How to ask boyfriend to stop telling me he will do stuff that he never does?

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My boyfriend does this thing where he tells me he will do something and then doesnt do it. Like he told me he would call me tonight and he never did.

How do I tell my bf that this bothers me and that I really really want to be able to trust he'll do what he says he'll do? Should I just no say anything? Or should I? And if so how do I go about bringing it up and telling him? I dont want it to seem like Im nagging or mad or dissappointed.

Thanks

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[+3] - PUNKEY - 10/04/2013IMO - "I'll call ya later" is a casual comment, almost like "See ya later." Guys don't follow up on this calling thing unless it's specific and for a purpose. They don't hang...

@buckeye21,

I don't know how you are going to tell him, but tell him you must. It's intolerable to you, and since you've never said anything he probably doesn't think it makes any difference.

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Here's a script:

"Hey boyfriend, I really look forward to it with eagerness when you tell me you are going to do something. For instance, you said you were going to call me last night. Unfortunately, when you don't follow through, it leaves me feeling very disappointed and taken for granted. I don't want these let downs to start souring our relationship. I'd appreciate it if you could either not make promises you can't keep or work at improving your follow through when you say you are going to do something."

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@buckeye21,

buckeye21 wrote:

My boyfriend does this thing where he tells me he will do something and then doesnt do it. Like he told me he would call me tonight and he never did.

How do I tell my bf that this bothers me and that I really really want to be able to trust he'll do what he says he'll do? Should I just no say anything? Or should I? And if so how do I go about bringing it up and telling him? I dont want it to seem like Im nagging or mad or dissappointed.

Thanks

Ask for better specificity,
e.g. BF: "Hay, I 'll call u tonite."
"Yea? Tell me what time, so I 'll be ready.
I 'll wait by the fone."

David

P.S.:
Its really un-wise
to go around promiscuously TRUSTING people.
The less u trust, the better off u 'll be.

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The other hand to this is to not organize your life around him and what he says he's going to do. Lead your own independent life and if he happens to call when you have time to talk with him, do so. But don't sit around waiting for him to call.

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@Butrflynet,

Well, there are somethings I needed to talk to him about lol Like the hurricane.

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@buckeye21,

U can tell him that "a man is as good as his word."

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

I did. I asked what time? You promise? All that. I think he just didnt want to. Which is fine I guess. But dont tell me you are going to then.

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@Butrflynet,

Butrflynet wrote:

The other hand to this is to not organize your life around him and what he says he's going to do. Lead your own independent life and if he happens to call when you have time to talk with him, do so. But don't sit around waiting for him to call.

Yea, but he has de facto made a reservation
and he tacitly elicited a committment to block-out some time for the call.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

This is good. Ill use this. He always sayin he a good guy so itll work!

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@Butrflynet,

This is perfect! This is what Ill day! Thankd so muchhh!!!

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@OmSigDAVID,

Yeah if he say he going to do something I need to know he going to do it. I cant even think about getting serious with a guy that I cant trust to do what he says hell do. That's basic stuff. If he cant be trusted to call me when he days he will thats a problem.

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@buckeye21,

buckeye21 wrote:

I did. I asked what time? You promise? All that.
I think he just didnt want to. Which is fine I guess. But dont tell me you are going to then.

U can make a joke about it,
or u can seem a little annoyed, e.g.: "Hay! What the hell ?!!
We were supposed to have a conference at 7:3O.
I was waiting to find out yadda, yadda, yadda
or
I wanted to let u know that thus & so."

If u default in any of your responsibilities to him,
u can jokingly link them together, when he complains,
like, BF: "When r u gonna give me that gizmo that u promised?"
U: "Maybe about the time that u call me
like u said u wud last nite at 7:30, huh ??"

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IMO - "I'll call ya later" is a casual comment, almost like "See ya later."

Guys don't follow up on this calling thing unless it's specific and for a purpose. They don't hang on the phone like girls do to talk aimlessly.

If something was so important, then YOU call HIM. Or set a specific time for a call.

Otherwise, just consider that "I'll call ya" a good-bye line.

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How to ask boyfriend to stop telling me he will do stuff that he never does?

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