9
   

Breaking News....Damn You Obama

 
 
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 07:35 am

GOP to Start Throwing Babies into the Potomac; Blame Dems for Not Stopping Them

10/3/14

House Republicans gave several furious speeches today to condemn Democrats, who they blame for potentially causing the deaths of thousands upon thousands of babies.

“All the Democrats have to do is say yes to our demands and we won’t be forced to toss those babies into the river,” Speaker John Boehner said on the floor. “They could easily do that, but they choose not to. We don’t want thousands upon thousands of cute little babies to die; we’re against that. Apparently, though, it’s not that important to the Democrat party. If we have to toss those babies, I don’t think the American people will ever forgive them.”
Boehner: Says he doesn't want to toss babies in.
Other congressmen and women joined in the condemnation.

Representative Steve King, Idiot of Iowa, reiterated Boehner’s points: “We’re the ones trying to protect those babies,” he said, “by giving the Democrats the opportunity to avoid forcing us to toss them and by making sure that many of them will never have the burden of adequate health insurance.”

Michele Bachmann, from Minnesota’s Crazy District, added, “These babies want to be saved, from Obamacare and from the river. Why won’t the Democrats save them? Why won’t they at least compromise?”

The Republicans have in fact offered several compromises:

They’ve offered to only throw some babies into the river – perhaps as little as a thousand.

Bachmann: Says, like her, the GOP shouldn't blink.
They’ve offered to keep up to 70% of each baby, only tossing in limbs.

And they’ve offered to keep all of the babies completely unharmed, so long as the Democrats agree to all of their demands, getting rid of Obamacare and promising never to oppose them on anything ever again.

“These are reasonable proposals,” said Majority Leader and Guy that Creeped You Out in High School Eric Cantor. “But the President just won’t sit down at the table with us. It’s terrible. The last thing we want to do is to have to throw these babies into the river. If it happens, the President will have blood on his hands.”

The media has had mixed reactions. On “The Situation Room,” Wolf Blitzer reported: “We’re not going to blame any one side; the entire Congress seems to be dysfunctional. The question now is: Who will blink first?”

On MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” host Joe Scarborough had this view: “I don’t agree with how the Republicans are going about it, but really the Democrats need to equally share the blame.”

And Sean Hannity of Fox “News” said, “I am shocked and appalled that President Obama’s actions have led to this. Where is the leadership? He will go down as the first President in history to be responsible for thousands of innocent Americans drowning – unless you count Bush during Katrina, but that’s different because he was a great man and did the courageous thing.”
 
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 12:25 pm
@blueveinedthrobber,
Throb my instant reaction: Did Sean really say that and if so thanks, you've made my day until reading the rest immediately reveals the hilarity in toto so thanks again

However, where did you find it
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 12:48 pm
@blueveinedthrobber,
Whew...this is just spoof.

I went to the TV immediately after reading it to check.

I am happy to see that it really is not happening, because it was presented so factually and realistically.

This will probably live in the annals with the likes of Orson Welles', War of the Worlds, Bear.

Chilling! Chilling to the bone.
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  0  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 02:57 pm
It would have sounded even more true if they were black babies, right Frank? I mean everyone knows Republicans are racist and all, right? They aren't just baby killers, they are racist baby killers.
Frank Apisa
 
  6  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 03:03 pm
@McGentrix,
McGentrix wrote:

It would have sounded even more true if they were black babies, right Frank? I mean everyone knows Republicans are racist and all, right? They aren't just baby killers, they are racist baby killers.


Actually, I think they are equal opportunity baby killers. Circumstances sometimes makes it seem otherwise.

By the way, McG...it is my opinion that anybody still buying into conservative nonsense in this country deserves all the derision coming his/her way.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  2  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 03:26 pm
@McGentrix,
you forgot sexist baby killers
blueveinedthrobber
 
  2  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 03:28 pm
They have used up all the funds and resources available to be Fetus Savers and Vagina Regulators. there's just nothing left for babies once they leave the womb and can breath on their own.
0 Replies
 
McGentrix
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 07:40 pm
@blueveinedthrobber,
blueveinedthrobber wrote:

you forgot sexist baby killers



That's funny because I was going say female and black, but didn't want to be viewed as an extremist.
blueveinedthrobber
 
  5  
Reply Fri 4 Oct, 2013 08:36 pm
@McGentrix,
too late
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Oct, 2013 06:03 pm
@blueveinedthrobber,

0 Replies
 
IRFRANK
 
  2  
Reply Thu 10 Oct, 2013 06:55 pm
Too close to the damn truth for me.
0 Replies
 
 

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