Which is worse???

Are you crowd sourcing your outrage?

Does it matter what any of us say?

Define "worse". I would say the second is less desirable; it is all virtual, and at least if you have real sex with a person who is actually present you are getting some exercise.

Are these the only two choices we get?

Depends entirely on the specifics. I've done option 1 - but I was single - don't really see the harm.

Are we talking a married couple and who's perspective are we viewing this from? The divorce attorney's?

Does 'worse' even come into it?

The virtual affair has less risk of introducing an STD into the marriage I guess.

I need specifics before being judgemental.

Worse for who?

and are we assuming either/or is bad at all?

Married couple who has done both

The married couple trying to get passed these things

both people have done both types of affairs?

Husband did sex buddy wife internet emotional

Well then it's up to the couple isn't it. Not up to anyone else.

I always find it weird that people don't set their ground rules as a couple before they get too far into a relationship.

People have to know what the other person's limits are - within the relationship. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I think sometimes its good to have some outside opinions, its not like we are going to make decisions on what anyone else says

You know, that's exactly what I was guessing.

It does seem (purely from my perspective) that the 'which is worse' question is pretty irrelevant - neither seem good - and again without specifics I still can't pass judgement -you could say the actions of one person led to the behaviours of the other.

Like you would say murder was worse than assault - but if it's the beaten wife who murders the abusive husband - which is worse, and who's to blame?

Is the idea that if they have both sinned equally therefore no harm done? Seems like an odd way to rationalise it, but I have to agree with Beth - it's up to the couple to decide - I'm just glad I'm not in that relationship.

Shouldn't this thread be titled, "Which is better?"

Personally I would rather have the sex buddy.

What were the expectations of the two people involved when they started their relationship? did they talk about what was acceptable to each of them?

Why would we post it it both parties were fine with it, obviously any sort of cheating is not acceptable in this relationship, obviously this relationship is not 100 % good but we were just looking for opinions

ok then

time for both to get lawyers and end the marriage eh

____


seriously - both parties have fucked up - literally.

both have cheated.



if the couple needs the input of someone else to figure this out (and doesn't want to end the relationship) , it should probably be someone who can assist them directly - a counsellor, a pastor .. something along that line

Thankyou

Can we guess?

Partner who sexted says it wasn't actual ******* so it's not as bad.

Sorry. There is no better or worse. If the couples' deal was NO CHEATING then they are both cheaters and neither is a prize worth winning.