Reply
Fri 21 Mar, 2014 10:23 pm
Oh gosh, I'm so confused. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years in less than a month. His hints and how he's acting sort of points to him proposing. He's said things such as, "I feel were passed dating, but like whats after-well, engagement" and stared at me, and I laughed because I had no idea how to react. He keeps hinting that its expensive, and when his hints were all, 'i have an idea of what you might like, but i may change my mind' with this smirk, we went to his room and he made me a 'joke' ring out of tin foil. Conveniently. We also always have a limit to our gifts and this time, he doesn't want one? He says, "you can use it every day if you choose to" and "it'll last forever" and he always has this smirk on his face, kind of like if he knows something I don't. I've known him for so long, I know when something is off. Oh, the perks of being a girl. If he doesn't ask, he doesn't, but I kind of hope he will. There's more but I don't want to ramble. Oh gosh. Is he?
@Blondie8,
perhaps you should take the time at this point to learn how to openly communicate and both of you put your cards on the table and not make jokes and have there be a serious air about the discussion. Are you both realistically having a plan or on your ways as to where you want to be as far as college or jobs, etc.? In order for you both to be engaged, is there something blocking him or you? Do you trust one other?
You know if you both want to be engaged, you don't have to set a date, but having realistic discussions might be in order - or at least have pre-discussion with no jokes. This is a matter of maturity and being on the same page.
@Blondie8,
You're a man pretending to be a woman.
@PUNKEY,
We are 20. We would not get married for a few years and I would be okay with that.
@Ragman,
You are right. Half a year ago he was very scared about the topic, which makes me really doubt it happening. But recently he keeps talking about our future, moving in in the summer, even kids! It may just be his way of seeing how I would react to the topic now ( him joking ) BUT you are right, we should have a serious talk. We do trust one another, I am very lucky. He wasn't ready last time we talked about it, which I understood, but months later, it seems he is. I guess we will have to see. Thanks so much for your reply.
Just TELL him, "it sounds to me like you've been dropping hints about getting engaged. Are you? are you serious? It HAS been five years, after all."
@MontereyJack,
Hahaha I feel like if I do that, I would scare him off. If I wouldn't, I would at least ruin his 'surprise' if it is that. People tell me to maybe bring it up after the day if it's not what I get and say, "so. i thought you were going to propose." but I'll feel like a fool. I'll know in a few weeks.
@Blondie8,
While this drama is going on, enjoy your together time and your young love. High expectations can be a roller coaster, but not clearing the air can lead one or the other party. Especially if there's the potential of a commitment-phobic person, though I'm not saying he is one (or isn't).
@Ragman,
I definitely will. I just definitely think too much, and I know he is scared of marriage because of all the divorcees around him. I mean, both our parents got divorced. He emphasizes how much he wants to be with me and 'knows what i want for our anniversary' with a big smile. Until then, I'll enjoy us, and even if he doesn't ask, there's nothing wrong with it. Thanks!
@Blondie8,
you got your head and heart connected well. I'm rooting for the both of you. You got plenty of time. Especially seeing that it sounds as though you've both got a solid foundation - even if your respective team of parents didn't. It doesn't doom you guys to such sad endings. Just keep those two-way intimate conversations about your feelings going but have fun in between.
@Ragman,
Haha the funny thing, his stepdad is saying things like, 'isn't it your guys' time soon?' and my mom got MARRIED at 20...I still would not. Yeah, thank you haha I'm rooting for us too. High school sweethearts can still work.
@Blondie8,
Absolutely. And keeping outside pressures at arm's length and from creeping into your heads is a good idea, too.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace