Attracted to a younger man

My pleasure....you're good to go.

After receiving some good advice from most people (which in the back of my mind I already knew but did not want to admit) I am going to put my feelings for this younger man aside and concentrate on myself. My bigger problem is going to be asking for a divorce. The marriage has been over for many years (no sex, sleep in separate rooms, not much to talk about except for our boys). Our older son is in college and soon our younger son will be off to college so it will be just the two of us. I guess the first thing is to find a lawyer. Should I tell my husband I am doing this?

There are five important steps to consider before announcing your intention to divorce.

1 If it's applicable, seek marriage counseling and give it one last shot.

2. Learn about your state's divorce process.

3. Review your finances. Begin saving money and start to separate your finances.

4. Decide where and when you will tell your spouse. Does he have a history of violence? Consult a specialist or therapist to help you decide how to make your announcement.

5. Consult a veteran, qualified divorce attorney to help you through the legal process in your state.

Already did #1 and #2. We never had anything joint. He never put my name on anything. This was one of the major sore points in our marriage. He works in banking. I gave up my career to stay home with our children and worked part time at night just to get out of house. He is also very frugal with money. I never had a say. If I wanted to make a major purchase such as a piece of furniture it would be if and when he wanted it. Under the law of our state it,'s 50/50. I already made copies of all the financial documents that I could find. I'm sure there are . More that I don't know about. It's not so much about the savings as both of us want to pay for as much if not all of our children's college tuitions. I will be working full time but will need enough alimony to be able to live. Believe me he makes plenty of money.

The control issues when the husband is the bread-winner can be devastating to a marriage. I saw this with my parents.

You seem to be well on the way to full independence.

Good luck to you and please stop by to keep us apprised...won't you?

Probably time to mention the old comment,


don't **** where you eat.


I'm sort of amazed at the comfort of people posting about lovers or potential lovers at work. I've been there myself, and a friend of mine married a guy, who had she been found out, dating, would have been fired.. Somehow I think all knew, but anyway, they've been married a long time now.


But, that old advice is helpful.

That's just about the only complaint I disagree with you two on.

I edit as I write, and edit again, and so on. I'm interested in what I say and not what someone will respond.

Do you both work up replies by other means first?

For me, what you see is what I last typed.