Girlfriend of 8 years tells me she cheated 4 years ago..

Welcome Notsure.
Great post cause you're right; it's insecurity that won't let him let go of this little indiscretion.

And you're right: she's a keeper; a gal with a conscience and morals.
Maybe he doesn't deserve her?

PS A little tip Notsure. Try to use spaces and paragraphs, it makes reading your posts easier.

I certainly agree that this a small smudge on her character. The fact the she brought it up to clear things up means something to me. It means she is ready to develop a better relationship. Everyone lies. It's natural for humans to protect themselves from embarrassment. After all she 'made out', Not like making a porn film. Forgiveness is a positive character trait. If you want to move on, do so. But not for this reason.

It means that she does not have the wisdom
of another girl who keeps her mouth shut.


I hope that she is safe from this fellow.

I've had this happen to me before, but it was my close friend she cheated on me with. It's not easy to go through, and the breaking down of trust is the worst part. But if it's only a make out, I wouldn't worry. She did come and tell you in the end anyway, and clearly feels guilty about it, so at least you know she doesn't think it's ok to cheat now. If she did, you would have never known and she'd still be doing it. Trust may suffer for a while, but I think 8 years is a lot to throw away over a kiss. One thing I would maybe consider is that if you don't address this trust issue head on then it will eat away at the relationship and kill it in the end.

Welcome to A2K think.
That's some pretty good advice

Pfft-HAHAHAHA!! XD

So far I got this:
1. you've been with this girl for 8 years
2. you have a house, dog and car with her
3. 4 years ago, she kissed some guy
4. So you want to break up with her

I understand she lied, but she was a college chick. It's an age where you experiment, get drunk, and make mistakes

Don't feel like a chump. Just get over it. She said she was sorry, that it didn't mean anything, and that she only loves you. What more can you ask for? She can't turn back time.

Couples go through more serious issues than that. However, if you don't love her enough to forgive her, let her go. It's better than holding it over her head for the rest of her life and making her suffer.

Reminds me of the movie Valentines Day. The couple is Estelle and Edgar. They've been together for a long time and Estelle reveals to Edgar that long ago, she slept with his friend.

Here's the clip:
http://youtu.be/Eg_F2E2yycg

He forgives her, by the way. This is how it goes down:

Estelle: Listen to me, I know I let you down, and maybe you don't think I deserve your forgiveness, but you're gonna give it to me anyway. Because when you love someone you love all of them, that's the job.

Edgar: I know that now.

Estelle: I'm so sorry, and now please you gotta love everything about them not just the good things but the bad things too, the things that you find loveable and the things you don't find loveable

Edgar: Shh... shh... I understand, I'll never leave you.
(Kiss)

HOW MUCH temptation woud it have required
for YOU to have done the same thing then or tomorrow???

Great post PL. spot on.