@Arcenik,
You need to put your foot down with your parents.
You need to let them know that supporting your daughter means that your wife comes along with the package. They do not have to love your wife, but they must respect her and stop with the childish name-calling.
Tell them that things will not change, and they will not see their granddaughter until they can be civil to her mother.
Now - recognize - not everyone gets along. This is not a suggestion for everyone to kiss and make up. They probably won't. But you need to set ground rules and standards for minimal behavior with your parents.
On your wife's side of things, she needs to, possibly, be more tolerant and try to let some of this roll off her back. She does not need to take abuse, but if things are not perfect, she may need to let some of those things go for the sake of peace and to allow your daughter to know her grandparents at all.
Furthermore, it will probably be best for everyone involved if the family met on neutral ground from now on, or at least until things improve pretty dramatically. That is, a restaurant, a public park, etc. In public, people are inclined to behave better. And they are not defending their own turf or uncomfortable on someone else's.
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