I'm all alone...my mums just died

Where do you live, sophie? I don't mean exactly, but are you in the US, the UK, or somewhere else? We may be able to help you find some resources for support if we have some idea where to start looking.

Did your mum have any close friends? Do you have any close friends? Is there someone you can stay with for a few days while you sort out the decision on going back to school? Speaking of school, is there a counseling center at the school you can contact?

I live in the uk, My mum was really close to this woman who I've met a few times and she is always nice to me, but I can't get hold of her. After I found out my mum was dead( a few hours ago) I locked the door and started crying, screaming and I just had a break down. I can't stop crying. I've been trying to get hold of my dad, aunt, cousins ect but I can't get hold of anyone.
There isn't a counselling centre at my school, I wouldn't talk to anyone like that anyway I don't think. I don't want the social services to come, I couldn't bare it! I will keep trying to contact somebody

you said this in another earlier post:



Perhaps it's time for your Dad to step up and take responsibility for your care. There's a lot missing here for information. How old are you? I get the sense you are around 12, in which case..authorities won't allow you to live alone. What is the full story?

I'm 12, sorry for not giving much information

Well, Sophie, first of all I'm really sorry your mum has died (and so recently) and that you're all alone and don't have anyone to talk to or hug you. Of course you were screaming and crying - you are distraught, and naturally so.

You're so young, and you will have to live with your dad or another relative for several years. Maybe she provided care for you in her will. Until then, you will have to contact your father as he is your other natural guardian.

I really think you should talk to someone about what's happened, and you cannot or should not be alone right now.

Please keep us posted.

Sophie...very sorry for your loss. These are very trying times. I hope you get help from the community ...I can't believe that support is not going to be there if you seek it out. I think your Dad is already planning to take care of you. a 12-yr-old child will not and should not be on her own.

When you get a chance, pls tell us about how dad's plans are for care-taking and time that he is spending with you now.

I've gotten hold of my mums friend and she is on her way but she lives about 25 minuets away, I've left a message on my dad answer phone a few times but still no answer. I'm not sure what to do. My dad normally works away and I don't have a number for his workplace on the other side of the country. I don't know what else is needed to know but ask if there is

I'm glad your mum's friend is on her way to be with you. If your mother had cancer then it's likely that she made arrangements for your care if she didn't survive. I will take a few days for all the papers and processes to get sorted out. Hopefully you'll get some information soon on what plans have been put in place for your care.

I can only imagine how sad and scary all of this is for you. Keep talking/typing until your mum's friend arrives.

Also, I might be wrong...but...your school should know how to reach your Dad at his job.

I think your family friend should be able to help you sort all of this out.

My mums friend has arrived now with her daughter who is one of my friends. She came in to the house and gave me a big hug and said " I'm so sorry".
For a fact, I know that the school don't have my dads work away number because I was with my mum when she filled out the papers. I've lost my aunt recently too, she does of secondary cancer so I guess it runs in the family. I really hope my dad comes to get my soon because I miss him and really need him!

Every time I think of my mum, I feel weak inside and I feel like my hearts broken to peices. If you've ever lost anyone close to you, you will know how I feel. Every word I write, its hard to even write it. A tear come out of my eyes and I feel terrible. The last time I talked to my mum I couldve been nicer or said I love you once more but now I feel guilty because I wish that was the last thing I said to her but it wasnt.

Don't fret over the things you didn't say. She knows you love her and your guilt isn't necessary.

Is your mum's friend going to stay with you? Is she suggesting you go stay with her?

She's taking me to her place to stay but I don't want to leave. But I know I will just feel worse if I'm at home. I don't think I can ever forgive that doctor who said she would be fine, they could've done something, she was due into theatre soon but why didn't they do it sooner. She didn't deserve to die! I'm leaving the house now with a bag. Will I be made to go back to school on Tuesday ( that's the day we go back after summer)? I don't think I could face everyone.

Hi Sophie

I'm so sorry about your Mom.

Go with your friend and her Mom now and try and rest, try and get some sleep. Don't worry about school - you won't need to go on Tuesday whilst you are staying with your Mom's friend and that there is someone there who can take care of you during the day. I would imagine that, if she can look after you until the police can contact your Dad, that you will be able to stay with her for a little while if you have no immediate relatives in your area.

What's most important at the moment is you go with your friend and be safe in their house and you must try and get some sleep- I know it won't be easy to sleep, but do try and rest. Don't think about school at the moment.

Your school can be notified by the family that you are going to tonight and the police will be able to get hold of your Dad. The lady you're with can probably get that sorted out for you.

You mustn't be alone, OK. You must go and stay with your friend now. Go now Sophie and talk to us if and when you can. Please stay safe and stay with this family until they are able to get hold of your Dad.

Again, I'm very sorry for what's happening to you and for the loss of your Mom.

well said. Listen to Izzie's wise advice. My heart goes out to you.

My thoughts are with you Sophie. You cry as much as you want, and let your Mum's friend hug you and hold you.

You Dad will call you soon and come and see you.. Be strong sweet...

I keep going to tell her something funny or something but then I realise she isn't there, she gone forever...I'm not sure how I feel, I feel confused more than anything?!
I still haven't heard from my dad, he usually rings me a few times a week but he hasn't ringed yet. I hope he got my messages and is on his way, I really need him now.
I feel so terrible, I can't eat anything, I can't have fun, I can't do anything, nothing helps. I keep thinking of all the good times we had together, laughing and having loads of fun but now I don't think I can ever feel like that again...

I know you feel terrible, sophie. It IS terrible! I also know that you can't see a way forward yet. That will come in time. So will the ability to laugh and have fun. There are too many unknowns right now about your immediate future, as well as the overwhelming grief of losing your mum. Don't have too many expectations of yourself right now. Everything will get sorted in time.

I hope you hear from your dad today.