confusion

She wants more than anything to live a normal life. With a family and everything that goes along with. But can't. She has no choice but to live a different life.

You can't make that statement as there is no guaranteed correlation between being a victim of sexual abuse and being homosexual. For all the world knows, the person in question was born homosexual.

Statements like these are boiling messes of simplistic dismissiveness, homophobia, and thoughtlessness. No wonder the person in question isn't attracted to you.

Referring to myself.

If you have something serious to get off your chest, or you wish to discuss something or ask a question, then please do so.

At the moment it could be a one way conversation fearuring gollum in the Hobbit.

I don't feel I'm attracted to myself right now.

Neither am I.

I woke up this morning with hair like a startled parakeet. I jumped out of my skin when I looked in the mirror.

I don't feel I'm attracted to myself right now = I don't feel good about myself right now.

Then get some HELP from a PROFESSIONAL.

Your issues are complex and you need to see a therapist. The people here are not qualified to deal with your complicated issues.

I believe in freedom of speech. I may take it for granted. Kind of feel that's not possible.

Who says any of which I speak of, mention is true?
I say I, me, my, etc etc.. who says I can't use myself as example when trying to make a point understood?
Who says I don't enjoy the thoughts of others along with being able to feel what they feel?
My questions are rhetorical.

To be honest with you punkey, how I feel about myself I've never really thought about it. That thing were stress likes to dominate it's host. Because I feel how I feel about myself is not important.
I say I'm fine.

And if none of you beautiful people can't see that if you don't understand a word I mention what makes you think a therapist will understand. The fact that a professional is a professional does not mean that professional can help me.

I've looked through your profile. Many of us here on a2k have had difficult childhoods, but few of us are qualified to help you beyond suggesting you seek face to face counseling. Perhaps there is a non profit organization near where you live that may be of some help.

Perhaps there is a non profit organization near where you live that may be of some help.

Online socializing is not okay?

Of course its good. I just think more may be needed

I have prayed and should continue.

That helps. But more may be needed. Read Acts 8:27-39.

Acts 8:27-39

Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)
27 And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, 28 was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet.
29 Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot. 30 And Philip ran thither to him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest? 31 And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.
32 The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth: 33 in his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth. 34 And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the prophet this? of himself, or of some other man?
35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. 36 And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? 37 And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. 38 And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. 39 And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing.

Even though the Eunuch knew the scriptures, he still needed Philip