Reply
Wed 21 Apr, 2004 11:52 am
>
>Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I
would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
>-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss U.S.A. contest.
>
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>"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not
with all those flies and death and stuff."
>-- Mariah Carey, singer
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>
>"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part
of your life,"
>-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for the
>Federal Anti-smoking Campaign.
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>
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball Forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"
-- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We
are the President."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it,"
-- A U.S. congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Danny Ozark, manager of Philadelphia Phillies
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
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" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or
another"
-- George W. Bush, U.S. President
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-- former president of American Motors, Lee Iacocca
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"I was provided with additional input that was radically different
from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-- Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- former U.S.. President Bill Clinton,
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- former U.S. Vice President Al Gore
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-- Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992, because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-- State Department of Social Services,Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
I thought the pollution quote was attributed to Bush...oh well, no difference
This one fits here as well.
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-
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico...
But as we know... the great ship did not make it to New York... The ship hit an iceberg and sank... and the cargo was forever lost...
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery... were disconsolate at the loss...
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day...
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th... and is known...of course...
as "Sinko de Mayo"