My wife said 'I have never loved you'

Listen to her!! She has told you how she feels.

Let her go and find someone who says she DOES love you.

Well, it may not be as simple as that, if kids and property and finances are tied up in the marriage.

It is possible to rekindle marriages. First thing I'd suggest :
- go and see some counsellors to get ideas.
- sit down with her and really listen to her
- ask her where it all started going wrong
- ask her how she's been feeling the last few years
- ask her what she thinks has caused those feelings, etc

A few concepts :
- you put time into what is important to you. Even the busiest people on earth make time for what is important to them. So, have you been putting time into her, and your relationship with her?...or has where you placed your time told her that she is not so important to you?
- you pay attention to what is important to you. So, have you been paying attention to her? Or have you been paying attention elsewhere and essentially telling her that other things are more important than her?
- tiredness makes putting effort & attention into important things more difficult (ie. a lessening of interest), PLUS, if one partner has to put more work in than the other (resulting in tiredness)...the result is both a lessening of interest towards the other person, and blame placed on the other person.
- if you aren't growing, you are dying. Same goes for relationships. They take constant work. Have you been putting the work in to grow your relationship? Or has it been dying?

Lastly, relationships are a two way street - these questions could apply to her just as well as they can to you.

Was it said in the heat of the moment - in the middle of an argument, or what? How long have you been married, do you have children, did you feel you had a happy marriage before this past fortnight? Hard to advise you without more facts. Had you done anything to upset your wife to such a degree that she said this to you?

Thanks for summing up my questions far better then I could have done so.

I always argue with her,I didn't do house work and I didn't take care of my kid.I only have one daughter.I have been married for 5 years.

How can I rekindle my marriage?I have worked my best for two weeks.

Are you scared of losing a housekeeper and childminder, or the woman you love? When you say you've worked your best for two weeks to rekindle your marriage, what exactly have you done?

How was your marriage before your wife said that she'd never loved you? Did you feel that she was happy with you, or unfulfilled in some way?

I'm not being nosy just for the sake of it. I'd genuinely like to help, but without knowing more facts, it's hard to advise. Others who read this thread probably feel the same.

Hi, my wife was unfulfilled before saying it but she refused to tell me why.
I have prepared food for her, taken care of my daughter and done some house work for two weeks. I don't want to lose the woman I love but she insists treating me coldly.
My wife loved me a lot for three years.I don't know what went wrong and she only said communication problems and I didn't take good care of my daughter.
I can't touch her anymore now and she only allows me to kiss her lip.
Please help.

If you honestly have no idea why your wife is behaving like this, then there truly are communication problems between you. Do you really listen to your wife when she talks to you, or do that thing so many husbands do, which is to nod and make polite noises?

It sounds as if your wife was prepared to do everything for you, and for your daughter, for the first years of your marriage, but was waiting for you to bond with her mentally as well as physically -and this never happened.

Do you look at your wife as a person, and realise that she has needs and desires that may not revolve round housework and childminding? If you do, then sit down with your wife and talk to her. More importantly, listen to her. I feel that you do love your wife, but aren't very good at expressing your emotions. Perhaps you think it isn't manly to do so? If that is the case, please try to overcome those feelings and be more understanding. Please try hard to communicate with her.

Sorry men are not as good at relationship communications as women and that by the studies I seen is link to sexual characteristics.

Decades ago I was as happy as I could be living with my now wife and have no idea in the world that there was any problems until she move out on me.

Now I tell her that if she is unhappy with me for any reason she should not assume that I know that she is unhappy or the reason why unless she tell me in plain and simple language.

Men are blindside by relationships breakups far more often then women.

She should not make her husband guess at why she is unhappy being married to him.

The trouble is that I stand by what I said - but agree with what you say! Mmmm - the problem is how best to advise GawDesmond! Perhaps he ought to sit down with his wife and repeat exactly what you said to me - to tell him why she is unhappy in plain and simple language.

The only fly in the ointment, is if he's been very neglectful of her during their marriage - it does sound as if he's only just waking up to the fact that she needs help with the home and child. They certainly need to talk it out before it goes much further.

How long should I persist?She always ignores me and I am frustrated.I always get hurtled and can't fall asleep.😫

Her attitude keeps changing daily.