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My husband is dishonest

 
 
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 10:19 am
My husband is a liar and a cheat, i don’t believe he has had physical sleep with anyone but I know he’s been talking with random people my text, emails, and Facebook. He’s done this in the past and we’ve dealt with this but he keeps doing this. There’s is so much more going on in our relationship, I hate cheaters and have said will never do it. But I feel like I need too, to get back at him, or something. I just need someone to talk too
 
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 10:22 am
@98faith98,
Just need someone to talk too.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 10:30 am
@98faith98,
Why does random talking to people = cheating? I get the feeling you're leaving out a good 90% of this story.

If it bothers you so much, change your password and your permissions. Make it harder to get into your account. But don't be shocked if he does the same in return.

And also, seriously, chatting = cheating? That's a new one on me.
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 12:33 pm
@jespah,
I call it cheating because of the nature of the convo, and because he hides it and lies about it. I think it's inappropriate, especially for a married man to do such things.
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 12:43 pm
In Othello, Shakespeare does a classic study of a man obsessed by the suspicion that his wife had got a secret lover, so he strangles her but then finds out she wasn't cheating at all
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 01:20 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
So what r u saying, I should pretend hes not doing this, looking porn sites, lying to me.
0 Replies
 
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 01:23 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
Btw: thank you for responding, I feel like I need to do the same thing he's doing to get him to see that it is wrong. The only thing is if feel like if I did cheat it would be the end of us and I don't think I want that. I just can't deal withy e lying
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 01:26 pm
He's not trying to hide the fact that he's talking to women is he?
I think that's a good sign because it means he's not trying to keep it secret behind your back, so it's all probably just harmless fun..Smile
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 01:36 pm
@98faith98,
You certainly seem to have cause for some action to protect your own interest. But I believe acting to "get back at him" would be, at best, counterproductive. Talk with a trusted counselor. Few, if any, of us here can offer much more than that.

Be strong.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 01:37 pm
@98faith98,
98faith98 wrote:
My husband is a liar and a cheat, . . .
I hate cheaters
What was the reason that u married him ?
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 02:19 pm
You two have a wonderful relationship. You claim he is cheating by chatting with others, so your wonderful solution is to cheat on him to get even. I'm surprised your marriage has lasted more than 1 month.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 02:22 pm
@CoastalRat,
CoastalRat wrote:
You two have a wonderful relationship.
You claim he is cheating by chatting with others,
so your wonderful solution is to cheat on him to get even.
I guess that is counter-cheating.





David
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 28 Oct, 2013 02:49 pm
Unless he is physically hooking up with these gals or sexting them, then he is just one of those guys who likes to talk by text. He may be an attention-seeker, too. Does he text his male buddies, too?


What SPECIFICALLY makes you think he is a "cheater" rather than just an attention seeker.
Romeo Fabulini
 
  0  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 03:54 am
If he really is a liar and cheat, kick him out and get yourself a proper hub!
Alternatively, start chatting to men yourself to get your own back and see how he likes it..Smile
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 12:44 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
I like your idea Smile, I'm just not the type to cheat or put myself out there so it's hard
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98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 12:46 pm
@Romeo Fabulini,
We have kids together, n not sure I want to completely end it.
98faith98
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 12:51 pm
@PUNKEY,
Maybe he is an attention seeker, but it doesn't make it right. A marriage is respect of which he is not giving me
Romeo Fabulini
 
  0  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 01:52 pm
@98faith98,
He might be doing it because it annoys you and he likes to chuckle when you get all upset..Smile
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Oct, 2013 02:52 pm
@98faith98,
Flirting comes naturally for those that have it within them, but there are boundries as to how far you can go.. "Suggestive flirting" is not cheating, it's being dis-respectful to your partner.

Does he dis-respect you in other ways? Put you down?

Do you give 100% to your marriage, or just live in the house, and be a housewife... It takes two to keep a marriage / relationship - sparked.

Porn is a different story. Here you probably feel that he is cheating as he is looking at another woman naked, to say the least and probably makes you feel less of a woman.. You either agree or disagree with this and if you disagree and he won't stop, then you have to make your own management choice.

Revenge is not ever the answer.

Tit for tat - either.

Sounds to me as if he has been doing all of this all of his life, you have seen it before and "tried" to get him to stop doing it, as you don't like it and now blowing up over it. So it's his nature, surely you saw those red flags when you met him, not established them later in life?


0 Replies
 
 

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