Should I tell his wife, will it change anything?

@Germlat,

Quote:

Maybe this is true for you but circumstances for others are simply too easy to hide. Many have corporate trips and dinners, luncheons to attend without their wives. Company cell phones etc. sometimes the wife is the last one to know

Due to family obligations and three homes in three states we spend months at a time apart and still I question if I could carry out any kind of even mildly serous affair without her keying in to the fact of my doing so.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

She didn't have an affair by herself. She wasn't the one to promise to honor...I bet she's not the one lying to the wife and keeping her in the dark to wonder why she is not enough for him.

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Quote:

She didn't have an affair by herself. She wasn't the one to promise to honor...I bet she's not the one lying to the wife and keeping her in the dark to wonder why she is not enough for him

So all the above give her the moral right to do more harm to the man marriage then she already had done?

We both know that she did not care anything about the wife right to know when she was lying under him only beginning to care when he broke it off with her.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Maybe it's not her place but darn it if you were the wife wouldn't you want to know really? She's been probably wondering why she can't turn her man on and feeling incompetent .

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Quote:

Maybe it's not her place but darn it if you were the wife wouldn't you want to know really? She's been probably wondering why she can't turn her man on and feeling incompetent .

You have no reason to assume that he is still cheating on her or that he is making her feel unloved or that if he is still cheating on her she is not aware of it.

My wife first husband was a cheater on a large scale an she was fully aware of the fact of his cheating.

For myself I question if his wife would care to hear anything from his ex-lover.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Well it depends.. As for myself I would want to know. It would paint a clearer picture of the past and present..but ten, I can only speak for myself.

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@Germlat,

My override consideration in this matter is her complete lack of moral standing to go anywhere near the man or his wife or his family.

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@BillRM,

I get your point..but my consideration is not for her but for the wife who suffered in silence ,confused, obstructed, without having a clear picture...she deserves to know!

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@Germlat,

Is that snitch willing to give sworn statement and agree to appear in divorce court? If so, maybe she just might be considered helpful.

Didn't think so.

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Quote:

I get your point..but my consideration is not for her but for the wife who suffered in silence ,confused, obstructed, without having a clear picture...she deserves to know!

An I get your point to and respect it but you do not know what she would wish for anymore then I do or what she already know or what the state of their marriage at the moment happen to be.

No matter what any of the above happen to be I do not see her benefiting by having his ex-mistress once more interjecting herself into their lives.

0 Replies

@BillRM,

I'm sorry for your predicament. I can see how you could get very lonely..but then again so could they. The answer might be if there is anyone you couldn't do without. If there is you need to buckle up and look for a change..if not don't get attached until you feel a craving in your soul.

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Quote:

I'm sorry for your predicament.

My predicament is to have the most wonderful woman in the world as my wife and I must prefer having her in my arms six months or so out of the year then any other woman 365 days a year.

I would consider myself lucky to have her with me one day out of the year for that matter then to have any other woman in my life.

Hell we started our relationship in 1985 with her living and working in the Detroit area and my living in Miami.

I used to be the only person in the world who would fly to Detroit in the middle of winter from Miami for my vacations.

1 Reply

@roger,

Really I think this ex lover is desiring to sabotage his relationship. I think the husband should be the one to tell his spouse..but if he felt fine with deceiving her while having an affair it won't happen . I would never cheat on my husband not because I've never been tempted, but because I would never want to chance losing him or hurting him. I'd want to know if my husband had an affair. I would definitely want to know why it happened and why he was willing to risk our marriage and my health and happiness. I'd rather know where I am instead of sticking my head in the sand. I doubt a woman feels love and appreciated when her spouse is having an affair. I bet they fill unfulfilled

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@BillRM,

I just realized I posted this to you..it was intended for someone else...multitasking has it's down side.

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Should I tell his wife, will it change anything?

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