I'm a 25 year old single female currently working and studying. Cutting to the point I met a man a couple of weekends ago at a friends get together. I gave him my cell phone number that weekend. About one whole day after he text me. Since then we have been text messaging each other everyday. I have only seen him in person twice. The second time I saw him was with a group of friends. Toward the end of the night of the second time I saw him when we were both alone he leaned in to kiss me and I reciprocated the kiss. He needed a ride home because he had been drinking and so I took him home. Everything was going fine. He didn't make any moves on me. There was nothing about his body language, behavior, speech etc that was indicative of the "I wanna bang you tonight" type. Although, I do acknowledge he is a guy. Fast forwarding, after I initiated, about 4 hours after lying in bed we had sex that night and it was great! The morning rolled around with half of an eye open while lying on his chest I noticed he was starring at me smiling. So that was the last time I saw him
Before I talk about my frustration with him and receive your advice I'd like to share that BEFORE and after we had sex in his own words he shared that
1. He wants to take it slow mainly because he recently got out of a long term relationship
2. "I take it slow so please don't get frustrated with me" he said
3. The morning after sex he said that wasn't his best sex it's just that he was a bit wasted ..."you'll see" he said
4. "I tend to talk a lot you'll probably get annoyed by me"
5. He's a bit shy at first.
6. He's not really into technology (Phones or what not)
Here are my frustrations:
1. I met him approximately 2 weeks ago and he has not spoken to me over the phone. After the first week I kindly informed him that I prefer to talk over the phone if when he gets a chance to call me. He replied with "Ya, I'll call you tonight I"m at work" and what happened? He never called. He continued to text me.
2. A couple days later I decided to take matters into my own hands thinking that perhaps it is his shyness that crippling him from calling me and he didn't answer and simply text me with "I'm out fishing with my mom I'll call you after" Well.....He never called. Later rolled around and he continued to text.
3. He's horrible at communicating through text. His text are simple, boring, and usually one sided. I've gotten him to open up a little but it's usually when i ask him questions about work...and oh can he text about work.
4. Through text ..he never reciprocates. Never an AND YOU? or What about YOU? How was your day? you get the point. I'm always the one fishing for answers and asking HIM.
5. TONIGHT was my biggest frustration. I was invited to a Bonfire that mutual friends of both his and mine were going to be at. The house is about 35 minutes from where he lives. Not bad right? So I thought to invite him if he's interested. That was it's not an awkward situation for him. There will be friends around. So what did he say through text.."That's what you're doing tonight?" my reply "Yes, for a couple of hours" his response" Dam i have to get my car registered, I'm such a big procrastinator" Clearly he was attempting to completely avoid my question! Was I mad? I was livid. Why? Starting with the calls, his lack of reciprocity, and this!???? so I blew up. I basically returned the message in a bitchy, firm, direct, but classy way so if he didn't know that his inderect messages and lack of assertiveness are irritating now he knows.
He replied by saying he is busy and doesn't want to get a pulled over and get a DUI I didn't reply for hours and a few hours later he text me with an apology if he came across as rude to me.
He text me he was going to his neighbors house and he did.
6. He is still text messaging even after we had sex. I thought that perhaps if that was all that he wanted he would stop reaching out to me but he didn't ..and at that time if he would have stopped text messaging me i would feel okay but the fact that he is still reaching out to me is tormenting me in way because i don't know what he wants although i know what i want .
So I am frustrated about ALL of THis.
I like him but I don't want to be strung along. I'm focusing on school however If I am going to date I prefer it to be serious. I'm trying to stay open and positive about it but the frustration that I am experiencing is making it difficult to be that way.
Can any one tell me if I am being too anxious?
Is he a player or does he seem to have genuine motives?
Does any one have any helpful insight as to how to handle this?
Is it worth waiting on his time table ? I don't get it how could he take it so slow and risk me slipping away. Then again it has only been two weeks.
My mind is trying to rationilize this and it's become difficult to make a judgement mainly because I have only seen him twice.