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I Really Like A Girl So Much It Physically Hurts Me Inside.

 
 
DanB114
 
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2013 11:57 am
I Really Like A Girl So Much It Physically Hurts Me Inside. She is the most perfect and beautiful person i have ever met. We have several common interests (music for example), the same sense of humor and similar interests. We are not going out but are friends, we get on well and talk often. When i am not with her, i feel empty - if that makes sense - like there is a large part of me missing, and when i feel like this i seem very depressed, i have also been informed by friends that i seem very distant, i am also not motivated to do any work, eat or sleep. I should also say that i am unbelievably shy and find the whole “tell her you like her” approach incredibly daunting. I’m sure that if i play my cards right and i let time take its course then i could work up the courage to ask her out, but my problem is one of my best friends also has these feeling for her and has known her much longer than i have (May i also add that they dated briefly). Now, i would give anything to be with this girl but i also don’t want to lose any friends, this being said, i would through my friend under the bus - metaphorically of course - to be with her. I really don’t know what to do and i don’t think i can take this ‘empty’ feeling much longer. Its killing me inside. Everywhere i go, everything i do, i think of her. I can’t listen to any form of music anymore without getting emotional. What do i do?
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Type: Question • Score: 16 • Views: 30,395 • Replies: 30
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2013 12:00 pm
Pull yourself together kiddo. Re-read your own post and see how lovesick you are.

Don't lose yourself in all this.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2013 12:08 pm
@DanB114,
Since your friend isn't involved either, move it forward. The poor girl could end up with a bum because all the decent guys are sitting around having too much for each other.

I can see you don't lose a friend. Let's hope your friend feels the same way.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 15 Sep, 2013 05:54 pm
@DanB114,
You're kidding.

Please describe this.
Savana Brooks
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Sep, 2013 02:56 pm
@DanB114,
To start off
A friend is someone who understands your feelings and accepts everything about you. You shouldn't be worried about your friend getting mad at you for going out with someone you like. That is not a friend.

If you really like this girl then then you just need to just "Go For It" Ask her out and see what she says. If the girl rejects you then you need to learn to accept it and be a good friend. Don't strive for her your whole life because you'll never get anywhere.
vonny
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Sep, 2013 03:08 pm
@DanB114,
If your friend still likes the girl, why isn't he still going out with her? Presumably, it didn't work out for them when they dated? If that's the case, then go for it! Ask the girl on a casual date first, just to 'test the waters' - see if she is interested in you as more than just a casual friend, and take it from there.

There's no point in you just pining after the girl if you aren't prepared to do anything about it. You need to be brave and speak to her as soon as possible - good luck!
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 16 Sep, 2013 11:09 pm
DanB wrote:
Quote:
..i would give anything to be with this girl but i also don’t want to lose any friends..


Perhaps she can sense that and thinks "Huh, he can't love me very much if he thinks more of his friends than he does of me!"
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Sep, 2013 11:20 pm
It physically hurts you inside? This isn't a person who is actually interested in the target, er, woman.

Please, jerk off and leave your desired woman alone.
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 17 Sep, 2013 12:58 am
@DanB114,
The pressure's hurting you inside? Perhaps she's worried that if she has sex with you, you'll explode inside her like a depth charge
0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  0  
Reply Fri 20 Dec, 2013 10:15 am
@DanB114,
Seems deep. Advice?

"There's no such thing as a perfect soul mate. If you meet someone and think they're perfect, you better run as fast as you can in the other direction cause your soul mate is the person that pushes your buttons, pisses you off on a regular basis, and makes you face your s***."
- Madonna

--

Do you believe there is a specific someone out there put on earth just for you? Rabbi Shmuley says many people don't believe in soul mates because they're afraid of such a special commitment. While soul mate love may seem overwhelming or unattainable, Rabbi Shmuley says it's something we should all strive to have. "If you believe in a soul mate, you believe in love," he says. "You believe that love is something more than accidental [or] capricious. It is something unique, special [and] miraculous."
Rabbi Shmuley says everyone looking for love should keep this in mind:
Soul mates do exist. The reason why all people don't have soul mates is because when they're looking for love, they're following a checklist of what they want in someone else, Rabbi Shmuley says. Instead, he says people should make checklists of what they themselves lack. "A soul mate is not your double—it's rather someone who fills in the blanks," he says.
A soul mate is someone with whom you never have to prove yourself. "There is an instantaneous sense of comfort—you begin to feel comfortable with all of your flaws because this person just accepts you," Rabbi Shmuley says. "They still love you for your virtue, but they accept you for your flaws as well."
A soul mate is someone with whom you can be honest. "When you are around a soul mate, you feel this instantaneous need to confess—you want to share things that are utterly personal because you're are not afraid that you are going to be thrown out as a result," he says.
When distinguishing a soul mate from someone who is merely a partner, Rabbi Shmuley says you should use this soul mate checklist: 
Do I find this person attractive, am I drawn to them?
Is this a good person with a good heart?
Do I respect this person?
Does this person love children?
Does this person have the capacity to put others before him or herself?
Can he or she empathize with another person's plight?
Is this person charitable? 
Not just in pocket, but in person? 
Do they give of themselves to others?
Is this person nonjudgmental?
Does this person live for something other than the material and the transitory?
Is this person humble and not arrogant?
When he or she hurts you, are they forthcoming with an apology?
Once you find your soul mate, Rabbi Shmuley says you'll feel whole in many ways. "'Soul mate' simply means someone with whom you have a soulful connection," he says. "It's not purely physical, it's not even purely emotional—it's deeper than that. You just feel you are like one spirit, one soul."
Today's Shmuleyism
"To find the perfect soul mate, focus not on what you have, but what you lack. By identifying that one big thing we are missing, we are guaranteed to find someone who makes us feel whole."

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Finding-a-Soul-Mate#ixzz2mfHhhicI

jon Larson
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 May, 2014 10:47 pm
@ossobuco,
Because if their realy your friend theyll let you date.her without givong you the.crap you dont deserve for loving someone
0 Replies
 
jon Larson
 
  0  
Reply Mon 26 May, 2014 10:49 pm
@anonymously99,
Ill say your righy but I have experienced.this nefore but.i think its the.fact.you like them or love thwm but.you dont.wNt any.risks
0 Replies
 
jon Larson
 
  0  
Reply Mon 26 May, 2014 10:53 pm
@Savana Brooks,
Thank you thats a point I think everyone should know Smile
0 Replies
 
THEBMAN
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 22 Feb, 2015 06:25 pm
If it hurts your stomach to be without her around you
It means that the pleasure if her company is primary to
your happiness. Please do yourself the favor
and start dating ASAP. Depending upon your
age, the dating could be a doorway to your mate.
Ask yourself if you can live with the regret
of not knowing what you lost or found in her
Life is for the living. Stand up and win or loss.
0 Replies
 
noomclub
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 04:33 am
@DanB114,
Thank for sharing!
ทางเข้า gclub
Sixmanxi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 May, 2015 01:27 am
@noomclub,
Thank for sharing!
goldenslot
gclub
sakexcel02
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 May, 2016 12:47 am
@Sixmanxi,
thanks.ทางเข้า gclub
0 Replies
 
sakexcel02
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Jun, 2016 12:23 am
@DanB114,
thanks
gclub
0 Replies
 
Christian0101
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 Jul, 2016 07:37 am
@DanB114,
This is the exact situation I was and still am in. The girl I have feelings for briefly dated my best mate. The first time he found out I had feelings for her, he put me into a dilemma, him or her. I chose him, as I've known him for basically my whole life. This killed me, not being able to talk to her. Over the next year or so I was really depressed, constantly thinking about her. Not a day would go by the I wasn't thinking of her. This was over the course of 2014 and 2015. It's 2016, I had the courage and the confidence to tell her I still had feelings for her, I said straight out. My best mate who dated her for a short time found out and was once again really pissed off. This time, I didn't care if I lost my best mate, this is because I was and I am still genuinely in love with this girl. It physically hurts.

Bro, if you genuinely love this girl, go for it, chase after her. If you're willing to do anything for her, like I am, do it. Forget about your best mate, they come and go. If you love her, don't let your friend get between you two, I know how it feels. Exact situation.
0 Replies
 
Kruuton
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Nov, 2016 08:56 pm
I am in the same exact situation. I really don't know what to do because if I get rejected, I honestly don't think I can move on. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have feelings for me, and I'm stuck in a position in which I don't know what to do. I'm not that worried about my friend anymore, because she obviously doesn't like him anymore, but I don't know what to do about myself.
 

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