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Random woman shows up at door step for Finace!

 
 
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 01:42 pm
A woman came to my house today and asked for my fiance. When i told her that he wasnt here but i was his fiance and how could i help her, she gave me a dirty look and walked to her car and left. Fiance says he doesnt know who she is. How do i go about this situation??
 
ToriAustin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 02:03 pm
@ToriAustin,
Someone please give me advice!! I'm losing it. I dont know what to think or who to trust!!
Butrflynet
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 02:10 pm
@ToriAustin,
Do you not believe your fiance when he tells you he doesn't know who she is?

If not, why not? Has he given you any reason not to believe him?

If you do believe him, then what's the problem? Maybe it was the wrong address, maybe it was a relative, maybe she was selling something.

What should you do about it? Talk with your fiance.

0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 02:46 pm
Jesus wept.

You are one green eyed jealous person.

The guy says he doesn't know her, he doesn't know her.

Dame coulda been trying to sell something, the dirty look coulda been her response to your having toannounce the person she was asking for was your finace, and she didn't want to have to get into it with you.

If this guy lies to you anyway, which you seem to think, WTF are you with him anyway?

Oh yeah, because you love him.

chai2
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 02:47 pm
@ToriAustin,
ToriAustin wrote:

Someone please give me advice!! I'm losing it. I dont know what to think or who to trust!!


I think you should trust us, complete strangers.

I was that woman, and I'm after your man.

I'm gonna get him too, just you wait and see.
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 03:30 pm
Maybe she was a debt collector?
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 04:59 pm
@contrex,
My post before just reminded me of something that happened to me years ago, with my ex husband.

We're sound asleep, the phone rings. Phones on my side of the bed. I look at the clock, it's probably a little after 12:30am if I remember.

me: (groggy voice) Hullo?

Some chick: Let me talk to Brian.

me: Sorry, wrong number.
I hang up.

Phone immediately rings again. Now I'm awake.
Hello?

Let....me....talk.....to.....Brian (sounding pissed off)

You're dialing the wrong number, there's no Brian here. I hang up. Husbands awake now too.

She calls back again, I tell her she's dialing the wrong number, stop calling, etc.

she says "I know Brian is there, give him the phone!"

I said something like "Look, I've got someone sleeping here next to me, and it's NOT Brian"

She says "Are you sure?"

Oh God, I hang up (unplug the phone), tell my husband what she said and he just about busts a gut laughing. I start laughing too, it was so ridiculous.

For months after that, sometimes I would roll over at night, touch him and say "Brian?" He'd always chuckle.
ToriAustin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:24 pm
@ToriAustin,
She wasnt dressed professionally at all. and for those who think im jealous, no. there was something about this woman. Anybody who was profeesional and wanted something would have spoke about what she wanted.
0 Replies
 
ToriAustin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:25 pm
@chai2,
if she wanted to sell something im sure she would have sold it
0 Replies
 
ToriAustin
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:26 pm
@chai2,
Kill yourself. Or better yet show up at my doorstep...
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:26 pm
@ToriAustin,
ToriAustin wrote:
How do i go about this situation??


What is the situation that you perceive?
ToriAustin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:28 pm
@ehBeth,
a random woman just shows up and ask for him by name. Any professional would have spoke no matter who i said i was. The fact that she said nothing just creeps me out and makes me feel like he is lying...
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 06:30 pm
@ToriAustin,
ok, so the situation is that you don't trust your fiance.

You need to talk to him about what he has done to cause you not to trust him.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 06:37 am
@ToriAustin,
I wonder how many people are going to tell you to either trust your fiance or talk to him before you decide to actually do so? If your fiance has not given you reasons to mistrust him in the past, then why are you suddenly not wanting to take him at his word now? And if you don't trust him, you might as well dump him because your relationship is doomed from the start.
DrewDad
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 08:03 am
@ToriAustin,
ToriAustin wrote:
Any professional would have spoke no matter who i said i was.

Um.... nope. There are any number of professions that will not talk to you, even if you're married, without a release. I fact, it's illegal for them to do so. (Doctor, psychologist, etc.) Most of these folks also won't show up at your doorstep, though.

And there are any number of professions that would not talk to, because they want to catch your fiance unaware.

Granted, most of the ones I can think of in that category have pretty negative associations. Debt collector, repo man (well, woman in this case), process server, undercover cop, drug mule, bookie, loan shark....
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 08:41 am
Private investigator for an insurance company, too - they would want to speak to a specific person, and it's usually meant to be unawares.
0 Replies
 
spidergal
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 09:46 am
@chai2,
So hilarious, Chai!
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  4  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 10:03 am
@ToriAustin,
ToriAustin wrote:

a random woman just shows up and ask for him by name. Any professional would have spoke no matter who i said i was. The fact that she said nothing just creeps me out and makes me feel like he is lying...

Let's say it's an ex who your boyfriend hasn't seen in three or four years. Yes, she may be bummed that you are in the picture. Yes, your boyfriend has no idea who she is because unless you took a picture, he doesn't know what she looks like and he wasn't expecting company. I pity your poor boyfriend at this point because all he knows is someone came by and you are freaking out.
contrex
 
  3  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 01:03 pm
@engineer,
engineer wrote:
I pity your poor boyfriend at this point because all he knows is someone came by and you are freaking out.


Me too. Luckily for him, I don't see him being her boyfriend much longer, if he's got any sense.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Jul, 2013 01:25 pm
I didn't post my first response to Tori, but I thought, "she's not random" to myself. Of course I've no idea and that was more of a response to the word random than it was about the likelihood of your fiance being involved with this woman in the past.

None of us can possibly know your history, your tendency to be jealous, tendency to be controlling, your fiance's past romance scenarios or other such connections, or which of many possible types of people may have arrived at his door and you answered... including but not limited to insurance investigators.

Everyone else has said (I think, I'm not reading back) to talk more with your fiance. Trust is important: you need to figure out if you do trust him. This may be because of some general fear you have about the step you are taking into marriage, or a reasonable query sparked by stuff you've noticed.
0 Replies
 
 

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