Should we break up?

We did break up for almost 6 months he came back! Or shall I say we got back together!

But, nothing changed sweet.

Well then, I rather disagree with all the other posters.

If he is doing this out of ambition, and determination to succeed, and he loves his family (the others phrased it in the negative - this is the positive perspective - from his view) and needs them financially to achieve his dreams (and bringing you to the festivities will see those dreams perhaps ended)...it seems unempathetic to say dump him for that sole reason

There are also many western families who despise, or only barely tolerate their in-laws...that don't get the same advice.

In the end, it depends on how much this means to you...and whether you can find an accomodation within yourself for the situation you find yourself in. If it is too hard for you to bear, then that is understandable, and you will do what you need to do. If you can manage it, or find another perspective - it may become something you can live with while being with the man you love.

Are you interested in how things will go during holiday season after he finishes his masters? It may give you the information you need.

I guess I am interested to see how things go but I don't know if I am strong enough to wait! He has already shown signs that his family will always come first and I'm letting my own selfish thoughts and feelings cloud my judgement and love for this man. I don't know what to do and how to go forward. I feel like I am slowing losing him and we are drifting about because I don't see he will ever show that I matter. I'm not asking to be chosen or for him to give it all up for me I am asking that he show that as much love he has for them he equally has for me. Why can't we all get along why can't we all be happy? I think I need to seek out a therapist I truly do.

I don't consider a persons emotions to be selfish - emotions are almost always honest...they can result from misguided perceptions etc, but they are almost always honest.

The way I see it - what you want to work out is 'are your emotions derived from a need of yours'. If they arise because of something you need, in order to be happy, then it is a very serious emotion, and won't go away without that need being met...

...so if you see that need never being met, then it's time to either:
- speak up and see if your emotional needs get met; or
- leave.

This is as normal as you can ever get. My own view is that the level of importance he shows you vs family should be 51/49 (in your favour).

I doubt you need a therapist - you just need to work out what you need to be happy in the relationship, and stand up for that (but then again, you may need a therapist/counsellor to work out what you need to be happy, or to obtain support/advice regarding standing up for your emotional needs)

Best wishes.

It's easy, just start shopping around by smiling at and talking to other guys who you like the look of, and you'll soon have a proper man in your life instead of the spineless mummy's boy you're curremtly lumbered with..

Thank you everyone for the advice! It has been helpful.