Tue 10 Sep, 2013 05:38 am
I am having problem telling a lady how i feel about her, it started 2 weeks ago we where chatting and textin like friends until last week i asked her out and she said yes but said she was going to spend the weekend at her friends, that she will give me a call to come and pick her, so we went out for dinner and movie and she decided to slept over at my house and left in the morning, everything was fine, we were communicated more often than before, we laugh and joke on phone, i keep wishing i could talk to her always every seconds of the day, we are so close that each time a guy ask her out she will tell and ask for my permission if she should go out with the guy and each time she tells this to me my heart beats fast and the feelings of jealousy, anxious, i keep having the fear of losing her to someone else now am facing a problem of tell her how i feel about her because she told me the first day we knew each other that she was not ready for a relationship and she was waiting for the "right" guy, so i am scared that if i tell her how i feel she might turn down my proposal to her, i need your help please on what should i do about her, should i tell her how i feel because the intensity of emotions... thnaks
@bright4first,
Be more patient as it's way too soon. Try to keep the extent of your feelings under wraps because she's made it clear what her intent is. 2 weeks is far too soon to develop such feelings and have them be authentic. Have you been in a serious relationship before?
@bright4first,
Unless a doctor has given either you or she 3 weeks to live, or either of you is going off to war, this is waaaaaayyyyy too early.
If a guy came on that strongly after 2 weeks, it would freak me out, and I would run for the hills.
Happy endings are lovely but they take some time. Don't rush it.
@Ragman,
Thanks.. actually i have not been in a serious relationship before..
@jespah,
the problem is that each time she tells me about some guy hitting on her asking how out and stuffs like that, the pressure of me not losing her is getting too much each time she tells me that
@bright4first,
Quote:we are so close that each time a guy ask her out she will tell and ask for my permission if she should go out with the guy
When you say she slept over at your house, was it like a BFF sleepover - one pal staying at the house of another, or was it a romantic occasion? It sounds, from the above, as if she thinks of you as a friend - possibly even a best friend. If she felt the same way as you do, surely she wouldn't want to go out with other men.
You sound a very nice and earnest person, perhaps inclined to wear your heart on your sleeve and fall in love rather quickly. Perhaps posting on this thread will help you to see things from a different perspective. Do please be patient - rushing things might ruin your friendship with the lady of whom you are so fond.
@bright4first,
Try this... tell her that tomorrow it's your turn, and that a girl has asked you out... even if you only stay at home, and play xbox, don't say anything for a few hours. Go for a walk, go to the gym. Then say you had a great time. Check her reactions... If she's interested in you, she'll be jealous like you were, and won't be able to hide it very well I suppose...
What's the feedback you've been getting from her about her dates? Is she liking them?
@bright4first,
Pls ignore Trionguy's advice. Lying about seeing someone else is a bad unethical choice which, if followed, would create more problems.
@Ragman,
yes, there's that too... but, no-one gets hurt with this lie... it's just a probing method. Obviously it shouldn't be used everytime, but it can be a very useful tool.... just saying...
@TyrionGuy,
Wrong! The person that lies gets hurt. Why not just have a talk with the girl without giving away completely the intensity of feelings. After all, she expressing herself about her dating others by asking his permission. While I'm a bit taken aback over this behavior and not understanding what motivates her to do that, it's possible she might feel strongly about him too.
Lying is never EVER a good choice.
I, too, can't figure out why she is asking you about other guys, unless you are in the friend zone and she wants a guy's opinion.
But here's something to try: during these conversations about whether she should go out with Boy A, you could say, "Oh, he's OK (or whatever you think". Then ask "Say, I was wondering about asking Sarah (or whomever) out. What do you think?"
Either she is playing games OR you have mis-read your relationship with her and she sees you as a guy-friend.
@PUNKEY,
wow a person shouldn't do that.. don't ever EVER lie. blah blah blah.... yuck!
@PUNKEY,
Quote:I, too, can't figure out why she is asking you about other guys, unless you are in the friend zone and she wants a guy's opinion.
Just tell her 'I just realised I like you, so any opinion I give will be suspect'
And if she insists on your opinion, just refuse.
Answering this question will put your squarely in the friend zone...don't take part in it.
@vonny,
Vonny it was not a bff sleepover becoz something else happened that nite she slept over
@vonny,
Vonny it was not like a BFF sleepover becoz something else happened and we made out..
@TyrionGuy,
nope she told me she don't like them, after she told me the guy is asking her out and if she should go out with him, i will tell i don't know but if you said you don't like the guy then no need of going out with him and she will reply by saying al-right i wont go out with him.. instead she will tell me see introduce her friend that is single to the guy
@vikorr,
i did tell her i like her but her response was i do really like you also but i don't know what will happen in future and i don't want to hurt you, i don't want you to be disappointed if we cant be together or something will happen like i go to far away places and may never contact you again
@bright4first,
It sounds to me as if she doesn't want a serious commitment at this stage of her life. She's obviously just playing the field, so it would probably be best if you cooled it for a while - just be there for her and be a friend to her. No point in pushing her to make a commitment - you might drive her away.
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