so that you can grab one half of that relationship...


If you try to break up two people because one person is abusive, it will never work. Because the person who you are trying to save may still want to be with their abuser. Until that person realizes that other person is not good for them, they will want to stay and no amount of trying to break them up will work. It may in fact cause more problems.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 09:13 pm
@Krumple,
Quote:
Until that person realizes that other person is not good for them, they will want to stay and no amount of trying to break them up will work.
This is the case in most, not all such relationships.

And isn't the way to break up such a relationship to help the abused realise the abuser is no good for them...and provide them the support to leave.

By your statement, domestic violence shelters would never exist.
Krumple
 
  2  
Reply Sun 30 Mar, 2014 10:26 pm
@vikorr,
vikorr wrote:

Quote:
Until that person realizes that other person is not good for them, they will want to stay and no amount of trying to break them up will work.
This is the case in most, not all such relationships.

And isn't the way to break up such a relationship to help the abused realise the abuser is no good for them...and provide them the support to leave.

By your statement, domestic violence shelters would never exist.



Domestic violence shelters are not in the business of breaking up relationships. They are there to provide a place for a person who has decided to leave but have no where to go.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 Mar, 2014 01:06 am
@Krumple,
And if they didn't have anywhere to go, they'd stay...hence when the abused has decided to leave, the actual effect of those shelters (where they've decided to leave) is assistance in breaking up.

Why don't you face up to the fact that you just didn't think of Domestic Violence when you gave your original advice? It's really not a big issue.

Quite frankly, all this back and forth since appears to be you trying to cover your initial oversight...for it provides no benefit to the OP's question.

He/she also hasn't provided any further response, so who can tell the motive behind the question.
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 Mar, 2014 01:51 am
@vikorr,
vikorr wrote:
Why don't you face up to the fact that you just didn't think of Domestic Violence when you gave your original advice? It's really not a big issue.


Because I stand by what I said. You shouldn't get involved by trying to break them up. It will never work. The person will go back. They have to decide on their own that the relationship is not healthy for them. NO amount of trying to break them up will work.
97watkinsj1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 Mar, 2014 04:59 am
@Krumple,
you dont its got nothing to do wiht you even if its your best mate you still dont do it becuase if theyre happy leave them to it
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vikorr
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Mon 31 Mar, 2014 05:06 am
@Krumple,
That is not what you said.

What you said was:

Quote:
You don't.

- It shouldn't be any of your business.

- Not even if you are a family member to the person you want to break up their relationship. It is not up to you.


Now your reasoning is all well and good (certain aspects of it even holds to true for most, but not all situations)...yet the simple fact is, any person who has a family member suffering domestic abuse has every right to try and get their loved one away from the abuser...

...but your statement equates to it's none of your business'.

This is where you've been backtracking from and trying to cover up. Why? It's obviously simply an oversight. So it's not a big deal unless you make it so.

----------------------------------

As an aside, I don't buy the 'it's hopeless' horse, at the school of 'so you shouldn't even try'.
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