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Sun 15 Dec, 2013 09:09 pm
Lately my boyfriend (18) of a year and I (16) have been drinking with our friends, including "Dane." My 1st time drinking, my bf told me Dane carried me back to my bf's car & that I asked him if we could have a threesome with Dane. I didn't remember this & apologized, he got over it fast. Dane has told me my eyes were beautiful and I look like a movie star, and he wrapped my arm when I cut it. My bf didn’t care.
Drinking 2 nights ago, Dane and I were on his bed (don’t know how we got there, think he was showing me pictures of his trips and gf), where he opened up to me that he and his girlfriend have "more bad times than good," and he doubts they will work. I comforted him, holding his hand, saying she is lucky to have such an amazing guy and everything will be okay. He said he'd be okay with it if they didn't work out. He also admitted I had the best boobs he's ever seen and felt bad for staring at them so much. We were so close I felt the warmth of his face against mine and he kept staring into my eyes as if he wanted to kiss me. My bf came in from the living room, but didn’t notice anything. I hugged Dane when I left, and he hugged me back tight (all in front of my bf). That night is still fuzzy to me.
Tonight I asked my bf if we could drink again, because I wanted to see Dane before he leaves to Europe for 3 weeks. It didn’t happen. I don’t want to ruin our drinking group, and still want to be able to be friends with Dane. I didn’t really flirt back with him, but still feel awful about the feelings I have towards him.
Should I tell my bf what happened, or pretend I don’t remember? I was thinking of texting him tomorrow morning, "Babe, I just remembered something from Friday night. Nothing really to worry about, but we need to talk :/." Which would make it seem like I didn’t remember until then. Though I hate lying, I don't want to hurt him or make him fear I will cheat on him.
Please give me some advice on what to do, and say. Thank you.
@sydney17,
Keep your mouth shut. Nothing happened between you and Dane, so there is no reason to make your boyfriend feel bad and cause problems in your relationship. Keep it to yourself. If you feel bad about it, that is your problem. So deal with it. Don't make it his problem, too.
Whoever told you you're supposed to discuss EVERYthing with your boyfriend lied to you. Big time. This is a prime example of something NOT to discuss.
BTW, this sort of situation happens a lot when people drink. You may think drinking's cool because it's something new (and illegal at your age), but once the new wears off, you'll figure out that it just leads to problems. Like this one.
As the old saying goes, "The trouble with trouble is that it starts out as fun."
@sydney17,
Your first mistake was putting yourself in a bad situation (and yes, drinking at your age with a guy who is not your boyfriend is a bad situation).
If you feel guilty about it then you should probably tell him. Since nothing happened I don't think he'd be too upset with you. He might be upset with his friend "Dane" for saying inappropriate things to you. Don't just pretend nothing is going on, though. Most guys (unless they're dense) can tell when something is not right in a relationship.
@sydney17,
Would you do all this sober?
I worry about a 16 year old girl who drinks, has blackouts and then regrets her actions. That sounds like someone heading for trouble.
@sydney17,
You are underage, drinking, and then basically passing out and your question for us is whether or not you should tell your BF about some flirting between you and his friend while you were drunk? Really? How about you take Punkey's advice and stop the drinking (until you grow up enough to drink responsibly.) There is a reason why it is against the law for you to drink.
You are asking for trouble if you keep this up. As to your question, since nothing happened (as far as you know, anyway) I don't think there is any need to tell your BF.
@Eva,
Quote:As the old saying goes, "The trouble with trouble is that it starts out as fun."
Not to mention having sex at the age of 16 and likely becoming a very young mother.
Bet her mother will just love raising another generation as her boyfriend disappear faster then her belly grow larger.
@sydney17,
sydney17 wrote: I don’t want to ruin our drinking group.
Please give me some advice on what to do, and say.
Thank you.
Some advice.
Smarten up and find friends that have better things to do than drink with underage girls.
They sound like a bunch of asswipes.
If Dane's going to Europe in 3 weeks, start forgetting him now, he's history..
@sydney17,
As for what to do, you could go to your friends. Although people on the internet may be able to tell you what they would do, only those closest to you can give you advice AND always be there for you. In the end, it's your decision.
@izzythepush,
izzythepush wrote:
sydney17 wrote:
He also admitted I had the best boobs he's ever seen and felt bad for staring at them so much.
Sounds like a real gent.
At least he had the decency to feel bad about staring at them. Only a cad would be proud of doing that, my mother told me once.
@izzythepush,
He sounds lovey dovey to me. What a romantic!
That's probably one of the most romantic things I've ever heard!
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