Jenaia said:@RF- please give more examples, that one was a hoot!
Ok you asked for it..
Like I said, I sometimes used to stay overnight at "Bacon Womans", sleeping downstairs on the couch, and one night gone midnight I had to poo, so I crept quietly up the stairs to the toilet, but nothing would come out, just a series of notes on different octaves like the final scene in Close Encounters!
(That always happens when you're trying to krap quietly so's not to wake anybody)
So I crept back downstairs, quietly unlocked the back door and went out to do it in her dustbin. Problem was, it was a wheely bin about 4 feet high, so I had to open the lid and clamber halfway up her garden fence so that I could hang my ass over it and let gravity take over.
At one point her cat wandered past, took one look at me perched up there like a chimp in a tree and bolted in terror!
Next day Bacon Woman asked me if i'd had a good night and asked "Did you hear anything during the night?" and i replied all wide-eyed and innocent- "No not a thing"
Later she gave me some funny looks, perhaps she'd noticed the bin contained certain out-of-place contents..