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What have I done wrong?

 
 
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2013 09:00 pm
The situation: guy likes girl, I like him back and we share mutual feelings but live hundreds of miles away so decided to "hold off until we're in the same city". Then after a while, I start getting cold and vague answers, no replies for days and things obviously haven't been the same. The excuse: I'm busy which is understandable but whats the deal with responding so vaguely. and no he has not found anyone else (trust me, i would know) So what exactly did i do wrong? Should i just not text him until he's the one to text me? Even then, give him the cold treatment he's been given me?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,061 • Replies: 9
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View best answer, chosen by MixedSignals1991
Logicus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2013 09:43 pm
@MixedSignals1991,
Perhaps the distance between you two has taken its toll on your relationship, and your relationship is starting to falter. Direct contact might be able to solve it, but the situation is yours to alter as you see fit.
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Thu 7 Nov, 2013 09:27 am
You said: we share mutual feelings but live hundreds of miles away so decided to "hold off until we're in the same city".

If that's it in a nutshell, what don't you understand?


MixedSignals1991
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Nov, 2013 03:09 pm
@PUNKEY,
Is it necessary to act distant though? Thanks for your opinion however, I appreciate it!
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MixedSignals1991
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Nov, 2013 03:10 pm
@Logicus,
It has and I've tried to visit but his prep for law school doesn't seem to get any time where it may work and I dint want to necessarily be a burden. It is what it is till he gets here (if in fact he does) I suppose? Thanks so much for your opinion
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FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2013 03:43 pm
@MixedSignals1991,
How long has guy liked girl, likes guy that lives hundreds of miles away?

And I have to ask. Where did you two meet, and under what circumstances.

Did you date first, or just all via say, the internet?

MixedSignals1991
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2013 07:07 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Guy has liked girl for 3 years, girl for 1.
We met because his dad is best friends with my dad and he stayed with us for a few weeks 3 years ago. The communication during the Time he was here was great but before I wasn't interested in him, he would call and want to skype often. Now... Not so much. Maybe I'm just starting to freak him out?

Thanks so much for your help. Any suggestions?
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2013 08:06 pm
@MixedSignals1991,
MixedSignals1991 wrote:
So what exactly did i do wrong?


why do you assume it has to do with you?

he may be busy. he may be moving on with his life in another city.

move on with your life.

if and when you end up in the same city and if you're both single at that time, you can assess whether you should pursue a relationship
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FOUND SOUL
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Nov, 2013 10:04 pm
@MixedSignals1991,
It's all in the chase.

So this guy has liked you for 3 years, but you got on well but weren't interested at that point, 2 years later you were, let it be known and so, for 1 year, you have both entered into a long distance relationship but only via Skype and phone, haven't seen each other.

He stated you two couldn't be "girlfriend and boyfriend" persay, or more until one or the other moved closer or in the same State.

A year later he's distant.. says he is busy.

If he can not give you a straight answer knowing that you are worried about why he is being distant, then why waste your time? A relationship at the best is hard, let alone long distance.

Honestly, Skype can be a good thing but also a bad thing and I'll leave that with you Smile

I would say that it's become too hard, he's lost that "chase" interest as he has you and you don't stand your ground rather, ask, he answers and you leave it at that.. No chase anymore.

Be assertive, you are worth something and if he can't pull his finger out and realise what he has, let him go, 1 year is enough time to waste when you could be properly dating, going out to dinner, holding someone...

MixedSignals1991
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Nov, 2013 06:12 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Thats the worst part; it hadn't even been this way for the first 6 months. we werent bf/gf, i didn't want that, but nevertheless he would respond with a little sense of adoration. Now, its straight yes, no, have a great day, thanks yo etc. Either school has taken a toll on him as he says and I'm unnecessarily bothering him, or he's lost interest. I wasn't gonna message him for a while and see if he notices, is that a cruel idea?
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