I'm having an affair, what does he really think of me?

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I have known this married man for 2 years. He invited me round to his house for a coffee one morning. It was a quick visit as I had things to do. We had a chat and a laugh. That night he text me to thank me for going to visit him earlier and as I rushed away asked me to go back again. We texted for most of the night and there was a lot of flirting going on. I went back over the next day and we talked about how we both have really liked each other for some time. He sat beside me and we kissed which then lead onto other tame things.
From then we texted a lot each day. He would send me the most texts and would type things like "just to let you know I'm thinking about you". It was very flattering as I never thought for a minute we would get together. We texted often throughout the day for months. We met up as often as we could.
He recently got promoted and is working varied shifts. I still get a morning text each morning and maybe the odd one through the day and at night but its gone from 20+ texts to about 5 a day. Cos he's up early he goes to bed early. His texts used to be so lovely and he'd tell me how beautiful I was and he's sure I will snap up a new man within no time. We also used to tease each other in texts. I fell for him big time although knew there was no chance he would be mine. We still text but not as much as before. We still meet up when we can. I can see a big change in his texts and when I mentioned I thought he was loosing interest in me he said no way, why did I think that. It's all good. He'll never get fed up with me. He is so kind and nice to me when we meet and looks at me often, compliments me, holds my hand, feels relaxed, but I miss the texts we used to send. They seem boring now and not as fun. I'm wondering why he's like this. Like he's hot and cold. I'm obsessed with him and can't get him outta my mind. Some days I get loads of texts. Other days he phones me. other days I get about 4 texts. I used to get <3 and xxx after texts but i dint get them as often now. I don't understand why. He reckons he's not lost interest. Part of me thinks yes part thinks no.
It started in November 2013.

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He really thinks he's banging you, what'ya think he thinks?

1 Reply

@Crazeebabey,

He thinks about you less and less. Get a life with people who actually care about you, and stop moping around like a lovesick teen because you don't receive as many texts from another woman's husband as you used to. Would you want to be in his wife's place?

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@Crazeebabey,

Are you really sure you want to ask what he really thinks of you?

Don't forget that he is :
- untrustworthy
- has an ego
- likes straying
- enjoys the conquest...apparently when it suits him
- etc. etc etc.

A guy like this will have a warped view of women.

Now what you are showing :
- you're untrustworthy
- prepared to accept invitations where there's temptation
- can't keep yourself away from 'danger'
- etc

Given his warped view of women, are you sure you want to know what he really thinks of you?

20years ago, 90% relationships that start started as affairs ended within 10years (if I remember 60% within 2). These days the percentage would be quite a degree higher.

No one ever fully trusts cheaters again. It's a price you should be aware you may have to pay whenever you choose to engage in such.

Relationships without trust never quite reach their potential, and are never truly as happy.

1 Reply

@vikorr,

Thanks vikorr.
I am 36 he is 54 and it just happened. He is a quiet man and I just think there as been an attraction since we first met 2 years ago. I don't believe he has strayed before ad I ave never been involved with a married man before. I know is wrong but I ended my 16 year relationship with my fiancé over a year ago and getting the attention from this man has been lovely. It's helped me cope better with my situation but I'm confused now wondering why he isn't as chatty. Is it cause he can't as he's working, is it cause the fun bit has worn off? I still see him at any opertunity we have at least once a week. He is still so nice to me and says nice things to me. I know I'm so wrong doing what I'm doing but just looking for advice. :'(

3 Replies

@bobsal u1553115,

What's banging? :-(

1 Reply

@Crazeebabey,

Quote:

I know I'm so wrong doing what I'm doing but just looking for advice.

So here is my advice. Stop seeing a married man. He is not yours. He belongs to another woman. If it was your husband seeing another woman, you would be on here bitching about the other woman and calling her all sorts of names. So why would you even thing about continuing a relationship with him and being the other woman?

I just don't get women sometimes. If her husband sleeps with another woman, that woman is a slutty bitch. But it is a-ok if poster is sleeping with someone else's husband.

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@Crazeebabey,

google it.

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@Crazeebabey,

You aren't even having an actual affair, and I bet he is texting and complimenting women that he is now meeting at different times on his new work schedule. For Christ's sake, make some new friends and stop feeding this guys ego. He gets to tell himself how irresistible he is to younger women, and you get to waste your time. Don't be a sap.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

Thanks for all the comments/advice etc. my question was answered this morning when he sent a message to tell me I am a beautiful lady, very fun and happy but he has been fighting with stress and guilt recently. He claims he was beginning to haves strong feelings for me but felt guilty at the same time. He enjoyed the times we spent together but feels he needs to end the fling. He wants to remain friends though.
I'm glad this has happened sooner rather than later as I was getting so confused with the mixed messages. One minute he was "all over me" next minute he was dry with me. I am upset but just need to keep myself busy and find a guy that really appreciates me for me and can be with me when I want. I am now feeling used and annoyed with myself as this has been totally out of character for me but its experience, one which I won't repeat again. I know his wife and I must say its been very awkward when I have seen her too.
I am just needing someone to remind me how stupid I was in the first place and to give me some advice how I can get over this and how I should act when I see him. We meet up in a group every month. Please help..... Thank again for all your comments and taking the time to reply. Some have been harsh but very true.

1 Reply

@Crazeebabey,

Crazeebabey wrote:

...
I am just needing someone to remind me how stupid I was in the first place and to give me some advice how I can get over this and how I should act when I see him. We meet up in a group every month. Please help..... Thank again for all your comments and taking the time to reply. Some have been harsh but very true.

Don't go to the group meeting. You have a headache. Your cousin's parakeet died. You got a job and have to work then. Whatever.

Stay away, delete his contact info and do other things. Going back to being pals is highly unlikely to happen without causing confusion or hurt (or the affair starting right back up again).

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@Crazeebabey,

You are 20 years younger than him. I'm sure that he is loving your attention. But he is married. You should find some one who is free to love you. Don't sell your self short. You are worth loving. Value your self. Get rid of this guy. Life is short.

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@Crazeebabey,

Relationship with others after marriage was a risky job try to avoid such type of thing or else to be ready for break with your partner.

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@Crazeebabey,

First of all do you know that texts and phone numbers can show up on a phone bill. If either of you are married great way to get caught. Second, get out of it now. I got into an A and it appears now I've been dumped which I'll be posting about soon cause I'm very upset. As for hat he really thinks of you? Want it straight. You're a play toy. A side dish. Sounds harsh but it's true.

0 Replies

@Crazeebabey,

Yep honey. Men don't leave their wives and families for toys, unless he's super rich, or has been divorced before... But then just think, you'll be the next broken heart in line... Haven't you wasted enough of YOUR precious time with him? Isn't time YOU live YOUR life the way YOU want it?

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I'm having an affair, what does he really think of me?

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