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How To Find Someone To Unpack A House In Illinois

 
 
Reply Tue 25 Mar, 2014 05:47 pm
My sister lives a thousand miles away in Illinois and takes care of an elderly person in their house who is wheelchair bound. This has gone on for decades. Our parents have died over here the last few years and she was executor and conservator, which is emotionally taxing and she is now somewhat frazzled emotionally. The doctor has her on some meds for anxiety and they seem to help a little, judging by our phone conversations. Over the course of the last few years her house has accumulated so much stuff that she can't move around too well. Apparently things are in plastic bins and she apparently feels that a lot of the stuff is too heavy.

Personally, I think a lot of it is emotional and she is somewhat exaggerating the hopelessness of the situation, that what she needs is someone to at least help her get started and things will begin to fall into place. It's not that convenient for me to get out there, what I need is a recommendation as to how she should go about finding someone to help her clean up.

She called up a junk removal place but they want you to show them what to move out. Apparently what she wants to go is all mixed in with stuff she wants to keep. When I talk to her on the phone, it falls into a game of me saying "Try this..." and her saying "No, we can't do that because..." several times. It's a case that she doesn't have enough room to move stuff around so she can sort things, she needs a helper to do that.

I think I can go out there if it comes to the last straw, I'd have to stay in a motel because she has no room. I was just wondering if anybody has any suggestions as to how to go about finding someone to help my sister move stuff around the house and get a lot of things out of there. I'm really not looking forward to going out there to do this, but I guess I will if there is absolutely no alternative. Any suggestions for an alternative are extremely welcome.
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Mar, 2014 05:58 pm
@Blickers,
Quote:
. I was just wondering if anybody has any suggestions as to how to go about finding someone to help my sister move stuff around the house and get a lot of things out of there. I'm really not looking forward to going out there to do this, but I guess I will if there is absolutely no alternative.


Anything of value will be removed, for sure. I would not want to play any part in your sisters victimization, why dont you do her a solid and go help her out.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Mar, 2014 06:55 pm
@hawkeye10,
I am tending to agree with Hawkeye on this. Actually doing it would take some thinking beforehand on how to have it not go on and on endlessly, but be efficient in getting started, while not sending her up the wall re stuff she isn't ready to get rid of. That'll take patience. So - different kinds of piles - out out out, not ready to put out yet (move to side place), and want to keep for quite a while.

I know from my own doing of all this in my own house, that I transition from not being able to part with something (never mind the reasons) to being able to, not too long later. It's a process.

Plus the sister could probably use a big hug.

I pack my to go stuff up in boxes and call the Habitat for Humanity and their truck will come by to get them. There are likely plenty of places that would do that.

Putting items on consignment or selling on ebay (etc) is possible but time consuming. Having a garage sale - if she can have help with it. Craig's list, might be non trustworthy types show up, hard on a harried person.

Does your sister have friends?

0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 02:27 pm
Are you taking about a hoarder situation here?
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:09 pm
@PUNKEY,
Punkey: Not sure. She keeps on saying things like, "There is not one inch of clear space for me to put something down on" and similar. I've never been over to her place, she always came to visit the family home here, so I don't know. I suspect things are not as bad as she describes them, but it is clear it is a source of unrelenting frustration for her.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:13 pm
@Blickers,
I think you have to go out there and see what's up. She seems overwhelmed.

If you are dealing with a hoarding situation, you are going to need professional help. Get some numbers BEFORE you travel all the way out there. (like Senior Center social workers, or at least a referral)

Good luck


hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:18 pm
@PUNKEY,
If this is a hoarder no more than two garbage bags a leaving no matter what she tells sis over the phone now........
0 Replies
 
Blickers
 
  1  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:18 pm
Hawkeye and Ossobucco:

Thanks for responding. There are a few issues that impinge on the situation from my end. My upper back is not in good shape, lifting heavy things above my shoulders can cause a lot of pain in the back for days. Lifting things up to my chest or so is no problem. My legs and groin have gotten strained lately, (too much too soon on our community center's elliptical workout machine), but they are slowly coming around. So my going out there is something of a last resort.

I can lift heavy things as long as I don't have to go over shoulder height. Getting down on the ground and twisting is similarly hard. Bottom line, I think I can be useful to my sister and able to move the things she needs moving, but I am far from the ideal helper. But if she can't get anyone else, I will go out there, I won't let this issue continue to ruin her emotional equilibrium.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:45 pm
@Blickers,
Houses rarely/never get full of crap for physical reasons, living in squalor comes from emotional/mental reasons.

My mom was a hoarder....you would not believe some of the excuses she came up with over the years. upon her death almost all of it went to the dump, but nothing was leaving till she did.

My bet is that sis has calculated that you will not show up.
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  3  
Reply Wed 26 Mar, 2014 09:50 pm
@Blickers,
The several times I have had to move myself without help, I rented trucks, equipment and hired men on the uhaul rental website to help me load the truck. The last time was a move out of state after major surgery and I also had to have them pack, drive some furniture to Goodwill, load the truck and then do a thorough cleaning of the apartment so I could get all my deposit back. All I had to do was sit in a chair and tell them which things to pack for the move, which things to pack for Goodwill and which things to take to the dumpster.

It took 2 men all day, walking things and furniture down a flight of stairs and cost less than the cleaning deposit that was eventually returned to me. All I had to do was get in the truck and drive it.


You could probably do the same thing where your sister lives and it won't require you doing a lot of heavy lifting, just a lot of heavy hand holding and support for your sister.
0 Replies
 
 

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