was I confused?

YES - and it is a HUGE turn-off for women. We like confident, secure men who are not afraid to be direct, but act gentlemanly.

WHEN you can be all that, begin to approach women.

We all lack confidence in our early years mate, for example at junior school when I was about 10 I was madly in love with Linda Fowler who was the same age as me but i was too shy to even dare go near her, let alone sit in the vacant classroom chair next to her, and we eventually lost touch.
But with each passing month and year you'll find the shyness gets less, so hang in there.
PS- I heard some good advice in a film once, where one guy said to his pal something like "Do you think Jenny could ever like me?" to which his pal replied- "Just say what you want to say to her, then back off and see what happens"
So you could perhaps give her a little smile and say "hi" when you pass her and see if she smiles back, that's a good start..

Sheesh, PUNKEY. Why not just tell him to join a monastary until shyness goes away? Maybe he could start by saying hi. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask folks about what interests them.

lol... I'm getting a lot more comfortable with experience, being more social and active.

Can I be straight with her? I think she'd understand.

Yes. Being straight is actually easiest and often smartest.

Dear mruniversal,
You do sound a bit confused about her and where you stand with her. It is a turnoff however it can be fixed. First, what kind of "weird" things did you say? and truthfully if you were not sure what she thought of you, your best bet would be to be direct about it. There are different ways that you can be direct with her. Choose the one you feel the most comfortable one with.

A. If you share the same group of friends with her ask her to come to one of the get togethers. If there are none talk to one of your close buddies so that a few of you can get together where ever and then invite her that way it minimizes the ackwardness.
B. You can invite her out to a public place. Coffee? A Bar? Movies? Dinner? The Beach? Fishing? Which ever you feel most comfortable with.
C. You can ask her if she wants to talk on the phone. If she agrees than see where the conversation goes. Pay close attention to her words. Females often give off subtle cues about their interest in you...it'll be subtle but you can find it in her words and tone of voice
D. Tell her your interested.
E. Ask her what she thinks of you? and see what she replies. Once she replies, if you're insure of what it means find a female friend that you trust and ask her. She will be able to tell you if it means a yay or nay .

also...you need to spend more time around her, talking to her, and getting to know her to determine where you stand. You won't really know unless you are spending time with her & getting to know her.



and what exactly has changed for you?

You'll never know unless you try!! What's the worse that can happen? She won't reciprocate the feelings and yes you might be bummed but life goes on and another female will come along....Let your memories be bigger than your fear!!!

Good luck

LiveLoughLaugh24,

Thank you! I agree. It's best to be honest. I think I'll propose B, and D will speak for itself.

I said I liked her as a friend. She seemed to write me off right then. It wasn't what I meant. (Haha)

Practice makes perfect. You try, sometimes everything goes well, sometimes you screw up, sometimes they screw up, in any case you learn and move on.

It is impossible to know if it is "fixable" without knowing the people involved. It sounds like you would like to fix things, so it is really up to her. My attitude in such situations is to leave a door open, and then move on. That way she knows she can talk to you if she wants but you aren't pushing things and you aren't stuck.

If she isn't responding, then you have to accept that it wasn't meant to be. At this point it isn't your fault.

And please don't listen to Punkey. Relationships are tricky and every situation is different because every person is different. Sometimes they work, so you just have to keep trying.