I know I should end it but I love him.....

never, married 27 years and though we are swingers never cheated. my advice: have your fun but make sure as you can that spouses/family dont get hurt. I most cetainly would not end it now but I am not a big fan of cheating. ideally you would have gotten permission for an open marriage first.

Personally, I hope your husband finds out and tosses you out on your sorry butt. Then lets see how fast lover boy comes to your rescue by leaving his family to be with you. I'm betting he doesn't. I'd wish you good luck, but I have too much sympathy for your husband to hope it all works out for you.

Gosh your lover has it good. He gets to have sex with a "nice," pretty woman with a good body - but never has to take her anywhere and just sees her once a week.

I came across your post whilst searching for my own answers - my case is similar to yours.... I am 39, happily married for 20 years to a gorgeous hubby who loves me, and have a beautful son. My boss, separated (who I have worked closely with for 2 years) and I have recently kissed, and it was electric! He admitted his feelings for me have been there for over a year and and he makes me feel so special and cared for - makes me feel more alive than anything I have ever known before. He is smart, so funny and extremely charming. We have not had sex yet but I really really want to. Its so exciting to have a secret, although I feel terrible. I have never cheated before, but this feeling is like a drug! I have a devil on my shoulder and an angel on the other batteling this out.
I love my job and am very good at it. There is no way I am resigning.
I have so much to lose if I go ahead with this - my hubby will be so hurt.
Why am I doing this? why? I feel so selfish and its not fair on anyone.
I know this doesnt help your cause Unfaithful, but I wanted to share my story with you, in that you are not alone!

Yep, you're being selfish. Why don't you consider counseling to determine not only why you'd potentially rip your family apart, destroy your career and hurt everyone for a roll in the hay, but also why you've got such low self-esteem that you think this is a good trade-off?

You say nothing about loving your husband in any of this. You are of course allowed to fall out of love with your husband. I'd say, given that you wed at 19, he was probably your one and only. There is a lot less bad about ending it with your husband first and then seeing what's happening, versus going ahead now.

How do you think your beautiful son will feel about you once he figures it out (and he will)? If you don't give a damn about how your husband feels about things, do you at least care about the opinion of your own child?

Thanks Jespah.

My face is red and I am is glad I posted my opinions as looking back on it makes me look so foolish.
I do love my husband dearly and of course my son who I could not imagine hurting. I guess my self esteem is a little lagging because I'm turning 40, never been with anyone else in my life and I feel quite panicky for some reason.
I am ending this stupid fling and concentrate on my marriage and the life we have together.

I guess I Just needed someone to give me a cyber slap. 😞

I do hope it works out for you.

PS I'm over 50. I find getting hit on funny (I seem to be catnip to guys in their 70s. Good Lord!); my husband and I laugh about it and I don't give it another thought.

Welcome to A2K.

Its taken this long to end it... but its over. after a few weeks of flirting and fondling....
Just wanted to share that with you.
Much harder the longer you leave it lingering...
No-one found out and no one will ever know, except me and I will carry this unfaithful smirch on my character to my death. Not a nice feeling.

But at least it's done.

I am 61 and have been married for 36 years. We have two daughters who are now adults. Last month I learned that my husband, who is 63, has been having an affair with a 50 year old married woman. He says he is truly in love with her and he won't try marriage counseling. I am devastated, heartbroken, and wonder if there is any meaning to the past 36 years of my life. I am telling you this so you will think of what you are doing to your lover's wife. I know I am not a mean, nasty person. I am good and caring and have loved and supported my husband throughout our marriage. Chances are your lover's wife is the same. Please consider what this will do to her.

How is that ??

Since your husband says he won't try marriage counseling, I suggest that you go alone. Why? To develop whatever skills and backbone and courage you need to end it. Don't stay married to this guy, if he's not willing to put in any effort and is telling you that he's in love with someone else.

It will be his loss, your gain, particularly as a divorce will likely fraction his income, right before his retirement years. His 50 year old married lover will probably have trouble hanging around him if the gravy train stops.

Lucky you, a nice uncomplicated relationship!
In fact I'm trying to find a woman to be together with 52 times a year, I'd pay her taxi fare both ways to and from my home..
Er....I'm in Plymouth UK, are you nearby by any chance?

It's very exciting, isn't it? All one's energy (and therefore enjoyment and pleasure) go into that little secret compartment of sex. I did that, too, many times. It was terribly exciting. I realized I shouldn't be married because it would have destroyed my husband. I wasn't I guess the marrying type but wanted to have experiences with many people. When he finally discovered a nude photo of me (taken while I was married by an old boyfriend of mine) and wouldn't stop bringing it up and pestering me over it, I divorced him. Better for him, better for me, better for everyone.