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NEW HUSBAND AND GROWN SON DO NOT GET ALONG

 
 
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 03:42 pm
My son and new husband do not get along. My son is 31 years old and lives at home because after graduating with his masters degree he still can’t find gainful employment. He is working at Shoprite and he pays me rent, his own phone bill and gives money for food and the utilities. My husband in the past has put his hands on me and has a bad temper and my son and daughter really don’t like him. He has gone into counseling and has started studying the Bible and has changed a great deal. However, I do believe my husband is very jealous of my son because he did not finish H.S. and my son has his Masters. My son is nothing but polite and very respectful towards my husband and yet my husband still has issues with my son. He harps on petty things and I’m getting really sick of it. Help?!!
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 04:29 pm
@LeonaBanks,
And...4 years later...I can hear the crack-ing of the ice on the pond.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 04:38 pm
@LeonaBanks,
A "new" husband and wife in my opinion should live together when children are grown, on their own and experience new marriage. It could be that on your husbands side of things, a third party in the home of mature age is bugging him.

I would say that on your son's point of view he knows your husband hit you, has a bad temper, can't work out what you found attractive about a personality like that, cares for his Mother and seriously, as a child I would not like the guy either, who would? Isn't blood thicker than water, especially when any form of abuse is concerned?

Sounds to me that you realise what you married, hoping that the Bible will help change him but people don't change. Not quickly, and only if they want to not because someone else wants them to.

It also forgive me, sounds as if you are proud of your Son "and you should be" but put your husband down of non achievement in life. It has to be that way, or you wouldn't see that as the reason why they don't get along.

It sounds as if you are justifying "why" he is bad tempered, why he has anger issues, why he has put his hands on you, and that you believe it's from jealousy.

I would say it's been in his blood all his life and you either missed the signs or saw them, ignored them, thought they would go away and settled.

I wonder also to be honest, whether you like your son there as you feel safer.

Don't play favourites. That will always get up someone's goat especially when they are a new person into your life that you vowed to love for ever.

This could be what you are doing and why he is digressing to his true self.

Doesn't sound like a healthy marriage or safe one to me. Good luck.
jcboy
 
  7  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 05:10 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
FOUND SOUL wrote:



Doesn't sound like a healthy marriage or safe one to me. Good luck.


It sure doesn't, he has a bad temper and laid his hands on her, he should have been kicked to the curb then.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 09:10 pm
Leona, Leona, you sure do know how to pick 'em.
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 09:21 pm
Quote:
Leona said: My husband in the past has put his hands on me and has a bad temper and my son and daughter really don’t like him... my husband still has issues with my son. He harps on petty things and I’m getting really sick of it. Help?!!

Hubs a loser, so the sooner you get rid of him the better, then you can go out and get yourself a proper man..Smile
"If you hang around with losers, you become a loser"- Donald Trump
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  4  
Reply Mon 6 Jan, 2014 10:02 pm
For anyone who doesn't know, Leona has posted at length here before, sometimes all that made people make fun of her. I was probably part of it, not looking back to check. For anyone wanting to catch up, read her profile and posts.

I don't know how to help you now, Leona, except to say get the hell out of there.

And, reread your posting history - that could be a downer, but also get you going to work towards better.

Why on earth did you pick this jerk?

I sympathize highly with your children.
0 Replies
 
 

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