@ehBeth,
and partner who had a **** buddy says it wasn't emotional so that's not as bad
it's still cheating
both of them have an awesome big L on their foreheads in this case
@martym,
For me, finding out that my partner had an emotional affair would be much harder to recover from then finding out he'd had a physical affair.
I think a lot of people go through changes within a marriage, even if they did talk in the beginning about their boundaries. Life is long, art is short. Oh, of course, the other way around. Many who thought cheating would be a marriage death knell may be confused years later when it does happen to them.
I'd say talk together extensively to see why things happened this way, trying hard not to run around blaming, but to understand the dynamics between you, your reactivities. You could go to counselling; to me it's best if you can figure things out yourselves, but that requires truth telling on both sides. You may come out of it, with or without a counsellor, deciding to divorce, or you may gain understanding and improve your connection.
Good luck.
@martym,
Which is worse? Whatching my husband destroy my boyfriend after a one night stand or having your husband arrested. Then have to testify that your boyfriend started the dustup. your husband gets realeased after two weeks in a stress center for anger managment. Then have the judge tell you that the boyfriend started it and under the states stand your ground law, which I did not know our state had, my husband was allowed to basicly tear up my boyfriend in the middle of my living room with me begging him to stop.
@CTyank,
Husbands and boyfriends are like penises and vaginas - you should have one and not the other if you can manage it - anything else leads to grief.
